Well, after the weekend, today’s hectic workrate seems like a walk in the park. And talking of walks in the park, that’s exactly what I plan for this weekend - a work-free couple of days including some pleasant strolling in the summer sun, with phones switched off and computers unplugged.
Of course, if it yaks it down with rain, then I’ll need a plan B, which may well be staying in bed all day.

There is a plan in the making.
I’m so glad that I’m not organising this. I’ve done that once before, with only a modicum of success. It is somewhat hard to do when one is two hours remote of the venue.

US plans hypersonic bomber, thereby making clear that they intend to have the capability to blow up anything, anywhere, without even getting out of reach of the TV remote control. At least they’ll never miss an episode of Friends.

She lives!

Time for the pub.

Beer tonight with Paul F, Nicki, Ted, Paul C, Kearn, Cat, Karen, DA and Kev. Good fun. Bumped into Al and Arron on the way home.

Hmm. My fax machine is borked. I can’t get a dial tone, and I suspect that is related to last week’s electrical storm damage. It’s too low in value to claim on my office contents insurance policy, so I’ve packed it up and am sending it back to the manufacturer under guarantee. Hopefully they’ll just think it is a fault and will repair it and send it back, but I guess they might just say it was damaged due to a power surge, something that is specifically excluded from the guarantee. We shall see.

The hurt of not knowing. Very moving.

Gordon Bennett. Today seems to have dragged on for ever. The weekend still seems quite a way off yet.

Someone came here looking for the telephone number of EasySpace. It is 01932 356454.

I had been planning to take Sunday 13th off, and spend it doing enjoyable things. Today, my brother booked himself a holiday in Cyprus, which means that he will not be able to work at the Parham House Garden Weekend that day, something he agreed to do almost six months ago. Nobody else can do it, as it involves driving a hired van - mum doesn’t drive and dad, being over 70, is not insured to drive it. Consequently, I’m going to have to give up my day off, and abandon my plans for that day.
To say that I am annoyed that he didn’t bother to check even his own diary before booking his holiday, thereby fouling up plans for the rest of the family, would be an extraordinarily polite understatement.

If you’re planning to visit Chichester this weekend, then you’ve picked a good weekend to do so. It’s the beginning of the Chichester Festivities, with all sorts of street performers, theatre, music, art and more. And the weather forecast is pretty good too.

Weebl and Bob: Cheese. Therein lies a lesson.

DA complained last night that I hadn’t linked to any games recently, so here is Chokin Chicken and Blix.

Someone had left an empty Lucozade bottle on the train this morning. It had a promotional panel on it that read "Your brain is a weapon - load it like Lara!"
I thought it meant Brian Lara, not Lara Croft. I guess that says something about me.

The nursery was "Nursery Of The Week" in the Daily Telegraph on Saturday. As a consequence, the phone has been ringing off the hook and we’ve received a small deluge of mail.
By its nature, our industry tends to attract a lot of older and retired people as customers. These people seem to have a lot of time on their hands, and this is reflected in the way they transact with us. Whether in person, by post or by telephone (and occasionally by email), they often ramble for some time, when in reality they could complete the transaction quite quickly.
I’ve just had a good example of this. A telephone conversation that went something like this:

Equally, some can be the exact opposite:

…and then they give you the address in rapid fire staccato sentences, each line with an exclamation on the end. It’s quite exhausting.
Then you get the vagues. There is one in the shop at the moment. I can hear her asking mum for "a tall thing, with green leaves and white flowers. It’s called something." With 70,000 different types of plant available in the UK, that description is not very helpful.
And here’s a lovely example of the sort of mail we get (their punctuation):

I’ve never been to the Spice Islands, so have no idea what they smell of.
And people wonder why we never have any spare time!

It must be Idiot’s Day today. They seem to be everywhere. How come they don’t warn me of this in my diary?

Talking lