Final update for this version of Grayblog:
last night I went to the bar. Andrea and Kev were there, but this time I didn’t leave. Instead I talked with Andrea and muttered at Kev – bought them drinks too. Amazingly bloody civil of me. All I really wanted to do was to pick Andrea up, hold her close, take her home. We talked, but nothing is going to change. I am finding this very VERY hard, even if I am apparently being “brave and strong” (Andrea’s words) about the whole thing.
Anyway, enough said.

ANNOUNCEMENT: make the most of reading this blog in it’s current form. Sometime in the next couple of days, the Grayblog archives will be deleted from the navigation, and a new project will begin, still at this URL (cos I’m too skint to buy a new one), complete with new archive files. (The old archive will continue to exist, so if you have linked to them, don’t worry, your link will still work).
It’s time for me to move on, start over. Things have changed and are changing faster than I can really take in at the moment, but somehow I have got to deal with those changes, deal with the people involved (including Andrea and Kev – Chichester is too small and I love my bar too much not to) and [deep breath] change myself and my life. Those who really know me will know that I am not a great fan of change, and tend to prefer safety and stability, but sometimes events and circumstances call for drastic action. Now is one of those times.
Thanks to everyone who has read Grayblog since September, especially those people who have been kind enough to give me feedback and support, particularly during the last couple of weeks. I can’t promise that the new content will be quite so dramatic or “exciting” as this version of Grayblog, but I hope you’ll understand my reasons for doing this.

all the best

Graybo
xxx <–where appropriate!

just when you think things can’t get any more strange, I just got a knock at the door – Bora. Now, the last I knew, he was in Paris and planning to rent a flat there. Now he is in Chichester, back at his old job at Comme Ca restaurant, and things all seem quite odd. Hey-ho. But it’s great to see him again and have him back in town.

didn’t sleep at all last night – well, about an hour and a half. feel crap this morning. not sure if I want to go out tonight – not sure I can face another night like last night. equally, staying in and feeling sorry for myself doesn’t seem to be an option either. ideas?

I have never felt so alone in my entire life.
Here follows an account of this evening’s events:
- went for hair appointment with Jo. She hadn’t spoken to Andrea, and naturally was shocked and stunned by events. In fact, she was nearly moved to tears – I’ve never seen her like that before – she nearly was speechless, which for Jo is quite something. I dunno – we really couldn’t do much for each other.
- came home and cooked dinner. Another oven-ready pizza – I haven’t cooked anything properly since Andrea and I split, as cooking for us both was, for me, an intrinsic part of our relationship. That and taking a bath are the two things I can’t do (shower city here) – food and the bath were two things we always shared.
- called just about everybody – no answers from anyone.
- called Sarah. Both feeling crap, so arranged to meet here (my place) and head down to W2 for a few beers.
- got to W2. Met up with Kearn. Had been there about ten minutes when they walked in. I don’t think I have ever felt so tense in my life – seeing the two of them together made me both intensely angry and intensely sad at the same time – anger, fury, sadness, love and nausea all at once. Andrea offered to buy me a drink – all I could do was mutter a refusal. Decided to leave and head down the road to the Nag’s Head. Left Sarah and Kearn behind with them. If I’d stayed, I think I would have hit one and cried at the other (I don’t mean Sarah and Kearn).
- stood in the Nag’s on my own, drinking a pint and feeling sorry for myself. Took about fifteen minutes to drink that, and realise that no-one was going to follow me from Woodies – don’t blame them, they are caught in between two lots of people, and there are two of them and only one of me. Decided to go home.
- just as I was leaving, spotted Paul F. Thank god. So went over and talked with him, with another pint. Promised that I would write here about how amusingly ironic it would be if I was to go out with Tanya – just like to point out – NEVER gonna happen. Nice friend, but that’s as far as it goes. At least Paul managed to extract a smile or two from me – rare event these days.
- headed with Paul back to W2 to say to Sarah that I was heading home. I could see in Andrea’s eyes that she wanted to talk to me, but I don’t think that the bar is the place. I’m too cut up about the whole thing and I’m not entirely sure that they understand just how much hurt they have caused. If we started talking about it in the bar, I can foresee that I’d just cause a scene, probably punching one and sobbing on the other (yes, I know I said that before – but I really do feel that way).
- so, instead, I have come home. I feel more alone than I have ever done. I can’t really go and tell any of the guys this, else I’d appear as the drama queen (drama king?), and that wouldn’t really help anyone, least of all me.
- summary:
- I still love Andrea. Stupid huh? I’d do anything to get her back, to curl up with her at night again. I can’t believe we have broken up. Yes, we had our differences – different taste in music, different tastes in TV and film, etc. But I always felt that we got on at a personality level like nobody has got on with me before. And the fact that I had little or no warning that things were going wrong, no chance to discuss things, to try and put things right, is something that makes me feel incredibly useless and powerless. Andrea, if you read this …. I love you. I don’t want that to sound empty or throw-away. I mean it.
- as for Kev. I can’t believe how insensitive he has been. I’ve held back from saying this in this medium before, but seeing him tonight made me feel that the time has come to say what I mean. I can’t believe Kev could be so insensitive, to throw in my face nearly 20 years of friendship and trust. To keep secret from me for nearly a year something that he must have known would be so important to me (assuming what he says is true – and I don’t know what to believe any more). One or two people have suggested that we might become friends again given time….I’m sorry, but I don’t think that is true. I feel so betrayed, used, angry. Kev – if you read this, I want you to know that I feel used. Why did I trust you? Andrea is the person I love more than anyone I have ever met – you knew that. You knew I was planning and saving for a future with Andrea. You knew how important she was to me. And yet, given the news that Andrea and I were falling apart, did you give any consideration to how I felt – your “best mate” for nearly two-thirds of our lives? From my point of view, it doesn’t look like it.
- all-in-all, the whole thing makes no sense to me. I know I’ll seriously get some stick for typing this here. But it’s (part of) what I truly feel. All that I held true is gone – my best friend’s trust, my good friends, my favourite bar (my second home), and above all, the love of someone I love more than anyone I have ever met. That is why I feel alone.
I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight. This weekend I have to do some college work. I have a pile of reading and a couple of assignments to complete. I’m really not in the mood. Life just seems to have entirely lost it’s focus at the moment. I’ve lost my way – I don’t know where to go and what to do.
Got to stop now – can’t focus on the screen any more – not beer, tears.

I’m not looking forward to the rest of this afternoon – I have an appointment at Buzby and Blue hair salon with Jo. As you may recall, it was Jo who originally introduced Andrea and me to each other. I have no idea if Andrea has already spoken to her, but either way she (Jo) is going to be really upset. And then we’ll sit and talk about it all, and of course, a hair salon is a great place for that sort of conversation – not. Ah well – I’ll just have to persuade her that her matchmaking abilities are fine, but she needs to try a bit harder in my case!
And it’s raining. Great.

last night, I went out. It was good to get out of the flat, get a few beers in, read the paper and get some moral support from people. Thanks guys.
Strangely, in spite of the beer (which usually aids sleep), I had a lousy night’s rest, lying awake from around 3am to around 5am. The trouble is, my body is beaten and exhausted by all this, but my brain is still coming to terms with it – that doesn’t make for a good combination.

Today, I have spent more than half an hour on hold to the Indesit spares department, trying to sort out returning my unwanted washing machine part. I think it is possibly one of the worst examples of customer service I have come across in years. And, no, I have no worries about publishing this here.
They have agreed to take the part back, but will only give an 80% refund to cover handling. That, and the £2.77 it has cost to post back, means that I am £8.17 down on the deal. guh.

Mother Teresa lava lamp.

I wish I knew how to do this because it is very cool. I like “b” most of all. I particularly want to know because I have recently told someone that I have “good working knowledge of HTML”, and may have to prove it.

mood update: I feel about the same as yesterday.
I had a fairly long and quite vivid dream last night – it didn’t help.

dumb things is interesting. one to watch, methinks.

Everyone wants to be asked questions (well, everyone being Meg, Tom and Vaughan – and Vaughan is only doing it half-heartedly). I have loads of questions at the moment, but I don’t think these people would have the answers.

in view of my ranting, moaning and self-pity for the last fortnight (god, is it only two weeks? not even that!), read what Meg wrote last night. I know exactly what she means.

TPL update: 25 points this week. Total now 600.

has anyone got any suggestions for shifting this really miserable mood I’m in? Things keep popping up to remind me – last night I was tidying and found Andrea’s Christmas present wish-list (most of which she got), scribbled on the back of an envelope. This morning I went to my pile of socks as I was getting dressed and pulled out Andrea’s knitted black gloves – she’ll have missed those last week. And there is still a very large pile of photos from our holidays together that I just can’t find the strength to deal with – so they sit in the middle of my living room floor.
And even though I know that going out with someone new now would be a bad idea, I can’t think of any way that I’m going to get to meet new people. The bar is off-limits (although I’ve been there twice now – but only in the knowledge that Kev wasn’t there), and I don’t want to go anywhere else and sit on my own. Not that I really want to go out with anyone new – what I really want is to get back together with Andrea, but that is as likely as my flying to the moon by flapping my arms.
I’m also aware that people will not put up with me feeling sorry for myself for ever – they’ve been really good so far.
OK – I’m going to go and do some work – “keep busy” they say – yeh, right.

God, I am really depressed this evening. I thought I’d been doing really well for the last couple of days – none of the sitting on the edge of the sofa sobbing uncontrollably. Well, I haven’t quite got back to that level of despair, but I’m not far off. Maybe it’s because I’ve just done a bit more tidying up in the flat, packing away and throwing away a few more memories. Whatever the reason, I am feeling very low right now, in spite of the two bits of good news I have today (one which I can’t talk about yet and may not be a piece of good news anyway, and the other being that my washing machine is ok after all – which is actually bad news in a way too because I have imposed my laundry on my mum and wasted thirty-odd quid on a part I didn’t need).
I really am VERY depressed. I miss Andrea like … oh, I don’t know, but I miss her. I’d do anything to hold her tonight.

hmm. There are things afoot that I can’t talk about here. But as Robyn put it when I told her, “one door closes and another opens – or rather, one door is slammed in your face.”
Really wish I had “someone” to share all this with. However, in her absence, I’ll just have to make do with thinking about it myself. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know as soon as things are definite one way or the other.

Someone I know has got a PC infected with the Hubris virus, as I’ve received it about 10 times (and have removed it on each occasion). If you get an e-mail from someone calling themselves Hahaha with a short story about Snow White, then that’s the one. Do not open the attachment – you will not be infected unless you do so. For more info, go to ZDNet. Of course, readers of this site have more sense than to open attachments from people called Hahaha.
Hmm. Girlfriend. Washing machine. Best mate. Virus. What next?

apology to Indesit: it seems the correct component was sent. I’m looking at my existing part and thinking that it may not have actually become damaged, merely moved from where it should be. So there may in fact be nothing wrong with my machine. hey-ho.

from my horoscope for today: “Do something out of the ordinary with a friend tonight. You are ready for someone to convince you to try something different. Don’t worry about what everyone will think, just do it!” hmmmmmm.

Sunday night review of the weekend: how many of my objectives have I achieved?
- fixing washing machine – failed. Indesit sent the wrong part. guh.
- doing laundry – achieved. Took my laundry over to my parents and did it there – hopefully by tomorrow it will all be dry and I’ll be able to bring it back. That should give me enough to keep me going until I get my machine fixed.
- drinking beer – achieved. Friday night I met up with Sacha, Tanya, Fi, Nick and Nick’s fiancee Anne, as well as bumping into Leigh and also James W. We went to the Dolphin and Anchor, which was particularly cold and unwelcoming, and then came back here (my place) afterwards.
- going to dinner – achieved. And what a night that proved to be. But all you need to know is that we met at Sadlers for beer, moved to ASK for food, and then ended the evening in Woodies. After Woodies, we went out to Thursdays nightclub, which isn’t usually an experience I enjoy, but it wasn’t too bad, and it was Tanya’s birthday after all. In the end, I ended up back at Ian’s talking about life, drawing and the graphic novel until around 5.30am (walking through the empty streets of Chichester on a damp, drizzly, foggy night, whilst quite pissed and feeling very mournful is about the best mood enhancer I know – I once made a compilation tape to listen to in the car and called in “Late at Night and It’s Raining”, just for when I was in that sort of mood – must dig it out!). So today has been shot to pieces as I didn’t get out of bed until 12.30, which is almost unheard of for me.
- going for walk – failed. The plan had been that Sarah, DAGS and I would go for a stroll on the Downs today and have lunch in a pub somewhere, but the weather wasn’t very inspiring (steady rain and very low cloud), so we decided to go for lunch instead. We went to The Vestry in Southgate, my first time, and had a pretty good lunch. Naturally we sat and chewed things over – it seems that we can’t do anything much else lately.
- college reading stuff – failed so far. Might do some in a while. Have been and purchased the new text that I need to read, so that is something I guess.
- missing Andrea – achieved, needless to say.
- trying to get back on my feet – failed mostly.
It all just keeps running round and round and round inside my head. Things like the thought of the two of them going to the pub together and spending the night together just make me feel nauseous – literally. I’m still so very hurt by the whole thing, that it’s hard to feel any other way.
Sarah went to visit Kev on Saturday, and Andrea was there. She (Sarah) phoned and told me as I was walking around Waitrose, and I had to go and hide by “margerine and butter” whilst I composed myself – it doesn’t look good to walk through “cheese and yogurt” with tears running down your cheeks.
A few things have come to mind – I’m single now, I can’t really see much chance of Andrea ever come back to me (but GOD – I’d give ANYTHING to make that happen). So, with being single and lonely, I guess it’s time to start looking for someone new. At the dinner at ASK, I met Tanya’s neighbour Jodie, who is very pretty. We sat opposite each other for the meal, and chatted extensively. As you might expect, I was flirting away, and was doing quite well (or so I thought) until she said “Well, I’ve just started seeing this new bloke….” which I took as a sign. Hey-ho.
Of course, going out with anyone at the moment would be an absolutely disastrous thing to do – I’m still in love with Andrea, and all I’m really looking for is a bit of company and possibly even a touch of revenge (although I’m not sure exactly what sort of revenge that would be). The thing I miss most of all is having someone to share things with (all I have now is you, dear invisible, unknown reader) – I had been looking forward to dinner last night for a couple of weeks, and it should have been something I’d been sharing with Andrea, with my best mate there too. But I’ve been dumped by one and betrayed by the other, and now they are “seeing” one another. ack. Having a new girlfriend would certainly give me some sort of “defence” when eventually I do meet them again (which I know will happen sooner or later and is something that makes me sick with apprehension), but at the moment I’m quite happy to avoid them – I even have an escape plan should they come into Woodies whilst I am there. Of course, if I did have a new girlfriend and used her in that way, it would be utterly utterly unfair, and not really the way I work.
It isn’t just the special occasions that I miss sharing with Andrea, it’s the everyday things too – sharing meals, sharing a steaming scented bath, listening together to the very good Doves album which I bought just the night before we split and will now always be associated in my head with a time of sadness, meeting up with Sarah and DAGS for lunch (the conversation would certainly have been different!), and, yes, sharing our bed and waking together in the morning. My flat is only small, yet it seems incredibly big and empty without her here.
So what now? Should I keep chuntering on about it on my website on a daily basis until everyone stops feeling sorry for me? I know it may not appear that way, but I am actually trying to be upward and forward looking, whilst dealing with the whole thing from inside, and quite a few people have said that I’m handling things amazingly well – I met a friend in the street yesterday, and she said that I was “surprisingly perky when all things are considered”, which I took to be a good thing. At least I’m like that on the outside.
And then there is the book idea – looks to me like this would make a great story, although possibly a bit Mills+Boon-ish. But then, if it was proper Mills+Boon, the boy always gets the girl in the end, and that seems unlikely from my perspective at the moment.
I jest.
oh I don’t know. I’m quite taken with Gemma’s new beginnings idea. DAGS is going to keep an eye open for any suitable job opportunities in marketing at IBM. Charlotte (from college) is doing a similar thing at Zurich. But somehow those things seem a bit more temporal, and may not necessarily help with the more emotional issues that I’ve got to deal with. So in the end, we end up coming back round to “time”. guh. At least a new job would give me more money, which would be a major-league boost at the moment, as the finances are precarious to say the least.
Maybe just thinking less and doing more might be a good thing.
Either way, I’m going to go and do some reading now – not the college books, as my mind is just not ready to deal with them. Nope, it’s going to be Memoirs of a Geisha, which is a very splendid book, and is certainly keeping my mind full at the moment.

time to head off for the weekend. planned for this weekend: fixing washing machine (assuming correct part has been sent); doing laundry (subject to the first one); drinking beer (assuming favourable circumstances); going to dinner; going for a walk; missing Andrea enormously; trying to get back on my feet; college reading stuff.
I’ll let you know on Monday how many of these are actually achieved.

this morning I have a hangover.
and yes, I miss Andrea incredibly. I would *still* do anything to get her back, which might seem surprising to some observers, but she is an amazing person. *sigh*

post-pub blogging is always a dangerous thing to do, but here goes anyway….
in answer to my dear friend Robyn‘s ponderings, Deckert’s first name was Frank. I know because I flicked through the book once whilst in Borders in Brighton, so therefore I am an authority. And, yes, I was disappointed too.
Tonight, I had a brilliant evening thanks to DA, DAGS, Kearn, Paul F and James W, with support from Claudette and Kristian – occasionally it is really good to know who your friends are. Unfortunately the college crowd couldn’t make it in the end, but we plan a drinks session for a couple of weeks time. I’m in a much better mood now, although I seriously still miss Andrea. But, hey, I don’t think that she is ever going to come back to me, so maybe it is time to be more forward looking. And thanks to Sarah P too, for being cheery in the text message department.
Obviously I’ll be as miserable as sin tomorrow when I’m in hangover central, but I’m making the most of this whilst it lasts.
Also, kudos to Tom for mentioning Carolus Linneaus, bane of the life of any horticulturalist like me.
And, interestingly, since everything involving Andrea blew up, and word spread that I had blogged it, I have received two requests for paid work to design/construct websites – for money! As someone who has only ever designed websites as an aside to proper work or as a glorified hobby, this is hugely flattering, and something I may just take up (after not a little consideration).

I keep having the most horrible thoughts. The ones that go: “have they slept together yet?” “have they been out together?” “where did they go?” “what did they do?”
I know these thoughts are not helping, but I can’t stop them – I push them out of mind and they just find their way back in when I’m not looking.

Another thought which I’ve been pondering for the last few days is the position that my poor friends find themselves in. They have all been brilliant and really supportive, and can totally understand how and why I feel like I do. But equally they are caught between a rock and a hard place at the moment. I don’t envy them at all.

I still haven’t told my parents the whole story – they don’t know about the Kev element yet. I’ll have to, somewhen.

god, this is so hard. I keep catching myself falling into a bit of a trap of self pity, which is incredibly easy to do, and I’m trying to avoid it. I know that if I do fall too far into that trap, I’m just going to piss people off.
Last night wasn’t easy. It was my first night back at college for the new term. I’d already let Heather, Leigh and Charlotte know (by e-mail) what was going on and not to expect me to be too cheerful. Inevitably there was lots of catching up to be done – none of us had seen each other for a month. We had a new tutor (Sandy) who is quite a laugh and there were a few jokes flying around. But there were hard moments too – Libby has got engaged over the Christmas period, which is really great but made me feel a bit sorry for myself. Then there was a discussion of peak business times during the year for the legal profession, and how they are always busy after Christmas dealing with relationships breaking up. I know these are stupid little things, but at the moment, some stupid little things can seem quite big.
We’re going to go for a drink tonight after college, which will be good. It’ll save me going straight home, as that was one of the worst bits last night – I’m so used to going home from college and finding Andrea there waiting. Not that we ever did anything great or spectacular after I’d been to college – usually I just cooked our dinner and we went to bed. But I couldn’t help but think that that is not going to happen any more.
Food is an issue too at the moment. I have never been very good at cooking for one – not the actual cooking, but the quantities – cooking for two is so much easier. Since last Thursday (yes, one week today – only a week! it feels like years) I’ve eaten much less than normal – I’ve been trying to control my weight a bit anyway, so it’s good news on that score. I just have a problem with cooking anything. Last night was the first time I actually cooked much – reheated some veal escalopes (which weren’t very nice) and did some vegetables. Then when it was ready, I just picked at it.
I guess it’s just that I’ve got so used to doing everything with Andrea, all those little everyday things that normally you don’t think about, that doing anything on my own is a struggle and brings back memories. Last night I sat with my dinner, looking across the table to where she used to sit.
OK – I am wallowing now. It’s not helping me. It’s probably pissing you off. I’ll try and stop it.
At least I’ve got some work done this morning.

some semblance of normal blogging service: a TPL update: 20 points, taking my total to 575. Not a great week. Hughes transferred out, Hreidarsson in.

Further thanks for kind messages. There are some kind and generous people out there, including “real” friends, “virtual” friends and people I’ve never heard from before.
One or two people, including at least one of my “real” friends, have questioned the wisdom of relating the whole thing on my blog. I guess they are wondering who I hope will read it. Well, I guess I’ve written it as much for myself as anyone – it has been a cathartic exercise, and has helped me build a better picture in my mind of what has happened (although whether that has helped is a matter for conjecture). I suppose I also think that the people involved and my friends will read it too. One of the reasons for that is that I find it easier to write down what I really feel than to say it – I’m just a bit emotionally damaged at the moment, and I’m frightened that what comes out of my mouth may not be what is in my heart and mind. The long post I wrote yesterday took me nearly two hours to compile – I wrote bits, deleted them, read it through umpteen times, re-edited it, re-read it – over and over and over. I even thought about deleting the whole thing, and writing something about the weather, or posting a few links to Romania stories on Ananova. But I’m sure that what I wrote there is what I truly feel, hurtful as parts of it may seem.
Other people have said that time will heal. Well, I guess that can be true, but scars sometimes linger. I think back to the last time that someone I really loved broke up with me (and I didn’t love her anything like as much as I love Andrea), even though that is now nearly four years ago, the scars are still there. This time the wounds are deeper and have been inflicted twice over. One or two people have written to tell me of similar experiences in their lives – I know I am not unique. I guess that helps, but I’m not yet sure how.
There is nothing that I have written here that Andrea did not already know – including my feelings about Kev. If I learnt anything about Andrea in the time we were together, it is that me saying anything that is intended to deter her from her chosen path will serve only to make her more determined to follow that path. So I will not add anything more to what I have already said in Grayblog, which is no more than I said to her face. My love for her is such that I can only wish that she finds what she is looking for – I certainly do not wish her anything bad, and I hope that she will be happy.
And, of course, I do wish for her back. I miss her so very much. I won’t bore my poor readers with the little things that I miss – they even include her used teabags on my kitchen worktops, and the toilet lid always left open. But above all, I miss her in the mornings.
And, yes, I think maybe I should have seen this coming. They say that love can be blind, meaning we don’t see the other’s imperfections. I knew Andrea’s imperfections, and loved her just the same. But it also means that we are sometimes blind to what is happening. I guess that is why all of this is such a shock to me – I was blind, I didn’t see it coming.
Where I go from here, I’m not quite sure. New beginnings do seem a good plan. My cousin offered to give me a weekend break in London, which I’m going to take her up on. She thinks I need a fresh start. Other friends, especially DAGS, are determined to get me back on my feet and functioning again. Sometimes I feel ready for that – at other moments, I just want to curl up and hide with my sadness.
One thing I have to do is begin to focus on work again – I have done hardly a single productive thing since last Thursday, and whilst my parents will tolerate my inactivity for a while, there is a limit. It’s a family business after all, and we all rely on it to a greater or lesser degree. At least being busy may stop me thinking so damned much.

I wonder if I’ll ever be able to trust anybody again.
This is probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Memories keep running through my head of various things that happened, things that were said, parties, nights at the bar. The memories are not helping. There are some good memories too – though I’m not sure that they help ease the pain either.
Anyway, I’m going to stay with my parents tonight. Crap TV. Good food. A book that Fi lent to me. Safety.

ok, well I’ve decided to publish the whole story, as far as I currently understand events. This is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me, and I guess I’m just wandering around in shock at the moment.
As you know from previous posts, Andrea and I parted last Thursday. I hadn’t really had any warning at all – I had suspected that she was unhappy about something, but felt that we knew and loved each other well enough that if she wanted to talk about it she would. I put a good deal of it down to the fact that she had only just gone back to work for the new term, which is something she always finds stressful.
The reason she gave for wanting to end our relationship was that she didn’t love me enough. I’ve been keen for us to move in together, and had even talked about a longer term future (yes, marriage), although for practical reasons and also with regard to Andrea’s nervousness, I was prepared to wait and wasn’t going to force the issue. I couldn’t envisage us living together much before the end of this year at the earliest.
Well, according to Andrea, she feels that I’m not the one that she wants to be with for the long term, and it is best that we split now, and not six months, a year or two years down the road.
Naturally, I was devastated. When I got to work that day, I immediately sent e-mails to my best friends Sarah and Kev. Sarah called me straight away, and said not to worry and to talk about things in the evening, which was exactly what I planned to do. Kev basically just said “shit”, offered to meet for lunch (which I couldn’t do) and then went quiet.
Later in the day, I got the first bombshell – an e-mail from Kev, telling me that he had had “feelings” for Andrea ever since I had introduced them, about four or five days after we had met. It was because of these feelings that he had split with Tanya last year.
Now, please bear in mind that Kev is no ordinary mate to me. He has been by best mate for nearly twenty years – more than two-thirds of my life. We have holidayed together, got drunk together, shared secrets – everything you would expect two lifelong mates to do.
So, after work, I arranged to go to Andrea’s flat to talk things through, hopefully persuade her not to leave me, and then discuss how to deal with Kev.
When I got in the door, and before mentioning Kev, she said that she knew I would want to talk, but that she wasn’t going to change her mind. You can guess my reaction – after such a long and happy time together, I just dissolved.
We did talk it through for a while. And then I showed her Kev’s long e-mail (two sides of A4). She told me that she had no idea how he felt (which I believed – yet now, I am beginning to doubt), but then came the second bombshell – she said that she felt “feelings” for Kev too.
Well, I’ll spare you the details of how I spent the whole weekend crying and shaking. Sarah, Fi, DAGS and Robyn have all been fabulous – without them, I don’t know what I would have done. Somehow, during the course of Friday and the weekend, I managed to go and give two presentations, and also clear up my flat and put all Andrea’s things into bags – an incredibly hard thing to do, as each item has so many memories attached to it. There are some things I just can’t touch at the moment – the bag full of souvenirs from our holidays together is still sitting under the table, untouched. I can’t bear to look at them. And there is a big pile of photographs too.
On Sunday night I called Andrea. She didn’t return my message – I now know that she must have been at Kev’s. She called me back last night, and I arranged to take her stuff round to her and pick up my things from her flat – and for us to give back each other’s keys.
It was very hard. I was in tears, she wasn’t – she just kept saying that she “had to be strong for both of us”. Eventually, I asked her if she had spoken to Kev. She looked me in the eye, and I knew what she was going to say:
“Yes”
“and are you going to see each other?”
“Yes”
When I left Andrea’s a short time later, I drove straight to Sarah’s house (Andrea phoned ahead to say I was coming). Poor Sarah – her boyfriend Jeremy was there for the first time in nearly two weeks, having been away for work. I don’t remember anything about driving there. When I got there, I just sobbed on Sarah’s sofa.

So, you can see, I’ve lost the woman I loved more than any other, the one I really, honestly thought I might stay with. And I’ve lost the bloke I loved more than any other, my best mate for nearly twenty years, who I’d shared everything with.
I’m full of “why” questions at the moment. I’m also doubtful of so many things that I previously thought were true. I’m not even sure that I should have trusted Kev and Andrea. Probably not. But at the same time, I can’t believe that Andrea would set out to hurt me – in fact, I’m convinced that she didn’t. And I’m worried for her too – I just don’t think that Kev is the right person for her, and I think that she is going to get hurt. I’m not just saying that because I’m the jilted party, but because I know her and care for her.
What now? Well, I’m in recovery. It’s going to take a while to get out of this hole. Bear with me.
And why have I blogged this? Because I need to tell this story. And, if Kev reads it, I want him to know how I feel – that I still love Andrea and would do anything to get her back. But that he’s blown it – that he can’t ever expect to regain the trust and friendship that he had with me. And when he splits with Andrea, I won’t be here for him. But I will be there for her.

just a short note to say thanks to everyone who has sent kind words.
I’m still struggling with the whole thing at the moment, and would do anything to wake up and find things were different. but life doesn’t usually work like that.
as always with these things, the whole situation is far from simple – in fact it is very complicated. I may tell you about it one day, but I don’t think I can/should at the moment.
near-normal blogging will be restored shortly, as surfing the web and looking at crap has been quite good therapy over the last couple of days – anything that stops me from thinking is a good thing to do.

This is Andrea. I love her very very much. Up until yesterday, she was my girlfriend. Yesterday we broke up after ten months, sixteen days and nearly twelve hours of unbridled happiness. I’m not sure I really understand why. Please excuse me if I don’t blog much for a few days.

I am in no mood for working today. I can’t focus on anything. I warned of a blogging hiatus at the beginning of the day, but I’m actually finding it to be a useful distraction from thinking. If anyone has any good jokes or stuff they want to e-mail me, go right ahead.

Ever wanted to be a porn-star? (link leads to boss-friendly content)

Bob the Builder “swearing” on video. Reminds me of the censored Clangers episode.

tax authorities are the same the world over, it appears.

everyone else is doing it so why shouldn’t I? here’s my StorTrooper:
and here is a gallery of blogging StorTroopers collated by Jen.
I think mine is a rather good likeness – particularly the receding hairline.

In Passing… – Robyn pointed me at this, and is doing a pretty good job of cheering me up. Kev and Sarah are around too. Friends are the best thing since…um….enemies?

The ultimate computer productivity tool – apparently.

can’t say that I’m cheerful this morning. expect a blogging hiatus.

you probably missed this headline. the man was identified as Neil Stevens, an architectural blacksmith who lived near here, and someone I had met a few times. I admired his work – he designed much of the interior of Buzby and Blue hair salon in Chichester (where Jo works) and I spent many hours leaning against his work in Woodies before the bar was replaced last year. Paul F went to school with his brother. very sad indeed.

oh yeah…in other news, yesterday I went out and spent £300 on a new CD-player, as my old one was getting a bit stubborn to say the least. for those that are interested, it’s a Denon UM-D30 CD/tuner/amp, and very sexy it is too. got it all plugged in last night, and am now setting about deafening the neighbours.

the decorators are out in force. new paintschemes at blue ruin and mo morgan dot com. no plans for redesign here unless the masses demand it.

Romanian man drinks caustic soda by mistake – why would anyone use caustic soda to make soup?

Family sue neighbours over dog’s name

Man “survives on water and sun” for a year – amazing stuff.

Woman survives on tea for 17 years – sounds like Andrea!

The perils of excessive drinking

the lunar eclipse actually turned out to be quite spectacular. the cloud was patchy and thin, and so I was able to see most of the eclipse. for me, it was most spectacular at the partial stages, the ruddy rustiness of totality being somewhat lost in the misty high cloud. but a stunning sight nonetheless – as my neighbour said as we watched it together: “it makes you feel a bit small, really”.

have just been advised authoritatively that my college course does in fact start next week and not this. the college couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.
so, if no college, I guess I’ll be going to the pub quiz tonight instead.

TPL score: a shocking minus 2 points, reducing my total to 555. I suppose that was to be expected after last week’s 69 points.

Date with geek on internet auction

Student takes 20 models to tropical isle

German army to get “field brothels”

The customer can count on us to assertively revolutionize high-quality best practices in order that we may quickly develop best of breed information so that we may endeavor to continually disseminate client-centric services to delight the customer. Fantastic. This is just the sort of stuff that I’m learning on my marketing course. Link (once again) poached from brainsluice.

guh. have just found out that my college course, which I expected to restart next week, actually restarts tomorrow. not happy.

BBC Signs Quiz – I got nine out of ten…not bad, I’d say. Link brazenly stolen from brainsluice.

have now completed the latest set of updates to the blog design – these are a revision of the favourite blogs list, the addition of a lovely pic of my beautiful visage, an addition to the music links list, and the inclusion of an AIM link. AIMers please note that I am usually logged on over AOL, and AOL5 does not have the same level of functionality as AIM. However, the AOL6 CD is on its way, so I’ll approach your levels of technical wizardry shortly.

lunar eclipse update: weather forecasters have reverted to earlier forecast of excess cloud, so little chance of seeing the eclipse here. guh.

have been a bit remiss in the TPL updates: score for week before last: 30 points
score for last week: an amazing 69 points. takes my total to 557, ahead of Kev for the first time this season, and roaring up the league table.

web usage stats are an interesting thing. according to my stats, I’ve been linked to by this site and this site. muh? special prize to anyone who can find the link.

Nico at my2p points out that the font Verdana doesn’t work under Linux. Since about 5% of my readers are Linux users, the bylines now appear in Arial. I’m sure you will all be pleased about that.

Criminally underappreciated bands of the last ten years – features two of my favourites: Bark Psychosis (way ahead of their time) and Laika (not poppy enough to ever be mainstream). But I’m sure everyone would have their own favourites…don’t you?. Mine would have to include Bowery Electric and my affection for Boards of Canada grows by the day.
Link poached from Vaughan’s recently repainted Wherever You Are.

Laughter clubs multiply in Singapore after expert’s visit -the new karaoke? you heard it here first.

Witches act to deflect lunar eclipse doom – *phew* – we’re all safe from gloom and doom now. unless you live in the US, of course.

Stargazers should get clear view of eclipse. Good news, as yesterday the forecast was for cloud over southern England. I anticipate a trip into the murky depths of Oaklands Park to get away from street lamps and take a look at this.

Robyn wonders where the self-cleaning kevlar underwear is that she expected to be wearing when calendars read “2001″. Vaughan draws comparisons with 1984.
Where did you think you’d be in 2001? and what did you expect to see?

rant of the day: some people have suggested that they may publish the details of the killers of Jamie Bulger (for whom an injunction was passed yesterday to protect their identities) on an international website, outside of the jurisdiction of the British courts. regardless of your opinions regarding the judgment made in court yesterday, I think that it does no good to the campaign to maintain freedom of speech on the internet if the spirit (if not the letter) of the law is flouted so obviously. whilst the courts may have no power over international websites at the moment, if such behaviour continues, you can bet that governments will begin to press for those powers – and then where will freedom of speech be?

Woman attends ID parade after flushing false teeth down toilet

Porn videos to blame for male impotency – and it’s nothing to do with rampant Romanian pollution, obviously.

Suicide man took no chances – you can’t be too sure with these things.

Subbuteo streakers ‘a bit of fun’ – shopkeeper

Man to do time for shooting alarm clock – which is pretty much how I felt this morning.

Robyn asked me not to link to her new project unless/until I thought the content merited a link.
I have passed judgment: judge for yourself

Vaughan tells an interesting story.

a week in Derbyshire in summary:
- it was actually Staffordshire
- it snowed
- there was a power failure on New Year’s Eve – for 20 hours.
- we drank a lot – I mean gallons!
- we ate even more
- there was a blizzard
- there was walking
- silly games were played (Jenga by candlelight should be an Olympic sport)
- surprisingly few arguments took place
all in all, a good time was had. there is talk of planning another group holiday, although my finances, liver and waistline would all really appreciate it if that wasn’t for some considerable time.
photos may get posted here if I get the inclination.

[blows dust off blog]
hi honey, I’m hoooome!

yes, I am back from my wanderings in Derbyshire, and am currently sorting out my e-mail. A full and in-depth update will be posted tomorrow when I am on my PC at work and not this thing (which was built before the term “mega” was added to “hertz” to describe processor speeds). I also need to do a few revisions to the blog layout, particularly to the list of favourite blogs. so check back tomorrow, ok?

further update:
- have bags packed (almost) ready for Derbyshire. road conditions improved slightly on yesterday, although very icy, so potential for thrills and spills on journey. anticipating arguments ahead based on: food; drink; navigation; activities; music; noise. hmm. all good fun.
- have chosen five CDs for trip (limit imposed by Andrea):
1. Gilles Peterson and Norman Jay: Desert Island Mix Journeys by DJ
2. Hed Kandi compilation: Winter Chill
3. Bowery Electric: Lushlife
4. Man or Astroman?: Made from Technetium
5. Morcheeba: Big Calm
…let’s see how many arguments they cause (esp. number 3).

very brief update:
1. gifts received for Christmas:
- money
- lovely bath robe (from AW)
- MVC vouchers
- books
- CDs
- clothing
- the inevitable chocolate
- wine
- the love of a good woman
- and much much more. Christmas was great.
2. weather report:
- SNOW! blimey. and it looks like our trip to Derbyshire on Saturday will be thrill-packed too.
3. shopping report:
- checked out the Oracle shopping centre in Reading yesterday and purchased warm clothing for the impending Derbyshire trip. not bad, although a bit of a trek from here.
- shopped in Chichester today and purchased more warm clothing in view of white stuff on the ground.
4. other news:
- nothing that major. David was over from America with his new girly Andi (short for Susan – don’t ask). good to see him again.
- getting ready for Derbyshire trip. stockpiling beer and wine in readiness for many nights in.
5. blog status:
- updates likely to be infrequent if not non-existent until 7th January. but watch this space – will try my best.
6. new year status:
- have a good un.

there are some nights when I love living in Chichester more than anything else on earth. tonight was one of them. I had a brilliant night out with my friends, who are some of the greatest people ever. I only missed one thing – and she was in Burgess Hill with her parents. you know who I mean – being in love is the greatest thing ever.
Merry Christmas everyone.

well, the shopping is finally done. most of the presents are wrapped, and those that need to be delivered have been. all that remains now is to finish the last bits of wrapping, do last night’s washing up, tidy the flat, eat a pizza, go to the pub and get a few beers in, and then sleeeeep.
tomorrow will be a presentfest – I went round to the parents earlier, and there was a healthy pile under their tree. and when we run out of presents, then it’ll be food until we burst, with umpteen varieties of meat, mountains of veggies, gallons of gravy and a goodly selection of tapas for the evening. plus wine by the case as well.
no more blogging for a few days – enjoy your holiday, whether with family, friends or on your own.

blogfudge waves a teary goodbye.
for the curious, I know about Robyn’s new project, and will be linking shortly. from what I’ve seen so far, it’ll be good – darned good.

well, the Christmas shopping is very nearly done. I need to go get some more brown paper and string for wrapping things (in a true “These are a Few of My Favourite Things” kinda way) and another small gift for Dad, something for Fi and some chocs for Mum – then I’m done. Then I have to go and attack Waitrose, as I have no food in the house for today or tomorrow, and I’m planning on getting some tapas for Christmas Day evening.
The whole Christmas shopping thing is (a) expensive, (b) time-consuming, (c) hard work and (d) much more complicated than it needs to be. Next year, everyone is going to get gift vouchers for Waterstone’s, and that’s all. It doesn’t help when you haven’t a clue what to buy people – my brother, for example, provides no indication of what he would like, and so his girlfriend and I are left having 20 minute long conversations along the lines of:
me: any ideas what Tim wants?
Jane: none at all. you?
me: nope.
Jane: ah, we’re stuffed then.
Andrea, on the other hand, has turned out to be surprisingly easy to buy for. I have officially gone mad in the purchasing department for that girl. I just hope she likes it all. Report on Boxing Day (or as soon as I can).

it’s awfully quiet out there in bloggerland today.

Buttock-baring hot dog sellers may distract drivers

Woman’s Christmas celebrations come unstuck under toilet door – which raises the age-old question: how???

Men’s scent can trigger women’s shopping sprees – there is just sooooo much potential for jokes in this story….I’ll leave them to your imagination.

Amazon to launch discount website – will we see a .co.uk equivalent? if we do, I’d better destroy my credit card.

Tourist board pours scorn on ‘daft tourists’ – such are the perils of dealing with the great unwashed public.

‘Crunchmeter’ invented to test cornflakes – ah, the wonder of scientific discovery.

Monster spotted in New York lake – look, America, will you stop nicking our ideas?! Nessie is the only lake-dwelling creature worth chasing after

Scientists believe bum print could be Bigfoot’s – arse!

today is my last day in the office – I’ll not be back until January 8th. expect only sporadic blogging between now and then – over Christmas I’ll either blog from home, or pop in here when visiting the parents. over New Year, we are all going on a week long jaunt to Derbyshire (we being me, AW, Kev, Kearn, DA, Sarah, Sacha and Ian) – Kev has talked about bringing his laptop, so it may be possible to blog from there.

last night, mum and dad went to see Jools Holland play at the Brighton Centre, which they say was excellent. and guess what? Sam Brown was there, singing, bless her. I’m dead jealous now. in all the years I’ve bought Sam Brown’s music and listened to it (since about 1988 I think), I’ve never yet managed to see her play. envy envy envy.
Worse still, my new Sam Brown album and single have not yet arrived. I’ve just fired off a (second) e-mail to mudhut records asking what is going on.

spring is on its way. today is the winter solstice, and the shortest day is certainly being true to form here – I got up this morning to be greeted by unremitting gloom, leaden skies and empty streets. but at least it gets better from here on.

cool art exhibition of the week: open ends at MoMA, New York. how I would love to see this, but I guess I’ll just have to make do with the (most excellent) website. (link poached shamelessly from blue ruin – and, yes, it is definitely art).

all my favourite blogs seem to have a warm christmassy glow about them at the moment – click on the links in the navbar and see for yourself.
have to say that reading them has contributed hugely to lifting blue mood that prevailed earlier. that and going out to buy AW’s chrimbo pressie.
tomorrow’s mission: more pressie buying and the hunt for good quality silver tinsel.

it seems there is whole blog thing going on of describing a typical Christmas day – well, we haven’t really had a typical Christmas for some time, due to varying degrees of living-at-home-ness and flitting-around-after-primadonnaesque-girlfriends, but I predict this year’s will go like this:
- wake up with hangover
- open stocking presents provided by mum (a walnut, choc coins, a satsuma, something silly)
- have breakfast
- call Andrea at her parents. coo pathetically down the phone
- when feeling sufficiently sober, drive to my parents – meet brother and his girlfriend there
- flop about whilst mum cooks dinner (help refused in spite of repeated offers)
- make a fuss of the cat
- warm feet by fire
- open presents – wrapping paper explosion (Dad will fold his neatly, and then get stalled on the first present (a book) and hold up the whole present opening process (we only open one at a time))
- eat VAST meal
- load dishwasher
- flop dozily in sofas by fire, reading new books received
- welcome Andrea when she arrives from her parents
- help Andrea open her presents
- eat more food (leftovers, sweet chocolatey things)
- further flopping, reading and drinking
- crawl to bed around twelve, utterly relaxed.

doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

feeling much more cheerful now, you’ll undoubtedly be pleased to hear.

Sleeping motorist puts his foot in it as car burns – he must have been very tired.

Jupiter probe detects ‘space music’ – that’ll be Bob the Builder then.

Seventies Christmas songs can give you Glam Rock Shoulder – “Glam Rock Shoulder”???

Starsky and Hutch heart-throb heads for Holby City – brilliant! will he sing? or jump across the bonnet of a red car??

TPL – 17 points, my lowest weekly score of the season so far. Total now 458.

2000 wettest year since 1872. yup.

i’m feeling more than a bit miserable today – just depressed in a really hard to define fashion. don’t ask me to pinpoint the reasons because i don’t think i can.

Woman dies after drinking battery acid for warmth – mmm, nothing like that deep down burning sensation to warm you on a chilly winter night.

Man strikes oil in his back garden – hmm. Something strange here – how come the builders didn’t notice the oil when they built this guy’s house?

Saddam grabbing PlayStation 2s for weapons – blimey, if Saddam can do this, imagine what a 13-year-old geek in a garage could do!

Camelot gets lottery licence – Richard Branson = pregnant chad. Look out for fun times ahead in the courts, kids.

owners of UK-based weblogs may care to take a butcher’s hook at meetlinks – it’s self explanatory.

weekend report: Friday featured beer session in W2, including AW losing her temper. but all sorted now, no harm done. I, of course, was a model of quiet restraint.
Saturday we went shopping in Brighton, including dinner here, which was very lovely. Brighton was heaving, but AW and I managed to get most of our Christmas shopping done. In the evening, we entertained my parents to dinner at AW’s – swordfish steak with rustic tomato sauce. Not bad, even if I say so myself.
Yesterday, AW did school work whilst I did my Christmas cards. Then we went back to mine, and AW cooked a lovely tea. Then we were dull and went to bed early.

Three Millennium cities created – the “City of Brighton and Hove”? The Hove folk won’t stand for that. (For those that do not know, Hove is a small town adjacent to Brighton, and has always lived in the shadow of its much larger neighbour – but Hove people are a proud bunch, and if you say they live in Brighton, they will always reply “Hove, actually”).

Man takes pictures of flooded roads for a hobby – plenty of material around here at the moment.

Hong Kong woman in bid to mend ozone layer – daft enough to be Romanian.

Beer can stave off heart attacks and blindness – hurrah! More beer!

not sure if I should post this….oh whattheheck…AW had a dream last night and woke me up to tell me about it (at 4am or something – thanks). Apparently she was rushing to get to hospital on a bus (obviously *the* most effective way to rush anywhere) and when she got there she (painlessly and quickly) gave birth to what she described as a “perfect baby girl”. I’ll spare you the other details. Apparently I wasn’t there, although her mate Sue (mother of AW’s goddaughter) was.
Now, coming from someone who has, ever since I have known her, professed an utter terror of ever becoming a mother, I find this strange. interpretations welcome.

here are the results of the poll on office animals:
cat: 50% of votes cast
dog: 0%
fish: 0%
other animal: 0%
no animal: 50%
Looks like we need a recount.
Thanks to both people who bothered to vote. Maybe I need to make future polls more sexy, along the lines of:
>I have shagged a cat
>I have shagged a dog
>I have shagged a fish
>I have shagged another type of animal (specify)
>I have shagged no animals other than the employees/boss
Results will be posted here on Thursday. Votes by 0900GMT on that day please. Your anonimity will be preserved (snarf!).

Virgin ‘superjumbos’ to have mile-high club beds – that’ll be the Airbus A3-XXX then. guffaw.

BT outlines unmetered internet access plan – and for how long have AOL offered this?? C’mon BT, it’s not new!

my friend Bora is famous for his pearls of wisdom – usually they leave his audience either in stunned silence or fits of laughter. these are from an AIM conversation we had earlier today:
on growing older: “when you know you’re gonna hit the big 30 it makes you think a bit more about life and less about the birds and the bees”
on Kev’s love life: “i hear kev didn’t get laid AGAIN, couldn’t you find someone for the old boy?”
on giving up his restaurant business: “finished! new bora looking for new work and new woman to have new fun !”
now, be honest Bora – aren’t the last two statements incompatible with the first one?

how many readers of this blog work in a workplace that has a resident cat? or dog? or any other sort of animals for that matter? ooooo – I feel the first Grayblog poll coming on! but because I was stingy and didn’t purchase the CGI option from my host, you’ll just have to mail in your votes using these links:
>my office has a cat
>my office has a dog
>my office has fish
>my office has another type of animal (specify what it is in the body of your mail)
>my office has no animals other than the employees/boss
get your replies in by 0900GMT Monday, and I’ll collate the results and post them here. comments in the body of your mails are welcome. incidentally, my office has a cat, Seamus (when you get there, click on “our cats” from the menu bar to see a pic of Seamus).

traffic report: if you are thinking of travelling through this part of the Sussex coast anytime in the next few days…FORGET IT. it’s hell out there. the B2166, A27 and A29 are all completely shut, so all the traffic has been shoved onto the A259, with the result that Bognor is gridlocked, no-one going anywhere. it took my brother ten minutes to get from the Hotham Park roundabout to the Butlins roundabout. that’s a distance of roughly 200 yards.
of course, this is having a disastrous effect on local trade. I went late night shopping in Chichester last night. given that there is only one more late shopping night before Christmas, it was amazingly quiet – I don’t think I have ever seen it so quiet on a late shopping night – terrible.

my office faces south. in summer it gets blindingly hot. in winter, it is cold and the sun shines right in my window and into my eyes. being typically British, even though we haven’t seen the sun for about three months, I’m still able to whinge about it.

Tests for pop singers in Iran – I think more governments should adopt this policy.

webcam update: if you look at the Chichester webcam after dark (when the lights are on in the office), you can see reflections in the window of the office – take a close look at that poster on the wall above the desk. I wonder if the council know that that is on their website? Looks like a bit of a condensation problem on that window too.

Elderly Italian stallion hit with divorce over too much sex

Glass coffin for coma vision man – hmm.

Man catches 10-pound salmon in high street

there is now a live webcam of East Street, Chichester. The pointy thing in the middle is the cathedral spire – if you walk up to the cathedral from the point where the webcam is, and turn right, go another 300 yards, you will come to my front door. W2 is just out of the frame of this picture, about 100 yards to the right. Kev’s house is about 200 yards behind the webcam. Nick’s office (home of Nick’s Pad) is about 200 yards up East Street on the left, as is SJP’s.
we’re all waving at you!

Robyn is unwell. be wonderful and send her a get well note.

well, the flooding in Chichester turned out only to be minor. the Lavant has dropped back from its peak, although it still makes a formidable sight for what is only a seasonal stream after all. but the traffic chaos continues – Andrea has decamped to my place for the rest of the week so that she doesn’t have to sit in the queues – average journey times between Chichester and Bognor are now 90 minutes or more – it normally takes less than 15 minutes.
the “City Fathers” (the dusty, crumbly, stick-in-the-muds that make decisions in Chichester) have decided to honour the fire service with the freedom of the city in recognition of their efforts in averting the flooding. this honour will allow the service to march freely through the city with bayonets fixed. hmm. I’m sure they would rather the city gave each one a £20 bonus in their Christmas pay packet.

just checked travel news – every road between here and anywhere north or west is closed by flooding, with the exception of the A259 – Andrea just called me. She is on the A259 and has moved about 400 yards in half an hour. Not a good night. The Lavant has finally managed to escape its confines and is flooding the area around the Sainsburys supermarket on the western side of Chichester – many roads are flooded. Inevitably some homes will be too. Fingers crossed for W2. Trains are still running according to Connex, so I should be able to get home (in theory).
More tomorrow.

Gore quits and Bush is set to be 43rd president. So, it’s all over. At last. I have to say that I think history will show that Al Gore probably should have been the president. But I wonder if he’ll be in a position to be a candidate in the next campaign.
Either way, we have four years of firmly right-wing policies ahead in America, with Republicans in control in both the lower and upper chambers and in the White House. Whether this is good for the UK and Europe remains to be seen. I personally do not think it will be good – Mr Bush represents a more isolationist idealogy.
Of course, some will say that this is the beginning of a new move to the right in global politics (the mirror of a move to the left that started around the time of Clinton’s election). I think that is already happening, but will not be very extreme – more a move to just-right-of-centre. But I think it will be overshadowed by a more worrying trend – a general disillusionment with politics and politicians in general, with UK and US politics dominated by spin more than substance, and the debacle and disarray of the Nice EU summit as prime motivators of that opinion.
As “they” say, time will tell.

you can now link to individual posts in this blog – the URL is under the nice little > in the byline at the foot of each post.

Laser offer for bearded shepherdess – “has no need of men”…hmm, draw your own conclusions.

Man jumps off crane to prove he’s an angel, fails – wins today’s award for driest news headline.

Solicitor sells mud on internet – actually, I know from work that there probably is a serious market for good quality screened sterile topsoil online. Anyone want to set up a business on those lines?

Chatham women are the ‘new Essex girls’ – hmmm.

oo – the banner has gone. clever little me managed to read a set of instructions and follow them. and it’s only Wednesday! just marvel at what could be achieved by the weekend!

think I may have figured why that irritating pop-up easyspace banner is still there. you know, sometimes it would be useful if I actually read the instructions given. duh.

TPL: a not-very-inspiring 22 points this week, taking my score to 441.

I subscribe to a daily horoscope service (yes, I know, saaaaad). Here is the prediction for today:
“Clear the road and keep an eye out for the steamroller. Street cleaning is about to occur with little to no warning. In fact, there may be a whole construction crew out to repave the roadway. It is likely that the detour takes you off of your usual path. Only stop or go when the sign spins in your favor. Events beyond your control are about to flatten everything in their path. Prepare yourself by partaking in the purchase of a hard hat. Hold onto your money at least until after the dust has settled.”
Muh? Interpretations welcome.

will it ever stop raining? water seeping up through the shed floor at work. great lakes (used to be puddles) everywhere. not good at all.

Regulars chip in for barmaid’s boob job – I don’t think the delightful Claudie at W2 needs any help in that department!

Robert dies happy opening 100th birthday message from Queen – whisky, gambling and making the headlines when you die – now that is a good life!

other news:
ill: spent much of Sunday night and yesterday being ill, probably due to food poisoning. will spare you the details, but suffice to say that it’s probably a great aid to weight loss.
gas man: engineer came yesterday and serviced my boiler (no problems) and fixed the dysfunctional radiator in the bedroom (by tapping it with a hammer!). all this took about 25 minutes for which I paid £65. hmm.
windows: nice man from TRP Glazing came to measure up the windows yesterday and will be sending a quote through soon. I expect around £1500 – £2000 for new Georgian style PVCU double glazing, plus the cost of planning permission.
ex-girlfriend e-mail: having consulted widely on this matter (especially with Andrea), I’ve decided to send a friendly-but-not-too-friendly reply. more bulletins as events warrant.
weather: Dave has posted a link to some images showing what will happen if the Antarctic ice sheets melt. Actually, with the amount of rain now falling on Sussex, we could reach that scenario fairly soon. Work has started on the new emergency flood relief channel for Chichester, which will save W2 and Kev’s house from flooding, but will probably lead to Pagham being flooded instead.
shopping: tonight is a special evening for account holders at Waitrose – I predict much fine food purchasing.

OMIGOD – Sam Brown has a new album – may be forced to rush out and buy it NOW!

blogger seemed to be dysfuctional yesterday, so apologies for lack of postings.
concert review: Kev splendidly purchased tickets and transported us to Shepherd’s Bush to see the SAS Band. I probably would have enjoyed this more if I didn’t feel like death warmed up – however, it was pretty good, highlight of the night being the fantastic Leo Sayer (yes, THAT Leo Sayer), who was simply awesome. Some of the others were pretty good too – wish I could remember the name of the woman from New York who had an amazing voice.
It has to be said that the music on offer was not the sort that I’d rush out and buy (except the song “Just Good Friends” that Fish did, but I only bought that because he did it originally with Sam Brown), but it was pretty enjoyable nonetheless.

update….well, plenty has occured since my last blog entry:
exam: went ok – much better than the one on Monday, which was hell on toast in retrospective…one of those occasions where the more you think about it, the more you realise that you really did a bad job. But Friday’s exam was ok – I was much less stressed, and able to focus more, and wrote nicely structured answers (no “stream of consciousness” responses). Have to wait until the end of February for my results, but will post them here.
Andrea’s birthday: still hungover. Friday morning, being a little stressed about my exam, I was awake bright and early, so was able to give her the presents before she left for work – and they fitted, which was nice (I’ll leave you to guess what they were!). And the flowers arrived at her work fine too, which was good.
In the evening, we went for dinner (I met up with the posse after my post-exam drinks session with a couple of the girls from college (Hev and Leigh), so was fairly warmed up by then!). The meal was superb, and we got thoroughly debauched. There are photos, so I’ll try and get one or two from Andrea and scan them to add in here someplace.
Saturday morning, after a little lie in, we went shopping, met my mum for coffee, and then went on to Ian’s in the evening for a games night. Everyone was a little subdued after the previous night’s proceedings, but it was a pretty good laugh. We got in around 2am this morning, but the rest were carrying on when we left.
Today, we went for dinner with Andrea’s parents at the Baillifscourt Hotel at Clymping (I’ll find a link somewhen), which was very good. Food was lovely, although I’m just beginning to get that serious you-have-overdone-it feeling in my liver and kidneys!
Tonight we are scooting up to London to see the SAS Band at the Shepherd’s Bush Empire. Report tomorrow.
Other news:
SJP is looking better after collapsing at work on Tuesday. She’s got to go for tests tomorrow, but hopefully she’ll be fine. Fingers crossed.
My friend who was diagnosed with cancer has been told by the doctors that he doesn’t need surgery or radiotherapy or anything – so having gone from doom-and-gloom, things now seem fine. You wonder sometimes if doctors do this sort of thing just to wind up the patients?!
Ex-girlfriend: I’ve received an email from an ex-girlfriend, completely out of the blue. I always feel a bit awkward about these things – I was really cut up when we broke up (about three and a half years ago), but life has moved on, there is much water that has flowed under the bridge and times have changed. I know from other sources that life hasn’t been entirely a bed of roses for her in the meantime, whereas I’m really very content at the moment (ok, I’d like more money and more free time, but who wouldn’t?). It’s basically just a cut’n'paste forwarded thing with a “how are you? are things ok?” note on the bottom. So, how should I respond? Ignore it? Send back an innocuous chit-chatty thing? Or send back something else? You decide.

oh, by the way, thanks to everyone who has voted nicely at bloghop and boosted my rating – you’re lovely, and if anyone says you’re not, you can show them this blog and prove them wrong.
if you haven’t yet voted at bloghop, click on the little coloured squares in the navbar on the right of this page (preferably on the green ones – thanks)

Man hammers nail into lover’s head – these Romanians are getting (more) scary.

Man chops off wife’s fingers for nagging – be warned: nagging can be harmful to your health

Woman, 63, accused of trying to seduce son, 26 – more (scarily) mad Romanians.

Ryder truck that transported Palm beach ballots for sale – only in America

tomorrow is also Andrea’s birthday. I’m not going to nauseate you all by eulogising about my girlfriend – regular readers will know that I think she is the greatest human being ever born. Happy birthday Andrea!

revising today for exam tomorrow – but can’t really focus (as usual). so much of this course is common sense, and the skill is in translating that into an answer on paper in the limited time permitted in the exam hall. can’t say that I am thoroughly looking forward to the exam, and the more I look at my books and notes, the more I am convinced that I didn’t do too well on monday. but as we don’t get the results until the end of february, i’m not going to stress about it as i don’t have the energy to be stressed for that long.
anyway, after tomorrow’s exam, it’ll be off to the pub for the rest of the day, so don’t expect and blogging – certainly nothing coherent!

Dvorak – The Mornington Crescent Deck …..muh? I’ll have to look at this again when I’m less hungover.

today is Kev’s 30th birthday. happy birthday mate!
last night we went out to celebrate. before the evening, we had all agreed that it was a school night, so we should take it easy and be home by a reasonable hour….so why did the clock say “…to four” when we got home??
the evening was compounded by the excitement of hearing that SJP had spent a few hours in A+E having X-rays and ECGs, having collapsed at work (which may or may not be linked to her falling down Kev’s stairs after Friday night’s debauchery). All a bit dramatic – about to pop round to her house with a bag of grapes and some Lucozade.

Have You Ever . . . ? …has to be done really

TPL – 41 points taking me to 419 total – a pretty good performance, with four goals for my team. Could be challenging for the title soon at this rate (yeh, right).

Bonking plywood reindeers offend residents

Online paper shows sex clip as investigative journalism – I’d hate to have my important parts distorted.

Man honours president by making plane-shaped car. Now, would anyone do something like this if Tony Blair recovered from some illness? Nope, I don’t think so.

just learnt that a friend has been diagnosed as having cancer of the bladder – these things always seem horribly unfair.

Weekend report:
Friday. Aaaaah yeeesss. Friday. Hmmm. I’m not sure that Andrea would appreciate me telling the world what she got up to on Friday night – I think she is hoping that everyone else was so drunk that they won’t remember. Therefore I won’t tell you, but suffice to say that most people who saw what happened are unlikely to forget.
The occasion for this debauchery was the beginning of Kev’s week-long birthday beer extravaganza – starting with a west-to-east pubcrawl across Chichester city centre. I picked up the crawl at pub three (Andrea had been there from the start), and I was fairly well wasted by the end of things (w2 – pub seven). Kev was snogging various people, and SJP managed to pull a fella who she was still with many hours later (and very nice he seems too). DA peaked too soon and had to be ported home by the eternally patient DAGS. Many other people were also drunk and there were a goodly number of people that I didn’t know. The crawl inevitably ended up back at Kev’s (there was a film crew in W2 – no don’t ask me why) – I cried off somewhat short temperedly around 1.40, followed by Andrea at god-knows-what-hour (escorted by Sacha and Ian – thanks guys).
A whole week of this AND exams? By Sunday I’m going to be a wreck.
Saturday and Sunday were a revision-fest, punctuated by a takeaway and a trip round to Tim’s for birthday champers and chocs.

today I had the first of my marketing exams – the second is on Friday. I can’t say it was a joyous experience, particularly as the first question was only worth 10% of the marks but took getting on for 25% of the time. However, I’m fairly confident that I have done enough to pass at least, although I won’t be holding my breath for an A grade – I needed another 45 minutes writing time to get anywhere close to that. And today’s paper is perceived (by me at least) as the easier of the two. So now I have to spend the rest of this week preparing for Friday – not only the exam itself, but also the post-exam piss-up.
This week is also punctuated with birthdays – I’ve mentioned Tim’s. There is also Kev’s 30th (Wednesday) and Andrea’s (__th) on Friday. So much drunkenness shall prevail to distract me from the matter at hand. I just hope the case study is on the drinks industry.

Meg talks about her brother dismantling things in his youth. I have memories of my brother dismantling things too, although it was never computers (we only had Etch-a-Sketch back then). In fact, it’s a habit he hasn’t grown out of, and now you will invariably find him building things or dismantling them – Land Rovers used to be a favourite, until he got all domesticated, and now it is kitchen units. Unlike Meg, however, I don’t possess many fixing skills, so inevitably rely on big brother or dad to fix stuff.
Anyway, the point of this is that it was my big bro’s birthday yesterday – the big lummox was 39. Happy Birthday Timbo.

Minister uncovers ‘patron saint of election chaos’ – and he used to scrawl graffiti and stand around with his nose hanging over walls.

clever little me has added a search function to this site. now you can more easily find my discussion of the worldwide earthquake locator, for example. or not.

if you haven’t rushed out and purchased the new Boards of Canada EP, then do so now. It arrived this morning and was so good it nearly made me late.

If you, like me, think that the finest art ever created was that produced by the animation studios at Warner Bros during the 40s and 50s, then rush over now to the Looney Tunes Soundsource and have hours of fun downloading quotes from Daffy and Bugs.

today is World AIDS Awareness Day. I’m not going to harp on about AIDS awareness, but I wanted readers to think about these things: there are one-and-a-half times as many people infected with HIV today as have died from AIDS so far. In parts of Africa, teachers and doctors are dying from AIDS faster than new ones are being trained, and entire generations have been wiped out or are orphaned.
Everyone can do something to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS – wander here for some useful “tips”.

BBC says sorry for branding viewer ‘nutter’ – now be honest…do you think this bloke is a nutter? errr…yep.

does my blog work best this way (i.e. newest day first, newest post on that day first) or the old way (newest day first, posts on that day in chronological order)? let me know.

all rush along now to do the Color Quiz (it’s American)….here are my results: (link poached from notsosoft)
Your Existing Situation
Unwilling to extend himself or exert undue effort (with the possible exception of sexual activity). Feels that further progress requires more from him than he is willing or able to give. Would prefer reasonable comfort and security rather than the rewards of greater ambition.
Your Stress Sources
An existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory, but he feels unable to change it to bring about the sense of belonging which he needs. Unwilling to expose his vulnerability, he therefore continues to resist this state of affairs, but feels dependent on the attachment. This not only depresses him, but makes him irritable and impatient, producing considerable restlessness and the urge to get away from the situation, either actually or, at least, mentally. Ability to concentrate may suffer.
Your Restrained Characteristics
An unadmitted lack of confidence makes him careful to avoid open conflict and he feels he must make the best of things as they are.
Feels that he is receiving less than his share and that there is no one on whom he can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make him quick to take offense, but he realizes that he has to make the best of things as they are.
Your Desired Objective
Tries to escape from his problems, difficulties, and tensions by abrupt, headstrong, and ill-considered decisions or changes of direction.
Your Actual Problem
Anxiety and restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced stress. He feels misunderstood, disoriented, and unsettled. This drives him into a search for new conditions or relationships, in the hope that these might offer greater contentment and peace of mind.

Conclusion – it tells me what I already know. I’m bored with my job and need to change, but haven’t the confidence to stick out my neck and apply for something. That’s why I started my college course, so as to build my confidence and learn a few new skills. However, I refute any claims that I am lazy – evidence: six years running a local society, 11 years in this job, organised umpteen events, regular trips out to go lecturing and my college course as well – not to say that I don’t mind laying in on a Saturday morning if I get the chance. Anyone got any jobs going?
As for the comments about my sexual energy…..well, that would be telling.

Eight and a half hours of Harry Potter on Boxing Day – don’t think I’ll be listening to Radio 4 then.

Elvis copycats taking over the world. Alvin Stardust – “an untouched goldmine”. Well I never.

How to minimize gravy wastage – something with which we should all be concerned.

David Beckham admits he is stupid – tell us something new.

question – is access.bakiwop the most loved-up blog on the net?
I must say that Andrea and I have been very loved-up lately. Our relationship is very easy going and pretty much stress-free – which is something of a novel experience for me, as just about every girl I’ve been out with before has been a complete bundle of stress and nervous energy in one way or another. Somehow, in spite of the fact that we don’t have many obvious things in common (she loves TV, I hate it; I love rice, she hates it; she loves Robbie Williams, I think he’s a twonk; etc etc etc), Andrea and I just “click”. Which is nice.
Of course, the problem with being in a good relationship that is happy and working, is that:
(a) it’s easy to be gooey when down the pub, and therefore shunned by your non-gooey friends
(b) it’s not so easy to offer good advice to friends who are either single or having problems with their relationships without talking about how wonderful your own situation is….along the lines of “yeh, that’s poo, and I really feel sorry for you. By the way, Andrea and I are having a fantastic time and each thinks the other to be wonderful.” See my point?

it’s been a while since I went on a rant, political or otherwise. well, to be honest, with exams looming, rants have not been at the forefront of my thinking. but, please rest assured that if anything comes to mind as a subject for a rant, that rant will be published here.
actually, at the moment I could have a seriously long rant about college and how pants it is, but frankly I can not be arsed, and I think I’ll just log off, go cook a sausage or three, and have a bath and read before bed.
what a cosy existence.

just thought I’d come online again and have a look at my lovely new domain…..oh, I’m SOOOO houseproud!
SJP has e-mailed me – she looked at Grayblog for the first time today, and is a complete blogging virgin. of course, I have been busy extolling the virtues of blogging to her, and suggested that she should get her own. rest assured, that if she does (and as a fledgling geek, I would expect her to!), there will be a link in the navbar.
Talking of links in navbars, I helped Nick set up Nick’s Pad more than two weeks ago – and how much blogging has he done? not a lot, I can tell you. go to his Pad and send him a mail, otherwise I’ll be most put out.
And on the subject of being put-out (notice the smooth segues in this post as we glide smoothly from one topic to another without pause – oh, hang on, I think I’ve paused. dammit!), my popularity rating at Bloghop is a paltry 56%. Look down the navbar – see the little coloured squares? Click the green one!! Now! Yes, that’s it, the one on the left! Go on! I’ll feel so much better if you do. I might even give you something in exchange – germs? a hereditary disease? the choice is yours.

irritating banner update – it should be gone by this time tomorrow. hurrah.

TPL – a shockingly not-bad 29 points. actually had two goals, not one. have crept up to 16th in our league as of last week, and may have managed to creep a bit further.

Grayblog has moved again – if you are reading this, you know that already. Please update links – www.grayblog.co.uk
Yep – I’ve been and bought a domain. Will have to fork out to get rid of that banner though – pretty darned ugly.

Postman Pat – bastion of the rural community – bless ‘im.

apologies for all those who have been looking at an error message this morning. Port5 say they are working on it. I am considering a move for Grayblog, but will inform everyone through the normal channels if that comes to pass.

Site update: have updated the “About Graybo” page so that it looks something like the current blogging.

host update: Port5 is being pants at the moment. may move to Easyspace who make a very good job of hosting my work website. but relunctant to move again so soon after fleeing Geocities.

Decorating update: dad came round yesterday and helpfully fixed my sticking front door and put up most of my new light fittings. I’m hopeless at DIY, so I leave it all to him. Have to cook dinner for the parents soon in exchange.

new AW photo alert:

Health update: woke up yesterday with a sore throat, which has got worse since then. ugh.

TPL update: another poor weekend from my team – my defence took a pounding (from Spurs of all people) and only one of my forwards scored a goal – and was then booked by the ref. So don’t expect a huge score this week. On the other hand, local team in Division Three (and therefore not in the TPL game) Brighton and Hove Albion, who I have followed since I was a kid (can’t claim to be a supporter) are in fine form, in second place, and had a 4-0 home win on Saturday – good stuff. Wish I could have their players in my TPL team.

more mail from Matt over the weekend, asking what it is that I give lectures on. I give lectures on plants – in other words, I talk about my work. Not very exciting I’m afraid, but it brings in a bit extra cash and promotes the business at the same time. I started doing them about 8 or 9 years ago, mostly to local gardening clubs, but now I get bookings from far and wide – last year I gave two lectures in Philadelphia, and there has been talk of a trip to California, but that hasn’t happened yet. The problem is that, whilst I am well known on the local “circuit”, I’m not so well known nationally or internationally. I keep playing with a website to promote my lecture activites, but still haven’t got round to putting it online. I guess I should somewhen.

today is “Buy Nothing Day“, the idea being we can all assuage our guilty consciences by doing nothing. yeh, right. another typically dumb idea from our illogical cousins across the Atlantic (no offence meant to any logical Americans that may be reading this).
so far today, I have bought petrol, a newspaper, a loaf of bread and a CD. in what is left of today I intend to purchase a takeaway and some beer. anyone got a problem with that?

more proof (as if we needed it) that Romanians are odd.

Indian man boasts ‘candlebar’ moustache – but why?

Hats of Meat – not suitable for vegetarian viewers.

yesterday’s trip to Pinner was reasonably successful, although I think I should have charged more than £75 for doing it. the journey was horrid – torrential rain on the way there, horrendous traffic on the way back. ugh.
tonight I have to do a more local talk, although I’ve been told that I have to go a very long way round to get there because of road closures caused by flooding. lovely.
other news: british gas have cocked up my booking and charged me for a one-off inspection AND an annual service charge. useless.

Christmas is coming – so I’ve updated my Amazon wish list (see right for a link). Greedy? moi???

too much to do, too little time!
off to London (well, Pinner, Middlesex) to do a lecture today, so make the most of it, this is all the blogging you are going to get.
mildly stressed about exams now, not helped by going to college last night and spending three hours in a room with 15 other very stressed people. can’t say there is much optimism around at the moment, but I think I can pass if I can get some revision done. will almost certainly miss college tonight, as I doubt that I will be back in time, so will use the opportunity to get more reading done, and spend some time with AW as she is going away to her sister’s this weekend.

Romanian story for today: Man ‘killed’ wife, 84, because she was bad in bed

Back to the Thatcher theme…Man bets Thatcher will lead Tories in 2002. I think William Hill have nothing to worry about on this one.

if I link to other blogs, particularly members of the so-called A-list, does that make me a fawning sycophant? you decide.

Firm unveils first text message dictionary – another nail in the coffin of good English.

Much is being made in the media (including in blogs) about the fact that today is ten years to the day since Mrs Thatcher ceased to be prime minister. Now, let me say that I am not a Thatcherite (more of a Ken-Clarke-ite) and there is no doubt that the batty old woman did some harm – but she also did plenty of good. Just don’t ask me to say what it was.
Also note that none other than John Prescott has taken a leaf out of her book. When attending the climate change conference in the Hague, he took along his sandbag to impress all the other delegates…..oh, hang on John – that should be HANDbag!

Robyn (who is not my girlfriend) has redesigned Blogfudge. It’s…um….quite purple and very…er…Battle of the Planets. Maybe I should remodel Grayblog with a Clangers theme.
Incidentally, that Clangers site is not to be confused with this one.

TPL score for this week – a pathetic 23 points, my second worst week this season. Total now 349, not very good.

Numbers game is up in Neptun Street – classic. I’ll never moan about Chichester District Council again.

Woman bites through boyfriend’s penis ….ow.

hmmmm…..it seems that there is a whole bunch of top quality new Romanian stories in the Ananova archive….Priest spills confession secrets in bar

We haven’t had a Romanian story for a while, but here’s a good one…Pensioners persuade sex shop girl to run for parliament. You can imagine this story being covered on Eurotrash.

Do you believe they put a man on the moon? and a tank, missile launcher, bunker……..

Nice beaver… – surprise pyjama party???? You know, sometimes I think I really missed out by not going to uni.

ironic blog of the day

Got mail this morning from Matt who asks “what is TPL?”….
I guess that I haven’t really explained what TPL is. It’s a game in the Telegraph newspaper – you pick a team of football players from the English Premier League (TPL=Telegraph Premier League). Each week a table is published in the paper showing how many points they scored (5 for a goal, 3 for helping to get a goal [=key contribution], 5 for the goalkeeper if he doesn’t let any goals in, deduct 2 for upsetting the referee, etc etc etc). You can buy and sell players (each player has a value) but you are only allowed 24 transfers during the year, and your team mustn’t exceed the maximum value allowed (the best players cost more). At the end of the year, the team with the most points wins a big prize (I think £10,000). Also, you can get together with friends to have a mini-league within the bigger game – I’m 19th in our mini-league and about 50,000th in the national league.
Does that make sense?
Matt also asks about my marketing course, and how long I have to go…..well, I’ve got exams in two weeks. they mark the halfway point, with another 18 months to go until I’ve completed the PostGraduate Diploma. Then I have to go to seminars and things for a year to earn sufficient CPD points (continuous professional development) to get “Chartered Marketer” status. Then I’ll be able to put letters after my name – MCIM.
of course, that timetable assumes that I pass all my exams first time, which is by no means guaranteed.
and what I do with the qualification once I have it…who knows? suggestions welcome

Couples take just five dates to have sex – that long? not round here [grin]

Women hate beards – survey – except Andrea thankfully. No plans to trade in my beard trimmer, although note that I only keep stubbly stuff. Too itchy if longer.

navbar update: have now added a whole wad of music links – go explore…
also added a link to wallpaper magazine, which is rather cool.

both Blogger and Port5 seem to be having problems at the moment, so updates here may be a bit sporadic, but here goes anyway…..

weekend update:
Friday – witnessed Kev, DA and Ian all getting their heads shaved in W2, in aid of “chariddy mate” which was a source of much hilarity. I think they raised a lot of money – estimated at between £800 and £1000 for Children in Need. good stuff.
after drinking in W2, we headed over to Ian’s for more drinking, and didn’t crawl into bed until 3am.
Saturday – went to HPS Sussex AGM during the day and ate lots of food. Thankfully, my parting from the committee wasn’t as embarrassing as feared, and they made a token gesture of conferring lifetime honorary membership of the group, which is nice (although I still have to pay my national subs!).
In the evening we had a small party for Dad’s birthday – just the family and neighbours. Food and fireworks prevailed, plus wine of course. AW and I were exhausted by the end of it all.
Sunday – after a long sleep in at the parent’s, we went for lunch with AW’s mate Sue and her daughter Emily (who is AW’s goddaughter) at a kiddie-friendly establishment in Bognor. Emily wasn’t too keen on me – as soon as I picked her up, she was in tears. But can you blame her?
The afternoon was spent doing work – AW did work for school, and I did work for college. Seems an awful lot still to do considering that exams are only two weeks away (eek!).
So, all-in-all, another top weekend.

Now, wouldn’t it have been useful to have known about the How to Lay Girls Guide when I was 18. but, hey, no regrets.

oh dear. new CD spending session coming. this time on Boards of Canada.
may be tempted to add music links to the navbar on this site.
assuming I can ever upload ever again as port5 is being pants at the moment in the FTP department.

the AGM for the Hardy Plant Society Sussex Group is held tomorrow. I will, officially at least, end my six years of service to the group, having been one of the founders, the first chairman and then newsletter editor. it’s been good fun, and I’ve made a whole bunch of friends in the process. but I’m a bit worried that Christine (the current chairman) is going to come up with some embarrassing speech in which she heaps unwarranted praise on me. after all, I’ve just kinda fumbled along with it for the last few years without putting in a great deal of effort. ah well, it keeps the punters happy.

Here’s something for all you single men – Jail Babes. Yep, type in your preferences, and by the wonders of modern technology, the computer will match you with your perfect mate. The problem: she’s in jail. Ah.
And for the girls there is Jail Dudes.
Obviously the British equivalent of this would be BorstalBirds.co.uk and BorstalBlokes.co.uk

bizarre site of the day: Learn Your Cuts o’ Beef! (thanks Robyn)

apologies to everyone who has endured the rather hideously bright link colours that have prevailed today (yellow on white, followed by bright blue on white) – they didn’t really work, did they? the only reason I’m still online at 10.50pm is because I’m here fixing it now, as I wouldn’t be able to sleep for worrying about the state of your peepers.
Grayblog – caring for our readers.

my dad will be 70 years old tomorrow. happy birthday dad.
not that he will read this, being as he doesn’t even know where the “on” switch is on your average PC. but then he is pretty good at fixing bikes, repairing showers and sorting out floorboards. and raising children. thanks dad.

following a tip from notsosoft, I’ve added access.bakiwop to my list of favourite blogs. it’s the sort of blog you can identify with…or I can anyway.

topic for discussion – will the internet put stand-up comedians out of a job? for example, the whole US presidential thing has to be a goldmine for jokes – but we’ve all read them already, including that whole sketch about the Queen revoking American independence. in fact, we’ve not only read them, we’ve read them five times! the next person to send me the revocation post will be shot.

AW had a strange dream last night in which Kev had a green plastic watering can rose instead of a nose. (for those that do not know, the rose is the bit you put on the spout of the watering can that makes the water go “sprinkle sprinkle” instead of “GUSH“). apparently he was quite perturbed by this, but everyone was telling him that it was alright really.
the question is, what does it mean? ideas?

quote from John Peel – “the football result was Italy 1 – England 0….which under the American system is a win for England”. guffaw

right – have fiddled with the design a bit and made it look a bit smarter. whaddya reckon?

now here’s something to scare you….the Nuclear Blast Mapper. type in the location of a local military installation or important government office, choose a type of nuclear weapon, and then click “detonate” to see if your house still exists. I tried a 25 megaton air detonation on the naval base in Portsmouth (which, if I was in charge of the enemy, would be near the top of my list) – looks like Chichester would be reduced to rubble, and 50% of the populace dead or injured. And then there is the DERA site at Funtington – try a puny 1 megaton ground explosion there – ooops, I’m wiped out again.
hmm – time to start work on the bunker, methinks. on the plus side, it would probably clear out the blockage in my central heating.

further british gas update – they can’t get an engineer out to me until…wait for it…11th December. guh again. still, I’ve gone ahead and booked it, otherwise I may have to wait until Christmas! cost – £67. ugh.

british gas update – they have a nice friendly ad in the phone book, a local rate phone number……..and it’s engaged. guh. so much for customer service.

my flat is unbelievably damp at the moment – and I’m not even near the flooding. this is a two-part problem, partly caused by the dilapidated condition of my glazing (which needs to be replaced) and partly by the dysfunctional state of the radiator in the bedroom. that and the fact that my flat is old. and damp. so today’s mission is to contact british gas and get some nice man to come out and fix the rad. progress reports will be posted here in the time-honoured fashion.

TPL – 33 points this week, taking my total to 326. Doubt that that is enough to move me up from my mediocre 19th position in our league.

Robyn has pigtails. AW has taken to this form of hair lately too, and in combination with her combats, her shiny pvc top and her wicked grin, it makes her look like an All Saint. which is kinda groovy – I like being an All Saint’s boyfriend. I’ll have to see if I can get a pic for you all.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Robyn has asked that we make clear that she is not Graybo’s girlfriend. That honour falls to Andrea (AW) and Andrea alone. However, the editorial staff at Grayblog insist that the above post is in no way ambiguous. We are sure our readership will agree.

a map….of toilets……in Seoul. hmmm.

after amihotornot comes amigothornot. guffaw. link poached from 10backwards.

it’s official – I’m fed up with referring to everyone by their initials. In future, I’ll use names except where I would use initials anyway (AW, SJP, DAGS, DA) – don’t forget to check out the “about the cast” page for minimal background info on these people.
of course, that means I’ll have to rely on you not to stalk anyone.

top entertainment at “Games Night” on Saturday was Sacha’s “Hat Game”. The rules are easy – divide the assembled masses into teams. Each and every player puts ten pieces of paper into a hat/box/other recepticle, upon which they have written the name of a TV show, actor/ress, film, kitchen utensil……whatever. The important thing is that they have not shown anyone else what they have written.
It’s a bit like charades, or that game they play on Never Mind the Buzzcocks – a player from each team takes a piece of paper from the box and tries to get the other members of their team to guess what is on the paper without actually saying what is written there. Each player has one minute, and the winning team is the one that guesses most correctly.
Of course, everyone gets very stressed and leaps up and down and shouts a lot, which is not good for relations with your neighbours – but who cares about them?

is bloghop cool? some others don’t think so. I’m not so sure – but then I think most things are harmless fun.

a lot of fuss is being made about who should or should not be the next President of the United States. But so far I have not seen anybody say this (which seems obvious to me): with such a close finish in the election, and such a dubious and contentious conclusion to the voting, whoever is finally appointed to the office of President by the electoral college is going to be so utterly discredited in the eyes of the majority of voters (since neither candidate will have gained a majority of the popular vote) that their position will almost be untenable. This will be particularly true for Al Gore should he be declared the final winner, as he will have to deal with a Republican majority in Congress.
My suggestion (for what it is worth) – declare the vote in Florida void, and hold a new ballot.

there seems to be a lot of discussion in weblogging circles as to what makes a good weblog, both in terms of content and design. now, I feel slightly disadvantaged in that I’m not a web designer or otherwise cool dude, merely some bloke with a blog. but in spite of that, i do have an opinion…basically, any blog or website is only as good as what the blog/site owner puts into it. there are countless good websites that have sprung up down the years (I’ve been using the web since 1995, so I know – back then we thought 28.8 was fast!), but they have died because people either didn’t update them, or if they did, they didn’t maintain the quality of what they put on them.

now, i make no claims for the quality or otherwise of Grayblog. but I enjoy doing it, and one or two people have made fairly positive comments about it, which is encouraging – and because I have been encouraged, I’m inclined to continue. which brings me to my second point – if you like a website or blog, then why not say so? send the site owner a mail – it only takes a minute. and if you don’t like it, then a little (constructive) criticism is no bad thing – but an unnecessary flaming *is* out of order.

anyway, that’s my opinion. and if you think it is valid or otherwise, then mail me. or not. it’s up to you.

weekend update:
Friday: went drinking in the Dolphin and Anchor for LH’s birthday – pity no-one else from college showed up. Went on to W2 (over the sandbags) for last orders.
Saturday: spent the day helping Dad install a new shower in my flat. hurrah! In the evening, piled round to KF’s flat (past the floods, firemen and spaghetti of pipes) for “Games Night” – much drunken shenanigans with silly games thrown in and a very large amount of food. All good stuff.
Sunday: went to Burgess Hill for dinner with AW’s family for her sister’s birthday. All most pleasant.

recent comment on Grayblog from AW – “you’ve not written anything about me lately” [sulk]
well, just to remind you all, AW is the loveliest person on two legs. admire her wonderful visage here.

Robyn has moved blogfudge. click here to go look.

Nick has a new blog. It’s at http://nickyt.blogspot.com. And he wants help deciding what to put on it. You know what to do…

flood crisis deepens:
I have just received an eye-witness account of a certain Mr A Blair picking his way among the pipes of Chichester’s flood defences. oh good. we thought things were bad enough with the water, but him as well?
actually, I’m surprised he has shown his face in Chichester. I can’t think of a more anti-Blair place to visit. Other than Arundel. or Slindon. or Aldwick Bay.

US burglar answers telephone call from his victim – d’oh!

Boy’s fear of ketchup cured – I mean, is this **really** news??

Man eats 32 Cornish Pasties in one hour – but why??

bed time product recommendation for today:
“Therapy” massage bar – also from you-know-where

bath time product recommendation for today:
“Softy” bath ballistic from you-know-where

US politics rant:
SORT IT OUT!
however, I have to say that it seems that there is something funny going on in Florida. I mean, potential irregularities **and** the candidate’s brother is state governor? hmmmmmmm.

announcement: Grayblog has moved.
obviously, if you are reading this announcement, you already know that.
if you aren’t reading this announcement, then you should do so, so that you know that Grayblog has moved.

the reason for moving – Geocities are officially about as useful as a paper bag in a snow storm.
rant! rage! huf!
hopefully, Portland will prove to be better – if they don’t, then I’ll be on the move again….

Yup, definitely in a bad mood now. Do not want to go to college tonight. Would much rather just have a long bath with my newly acquired bath products.

I feel a bad mood coming on….

Geocities seems to have a serious problem with file uploads which has persisted for the last 48 hours. if it isn’t fixed shortly, I may just consider moving my blog to a new home….but then, I’m not sure I can be arsed.

flooding in Chichester update:
there are now soldiers all round the city, helping firemen move pumps, pipes and sandbags. apparently the perceived wisdom is that it is not a case of *if* the Lavant will overflow, but *when* and *how much*. guh.
it’s not too much of a worry for me, as my flat is in a higher part of the city, but KF is near where it is likely to flood, and so is *W2* – and that is far more worrying!

current affairs comment for today: US presidential election – now what’s *that* all about??

one of my favourite blogs, cortex, has moved. check out the new identity at brainsluice. admire the neat graphics. dream that I’ll ever have enough knowledge of HTML etc to make Grayblog ever look this cool. **wistful sigh**

yup, more rain.
the environment agency has issued flood alerts on the Barnham Rife and Lavant. place your bets on whether i’ll be able to get home (after all, it only took me an hour and fifteen to get here when it normally only takes twenty minutes).

I am thinking of buying a beard trimmer.
So, I go to Altavista and type +beard+trimmer as my search phrase.
And get this.

well, what a great fireworks extravaganza the last 48 hours has been! the display at the Central School on Friday was excellent, as it was last year. and, amazingly, almost entirely funded by mcdonalds (yes, **that** mcdonalds!) – so kudos to them. looked to me as though it was going to be a major-league fundraiser for the school – must have been about 2500 people there, and tickets were £4.50 per head for adults (admittedly lots were kiddies who pay much less – £2?).
and who really enjoys these things? – well, as last night’s fireworks bash at PC’s shows, it’s mainly the grown-ups…the kiddies got bored standing in the cold while the “daddies” play fireman/pyromaniac and the non-daddies stand around drinking beer and hugging their girlies to keep warm. but a top bash it was nonetheless, with fine soup to be consumed afterwards. of course, the highlight was the rockets that failed to take off and exploded on the ground, which always makes for a more entertaining and adrenalin-filled experience!

Scientists discover ‘second brain’ in the stomach – make up your own jokes here:…………………………………………………………..

NASA satellite locator – how cool is this?
and almost as useful as the worldwide earthquake locator.
so now you know where to find all your satellites and earthquakes.
Grayblog – serving the internet community.

MPs find Thatcher more arousing than naked girls
I think they should have used penguins as an image too.

Scientists try to topple myth of falling penguins – hmmmm.
Let’s just think about the thought processes of government…we have a fuel crisis, a crisis in education, a crisis on the trains, a crisis in the NHS, a crisis of nationwide flooding….*I KNOW* – let’s spend £Xgazillion to find out if penguins fall over!
Actually, this story does generate some quite cute/amusing mental pictures.

Plants show their bright side – you know, somehow I have always suspected that the bastards were plotting against us.

Buffy set to star in Scooby Doo – “plum role of Shaggy”??? what about the plum role of Scoob? I hope they don’t make this too cutesy. and will the Velma character still crawl around on the floor every time she loses her glasses? and what about the fashions? and the “Mystery Machine”??

forgot to mention on Weds – TPL score for this week: 29. total now 260. three transfers. I think this week will be a good one for my team.

yay! just called to check and the fireworks display we are planning to see tonight is still *on* (-:

yup – it’s so quiet that I’ve set up an Amazon “wishlist” so that you can all rush out and buy me things.
It’s unbelievably quiet here today – even the phone is silent, and there is hardly any e-mail coming through. Can’t blame people for not thinking about nurseries when they can only get around their gardens in waders!

cool blog of the day: :::..::: cortex :::..:::
actually, there may be a few more cool blogs today since it’s a bit quiet around here. and i’m bone idle.

ooo – hail and a squall too. nice.
still, I’m not too worried. everything outside is soooooo wet that more rain doesn’t really matter anymore. and I’m here at my PC with a warm cat asleep across my knees.

yup – raining again

rain: can we take any more? I doubt it. the roads are closed around here, the fields are flooded, and there is a stream running through the car park outside the office door. will allow extra time to get home (which is an excuse for leaving work early!)

have updated the “about the cast” page to correct some errors. click on the link at left to go there.

have just posted an “all about graybo and the cast” page (link at left). let me know what you think.

Prostitutes demand recognition
Now…is it me, or is Ananova obsessed with sex?

Sex in space is tricky

Snakes mainly right-handed, penises reveal

and, no, I haven’t just spent £23.50 on CDs. as if.

The Cocteau Twins have a “best-of” out from their 4AD years. Ho-hum…another compulsory purchase. Where’s the credit card?

updated my CD list (which I keep for insurance purposes – I’m not *that* much of an anorak!) last night – now have passed the 400 barrier, with a collection of 403. particularly impressed by the Coldplay EP which was free with the Independent on Sunday at the weekend. may be tempted to buy the album.

my bloghop rating continues to be “mediocre”. not many votes – so click on the coloured buttons on the left to add your vote (be nice and click the green ones, ok?)

zzzzz. had to get up at 4am this morning to take the parents to Waterloo for their holiday (their not holidaying at Waterloo station, merely catching a train there, dummy!).
so I may be struggling to stay awake today.
but you can help! either send me mail or, if you have AIM, send me a message at ghspencer (assuming I’m online at the time!).
more coffee!!…

Neighbours complain about naked woman’s singing. Romanians again. I like the guy’s story about being in the lift at the same time – what a coincidence!

Boyfriend for hire – ah, Romanians…don’t we just love ‘em?

AW has also suggested that I have belittled the storms that we have had for the last few days. Perhaps I haven’t made myself clear. What I meant was that the gales and winds were nothing compared to 1987. The flooding, on the other hand, is much worse, more like 1988. So yeh, if you are reading this whilst up to your neck in muddy water, then it is pretty bad, and you have my sympathy.

AW has suggested that people reading this blog might think that I’m as miserable as sin and (to use her words) “an old fart”. humph.
well, for the record, I’m not an old fart. well, not much anyway.
I get precious little feedback from Grayblog users, so be a pal and send me mail, otherwise how can I possibly tell if I’m a fart or not??

GHERKINS, WEIRD SCIENCE AND MATHEMATICAL ODDMENTS
some people have waaaaay too much time

don’t you just hate it when the clocks change, and suddenly it is dark at 5pm. ugh. I can see why some creatures hibernate now.
prospects are not good for getting a train home tonight – looks like connex are still not running any sort of service.

there are still torrents of water pouring off the fields here, although we haven’t had any new rain since mid-morning. having surveyed the nursery, damage seems to be limited to severe waterlogging, some flooding, two fallen trees and two damaged trees – a pretty low score really. instantly, some people are comparing it to the “Great Storm” of 1987. I was here then, and i can tell you for free that what we got last night and this morning was **nothing** in comparison to 87!

sheep in blue nightdress??

my god, it’s wet out there. and rough. no trains. flooding. trees down. go check the news for the gory details.

happiness is working at your PC with a warm cat asleep on your lap (and snoring!)

Following a link from the above-named blog, I found Graham Barker’s Navel Fluff Page – to which the only reaction has to be “eeewwwwww!”. I mean, red fluff??! mine is a more typical grey-blue shade. Ugh, really don’t want to think about that.

Discovered this rather smart blog today not so soft [a world unfolding] [v8.1] courtesy of GBlogs (link at left). Particularly like the Mayfly Project – wherein visitors submit a summary of their personal year in not more than twenty words. I think what worries me most is that the bulk of them are so depressing – are all bloggers miserable? I have to confess that I haven’t found many cheerful blogs so far. Maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong places.

and the fireworks display I was going to go to tonight has been cancelled due to the weather. guh.

some “kind soul” has rated my site as “bad” at bloghop. **sulk**

“breasts are powerful”. okaaaaaay.

following on from yesterday’s rhetorical question (“an online version of the paper-rock-scissors game. whatever next?”), comes this answer.

an online version of the paper-rock-scissors game. whatever next?

Naked News could become my new favourite web news service provider.

why is there such a stigma attached to attending Tupperware parties?

this morning I had a hangover, and it was crisp and sunny. neat.
however, none of this prevented me from being nearly an hour late for work. curses on connex and railtrack. and crappy alarm clocks.

according to the death clock I’m going to die on 21 Feb 2045, which is a Tuesday, and just two days after AW. spooky.

celebration 1:
it’s officially autumn, which I love. the leaves have done some major falling overnight, and the colours are fantastic. now we can look forward to crisp sunny mornings – definitely the best hangover cure in the world.

celebration 2:
today is exactly eight months since my first date with AW. we’re both happy smiley people. ahhh….bless.

celebration 3:
connex have lost the southcentral rail franchise to govia, operator of thames trains and thameslink. not sure if this is entirely good, and i think that connex get blamed for an awful lot that is not entirely their fault. i think the more important factor is the new strategic rail authority, which is a regulator with teeth at last. the new franchise imposes much stricter conditions than the old one, and i think that will have a greater impact on rail services than who actually operates them.
look out for a nice messy divorce as govia attempt to negotiate an early end to connex’s existing contract. govia say they want to get in within a year, but the connex franchise still has 30 months to run.
and don’t expect anything to change quickly. govia say that they will not replace the slam-door trains until 2005, whereas connex had said they would introduce new stock from next year.

TPL:
a measly 21 points this week. total now 231.

back from holiday….
and yes, it was great, thanks!

highlights:
- it’s a long way from Cherbourg to Treguier
- going back to the chateau was brilliant – spoilt rotten, which was lovely.
- Morlaix, Granville (haute ville), Saint Malo (intra muros) and Dinan are all super places
- Breton Gateaux consumption should be mandatory
- you can’t buy fuel on a Sunday unless you have a French credit card (see below)
- it’s a long way from Treguier to Cherbourg
- ginger nuts really do prevent seasickness

I have got some piccies, but they are still in the camera – I’ll try and come up with an excuse to use the rest of the film soon, and get a few on here so you can see them. (Yes, if I had a digital camera, I wouldn’t have that problem – I know!)

Amusing petrol story in France:
on Sunday, we were driving about (as you do). Noticed fuel guage in red quartile. Also noticed that most petrol stations closed. Found some labelled “24/24″ and went in. Totally unstaffed, you have to shove your credit card into the pump. And soon we discovered that you need a French credit card to make them work. This left us with a problem – miles from the chateau, with not-many-miles-worth of fuel to get us there. So we end up in Lannion, in a 24 hour service station, on a deserted road, waiting for a French person to come in, in the vague hope that with our very bad French, we can persuade him/her to let us use their card in exchange for cash.
No, I didn’t rate our chances either.
Anyway, after about 15 mniutes, a car pulls up. This guy gets out, and AW (with immense bravery) explains to him what our problem is. He agrees to help (phew) and looks in his car for his card. Which he can’t find. Great. Turns out he is meeting his “friend” in the petrol station, and says we can use his friend’s card. About five minutes later, his friend arrives. Now, I’m not one to cast aspertions (sp?), but would you arrange to meet a female friend (if you were a bloke) in a deserted service station in the middle of Sunday night? no, you wouldn’t. unless you had something to hide of course.
So whilst they were getting on with their extra-marital shenanigans, we got 200F worth of petrol, gave hearty thanks, and made a quiet exit. Tres amusant, mes amis.

Anyway, regardless of all that, we had a brilliant time, and shall be heading back in the spring for a few days – probably a bit longer next time so that we can really wind down.
And if you want to do what we did, here are some handy weblinks:
- P&O Ferries
- Chateau de Kermezen (enter “kermezen” as your search string)
- Treguier

The ferry crossing on the way back was really quite rough, although far from stormy. No hurling here though, thanks to Ginger Nuts! (can’t believe that there is no McVities website – unless I’m looking in the wrong place. The United Biscuits one is dull and doesn’t have any product info).

Other news: Connex South Central lose franchise – more on that tomorrow.

links are now “teal” as opposed to old “orange” which I was getting bored with. It was also too bright and didn’t really fit in with the “Grayblog” image (the name is a bit of a pun, and those who truly know who I am will get it – it is *not* an American spelling of grey!).

far more exciting than that – in less than 13 hours, I’ll be on holiday! whoopee! off to Brittany again to stay at Chateau de Kermezen once more. really looking forward to it, although not so sure about the crossing, as the sea state is described as “moderate to rough”. I’ve checked out the pharmacy for seasick pills, but they all cause drowsiness, which is no good as I will be driving too. Interestingly, the pharmacist recommended eating ginger – and everyone else I speak to says the same thing. So, on their recommendation, I’ve purchased a pack of ginger biscuits. Can’t say that I’m convinced myself. I’d rather fly, but AW is terrified of flying, something which I hope over the next few years I can help her get over.

right – work to do, then home to pack.

I’m having a bad hair day. By that, I mean my hair looks bad. No amount of wetting, combing, gentle persuasion or loud cursing will do anything – it just sticks straight up. Whilst this provides a source of mirth for others, I find it downright irritating. Suggestions?

My cold is slightly better today, but I think the chances of shaking it completely before boarding the ferry tomorrow night are slim. guh. At least I have the prospect of a weekend in Brittany to look forward to – assuming I’m not violently seasick on the ferry. The weather forecast I heard yesterday was not inspiring.

I’m perturbed. According to RW, your youth runs out when you are thirty. This gives me little more than six months of youth left to mis-spend. But then I guess the world looks that way when you are 25.
Actually, now I am 29 [nearly 30], I’ve come to the conclusion that mis-spendable youth comes in two varieties – that which exists between years 0 and 18 or 21, and that which occurs after you are 31. 29 is the least youthful age of all, and yet all my 31+ friends seem to mis-spend as much of their time as they possibly can. I also think the capacity for mis-spending increases with wealth, and how many 21 – 29 year olds do you know with enough money to seriously mis-spend their time?

of course, my feeling of youthfulness is probably related to my health. As I now have a headache in addition to the sore throat *and* it’s raining **and** I have to go to college tonight ***and*** I have no food in the house, I’m feeling particularly unyouthful!

TPL score: 32, taking total to 210. Could do better, especially in defence.

Feeling guilty about not including links for Leila and Andrea Parker yesterday, so here goes:
Leila at XL Recordings
Andrea Parker at Studio K7

happy now?

no, my cold isn’t any better. thanks for asking. goodness, anyone reading this blog would think I’m some poor weakling, always ill.

Weekend update:

Friday – yet another beer session in W2. the world *and* it’s wife were present, which is nice.
Saturday – work. dull. did lecture to Hardy Plant Society and was thus lauded as the new Messiah by yet another bunch of old dears. Doing it again tonight in Old Dear Central (a.k.a. West Wittering).
Sunday – went shopping in Southampton at the new West Quay Shopping Centre thingy which was pretty interesting. Went with AW and SJP, so inevitably there was much clothes looking-at. I went and hid in Tower Records for a while and succumbed to the new Leila album and also the Andrea Parker DJ-Kicks thing. I would add some links, but hey, I’m feeling lazy and I have a sore throat, and if you like music and you like the web, you know where to look. Haven’t had enough time to make a decision about the Leila album, although initial reactions are *mostly* favourable. The Andrea Parker jobby is, of course, fine in extremis. Surprised myself by limiting purchase to just two CDs, although shocked at extortionate Tower prices. Will stick to cd-zone in future. or the labels.

right – slides to prepare to amaze more old bids.

thanks to RW I have been foolish enough to submit myself to humiliation on the “Am I Hot Or Not??” website. You can look at my likeness displayed there, and watch as people consistently vote me as “not”.
i’m not yet sure what value this adds to society, but it is suitably silly. or depressing. not sure which.

news review: (Ananova is my favourite web news provider)
middle east:
about as much chance of lasting peace there, as there is in northern ireland. i think that there is a group of people in each place who are so entrenched in their viewpoints that they can not possibly consider a compromise, as, to them, compromise = selling out.
the trouble with the middle east is that any disturbances there have wider implications for the rest of the world. already saddam hussein is moving his troops, and there have been two terrorist acts in yemen. the price of crude oil has shot up overnight, and the dow and ftse are falling fast.
so whist it may not seem to be that important to our daily lives in cosy southern england, it will in the long term have a direct impact on us – some analysts are even muttering that it might trigger global recession.
the first “great war” of the new millennium? let’s hope not.

flooding in sussex:
well, I can’t remember it being as wet as this at any time since january 1988, when it rained for a month without ceasing. the fields here are waterlogged, and many roads are flooded. at least we haven’t had it as bad here this time – uckfield and that area seem to have taken the brunt. in 1993, it was barnham and chichester that got it – 63 homes flooded out in barnham, and a goodly number of homes and businesses in the eastern end of chichester, both places hit by that lovely mixture of storm water and raw sewage. not nice.
we desperately need dry weather – this has the makings of one of the wettest years since records began.

my college tutorial didn’t go too badly last night. thankfully, i had time yesterday to grab some relevant stuff off the web, and so was able to blag my way through with some sensible sounding answers. of course, it might be useful if i did a bit more work in time for the exams in the first week of december.

yesterday’s other discovery was webcams – i mean, i knew about them already, but i hadn’t been to any of the big sites before. yesterday i took a butchers at jennicam – i didn’t realise quite how sordid these things were! i mean, there are pictures of her shagging and everything. now, i’m not a total prude, but i’m not sure i’d be too happy if AW installed a camera over the bed so that all and sundry could have a peep at us getting it away (i’m less sure that anyone would want to look!).

but then, now that you’ve seen a picture of us, you might not agree!

incidentally, no TPL score this week, as no matches played at the weekend due to the farce at Wembley.
nooooooooo! stoppit! I’m **not** interested in football! really! it was a lapse! I’m sorry!

here’s a pic of me and AW that RW said looked like an advert for healthy living. not sure if she meant the magazine, or healthy living in general. what do you think?

callng all regular users of Connex – want a laugh? read this

you can now rate this site on BlogHop.com
please be gentle – I bruise easily

ohmiiiiiigod! will it *ever* stop raining?? the ground is so wet that working on it is impossible. the fields and roads are flooded – I had to wade to work this morning! if we don’t get some dry weather soon, I’m going to start building an ark.

college last night was more dull than dullness itself – we’re just going over what we did last year but in less detail – dull-o. tonight I have a tutorial, for which I have prepared nothing at all.
so to cheer myself up, I went to the pub last night with KF – all verrrry interesting. we had a long chaaaaaaat about “stuff” – haven’t done that for ages, and it’s actually quite gratifying to know that we still can.

of course, this morning I’m completely shattered – and *still* coughing! why? will it ever end?

right, ought to do some work, and maybe spend some time at www.connex.co.uk in preparation for the tutorial. guh.

weekend report:
Friday night – stayed in *shock*. Cooked absolutely fantastic (in my opinion) Catalan style chicken with chorizo – was lovely.
Saturday – spent the day working with my Dad to fix my plumbing – will take more time yet, probably several days. In the evening – stayed in again *shock*. Cooked chorizo, mushroom and tomato with pasta.
Sunday – pootled about not doing much. Worked on AW’s website for work and had lunch at the Park Tavern.

so a quiet and restful weekend, although I still feel very very tired. Why?

other news: not much. and it’s raining. guh.

well, I think that last night’s beer session could be classed as a success. Nine people turned up – me, Hev, Charlotte, Georgie, Phil, Chris, Leigh, Libby and Patrick – not a bad show. Some of them mooched off fairly early, but the die-hards stuck it out to the end (me, Hev and Patrick). AW, DA, KM, and SH turned up too, towards the end of the evening, having spent part of the evening listening to PF and the band in the Punch House. James showed up too. Unbelievable that the Punch House, which has been completely rebuilt inside since it was gutted by fire (and is now called the Royal Arms, which no-one likes), is so unbelievably awful – you’d think they would have taken the opportunity to make it a great pub, but no, it’s still as crap as it always was.
Tried out new choccy treat from you know where last night too, although we were both a bit too drunk to fully appreciate it – have plans for tonight though (-;
Right – much to do….

so focussed on work that I’ve just spent the last 45 minutes fiddling with the Blogger template settings. ho-hum.

right…..off to college

have been co-ordinating tonight’s post-college piss-up. looks like we should get at least some people to turn up, although Sue (most likely of the newbies to get pissed) and Sally (popular newbie) are not coming. but I think about 7 or 8 of us should go. but then I did say that last time. somehow, I have to drag myself to the dentist by 8am tomorrow as well. god knows how.

you will notice that I have used names for people here. I’m considering dropping the idea of abbreviating people’s names, and actually using, like, um, their names. not sure if it is a good idea (being slightly paranoid that the net has more than its fair share of stalkers and cranks [not **you** of course!!]), but it will make it easier to read if I do. oh I don’t know……..I guess I’ll maintain the status quo for now. (no Rick Parfitt jokes please).

can’t focus on work today – really tired, and not enough caffeine.

fixed the bug on the work website yesterday – seems to work now, which is good.

got our textbooks at college last night (at last). they are bloody heavy.
guess I might have to read them. guh.

most curious phrase read on a weblog today:
“to go postal”
meaning: to loose one’s rag, go ballistic, become angry.

I have days when I could go postal. Thankfully, today isn’t one of them.

yup – yesterday *was* boring. I wasn’t impressed by the way that about four people pointed out that I have put on weight – one even asked when the baby was due. not impressed. maybe I’ll have to give up on beer and eating and do some exercise……naaaaah!

TPL – 30 points this week. total now 178. I’d be much happier if it was nearer 250. no trophy for me unless there is an amazing turnaround in fortunes.

weekend report – Friday. went to the bar. got drunk.
Saturday – work by day (doing a lecture in Dorset), pub by night. AW went home early, so I went to IC’s after the pub and shared a cab back with DA and SH. more interestingly, KF is back from holiday and waxing lyrical about the Kennedy Space Center and lap dancers. Hopefully, I’ll extract more details from him when he has his photos (he says there aren’t too many – I thought he’d have gazillions of them). also, JG, who introduced me to AW, has got engaged to AM – and amazingly happy they look too, which is all good stuff.
Sunday – spent the day with AW, went for pub lunch, generally flopped about and did not a lot, which was good, and much needed. I’m still a bit run down after my cold (and still coughing too), so a rest day was good.

work to do….

not much time to write today, as I have to scoot off in a minute to London to spend half the day staffing a promotional stand for the Hardy Plant Society – and, yes, that is as dull as it sounds.

have been getting this blog listed on a couple of blogdirectories, so hopefully there are a few new people reading this – so “Hello” to all of you. Send me a mail if you feel that way inclined.

have my new toy up-and-running. it seems pretty good, although I’m always wary of making rash judgments (yeh, right – like, I never jump to conclusions *at all*). if I feel really really keen, I might scan something and put it on here. like pictures. and stuff.

AW is dead stressed – she’s been left in charge of the school while the rest of the senior staff have gone on a “field trip” (aka – piss up) to the Isle of Wight. so far, she has had to deal with plain old disobedience, followed by screaming, topped off by kids hurling fists and feet at each other and then the staff, including AW, followed by invective-a-go-go. yesterday, some of the kids dismantled some pencil-sharpeners so they could get the blades out in order to mutilate themselves, each other, and anyone who came near them.
now remember that these kids are ten years old. what are they going to be like when they are fifteen? 18? 21? borstal beckons, methinks.

on a different educational note, we have a new guy on our marketing course. I’m not sure of his name, or what he does (brewing I think), but he is mucho weirdo. we were talking about using party plans to sell things – you know, like Tupperware do. This guy had never heard of this concept, and did not know what Ann Summers sell (cool site by the way) – he was amazed at the idea of women inviting other women around to their home in order to play with and buy…well, you know. We advised him to get out a bit more….

the course is a bit of problem. we still haven’t got our textbooks yet, four weeks into the course with just nine weeks to go until the exams. great. I’ve been out and bought a copy of Total Relationship Marketing by Evert Gummersson (it’s on Amazon if you’re that interested) although I’ve not started reading it yet – well, actually I have, but only the first two pages. and there is soooooo much reading to be done – I can barely keep up with the photocopied handouts, let alone the textbooks.

anyway, going to get away from it all tonight with a trip to W2. and KF is back from his holiday this weekend too, with 3000000 photos, no doubt. and at least I managed to sleep last night without waking up repeatedly to cough.

later…..

getting a new toy tomorrow – one of those all-in-one scanner-printer-copier jobs, a Xerox one. There’s nothing like spending money to cheer yourself up – better still, spending someone else’s money!

just re-read what I’ve written. Can see why AW has been complaining that I’m appearing to be excessively maudlin this week. May have to make a more concerted effort to be cheerful. Suggestions?

God, I’m knackered.
Another night punctuated by explosive coughing sessions was not conducive to good sleep and rest. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever recover from this cold, or if, in fact, it is going to carry me to an unwelcome and decidedly untimely end.
Either way, it’s left me feeling and acting like a complete zombie.

Identified a bit of a problem with my work website but thankfully my good pal RW has been helping me out. Should get it fixed sometime soon, if ever I find the time to do it (I suppose I could do it instead of updating my blog……….naaah!).

Weather forecast for the rest of the week and weekend – incessant rain punctuated only by depressing overcast dreariness. Great.

Best get on with something useful I guess…..

lesson 1 for today – click on “post” on the Blogger edit screen before scooting off to another website, else all is lost. bugger.

it’s pissing it down outside – I’m sooo looking forward to walking home in this – not.

I’m rapidly coming to the conclusion that if you read enough Blogs, eventually you will think and write in American English – perhaps even develop a ridiculous accent like certain crap actors/actresses (Paltrow and MacDowell spring instantly to mind). I wonder if, in 30 years time, English English will be obsolete – will we all talk about fawcets instead of taps and spell colour without the “u”? Comments welcome.

Anyway, the weekend….
Friday night we stayed in, both feeling less than healthy with this bloody cold. SJP called around 11pm to ask if AW and I wanted to go to a party, just around the corner from my place (we were at AW’s). I told her that we were naked in bed and watching naked people on TV (all true). I could feel her glowing down the telephone line – tres amusant – all good stuff to reinforce the idea that everyone has that AW and I lead a steamy porn-ridden existence, when in fact we were sitting drinking Beechams and watching Eurotrash.
Saturday was a day off work for me (hurrah), so AW and I had a steamy and porn-ridden morning (use your imagination) and went to Guildford in the afternoon. We didn’t get there until gone 3pm, so we contented ourselves with a spot of shop surfing (including the purchase of copious bath bombs) and some bar-sitting in Bar Coast.
Afterwards we met up with SK, PF, IC and a few others for beer at W2 (great cheesy grin there Kristan), followed by more at IC’s house. All pretty uneventful really.
Sunday was just another worky day.

Much the same as today really, though today is wetter.

Right, time to splish-splash my way home, shop, do college homework, cook tea and have a bath. Such an exciting life.

too much work, not enough time

and I *still* feel ill. can’t believe that a sore throat could last so long.
pass the Strepsils.

will post an update on the weekend’s events shortly….

Most wasted personal numberplate of the week:
ORG1, seen on a late-80s vintage metallic gold Metro driven by a little old lady.
Really should be on a red sports car somewhere.

Unbelievable – nobody turned up for the post-pub piss-up last night – a complete blow out. Instead, we’re supposed to meet in two weeks time for another attempt. I wonder if that will be abortive as well. I have no friends.

Instead, I went to W2 and met up with KM, PF, SK and, of course, AW, and got fairly drunk, having had no food to speak of. Which led to the amusing combination of an illness-induced headache and an alcohol-induced headache this morning, which was not an entirely pleasant experience, and yet not entirely unpleasant either.

I’ve just started re-reading The Thought Gang by Tibor Fischer. I first read it around the time it came out, which must be four or five years ago now. It’s a great novel, somewhat quirky, about an unemployed fugitive English philosopher who goes to France and falls in with a one-armed bandit…literally, a thief with one arm. Together, they plan and execute a bunch of philosophical bank robberies – an interesting concept.

Fischer is one of my favourite authors, along with Douglas Coupland and Ben Richards (invisible on the net – anyone know any sites about him/his work?). I’ve just read Coupland’s latest (Miss Wyoming) but I really ought to be reading books related to marketing – then I might stand a good chance of passing this course. But that’s far too dull. Besides, textbooks are too big to read in the bath.

onwards……

today my throat feels like a large lump of raw potato is wedged in it. if you’ve never tried wedging a large lump of raw potato in your throat, it isn’t something I’d recommend – and I should know.

seems I have given my cold to AW – she woke up this morning complaining of a sore throat. looks like I’ll have to play nurse again – at least it should be less brown and smelly than the last time (you don’t want to know).

looks like a fair turnout for the post-college beer sesh tonight. I’ve invited everyone that I have e-mail addresses for, which is 13 out of the class of 20, and it looks like about 8 or 9 should show up, which is pretty good.

so if I write anything for the ‘blog tomorrow, it’ll be thru a haze of hangover, as there is no chance to get more than a snack before heading to the pub – beer+empty stomach = hangover.

a bit better today, but still kof-kofing. would help if I slept a bit better, but AW is sooooooo stressed out at the moment, that it isn’t easy. not sure how to help her be a little less stressed – other than winning the lottery and whisking her away somewhere.

TPL score this week – 24, taking my total to 122. not impressive. (TPL = fantasy football game thingy)

most bizarre snatch of conversation overheard on the way to work today:
“I said I *was* a squirrel in a past life!”

still ill – *kof* *kof*

ugh. I hate being ill.
it all started on Saturday night – an innocuous sore throat.
today I feel like death warmed up. I really shouldn’t be at work, but there is just too much to do. Might cry off early though, and get some zzzzzs

yesterday was a day for abject silliness. A long lie-in, followed by a trip to Arundel (stopping for that rare commodity – petrol – on the way) to play silly buggers with AW on the putting greens. really good fun, and a cheap bit of silliness too, costing only £1.60 each!
well, I thought it was exciting anyway. AW won by some margin, but I reckon that with a bit of practice I can thrash the pants off her (oooer).
might try to get the posse enthusiastic about the idea of going for an afternoon of putting soon.

work life seems to be returning to “normal”. our parcel people are getting back to work after the fuel debacle (I refuse to call it a crisis – debacle seems much more appropriate), so goods are moving in and out again, and so is money. all good stuff.

plans for the week? college homework tonight I think, college on Weds and Thurs, a post-college beer sesh on Thurs and possibly some more beer on Fri. I can barely stand the pace.

hi – welcome to Grayblog
exciting, isn’t it!!

you may want to know a bit about me….

well, I’m Graybo
let’s get the boring bits out the way:
male, 29, 6ft1in, resident in Chichester, Sussex, UK. Work in horticulture. I’m single but firmly attached to AW, who I met nearly 7 months ago. She’s female, 34, 5ft4in, resident in Aldwick, Sussex, UK. She works in education.

I drink in W2, which is a bar. I go there with my friends:
KF – male, 29, an old school friend. Works in computing.
SJP – female, 29, also an old school friend. Works in publishing.
FC – female, 30, met thru SJP. Works in publishing.
PF – male, 35, met in W2. Works in design.
IC – male, 31, met in W2. Works in entertainment.
SK – female, 31, met….um…not sure actually. In W2 I guess. Works in publishing. Loosely attached to IC.
AR – male, 30, met in W2. Works in computing.
KM – male, 40, met in W2. Works in horticulture.
DA – male, 30ish, met in W2. Jeweller.
SH – female, 30ish, met in W2. Works in computing. Attached to DA.
TK – female, 28, sister of SK. Dancer.

there are others. I guess I’ll introduce them as we go along.

So what am I doing with a blog?
dunno really. I used to keep a diary long ago, but it got to be a bit of a pain, all that writing and pens and stuff. So this is kinda going to be a diary, plus a forum for me to vent my spleen every now and then and ramble on aimlessly about whatever might be troubling me.

or something like that…..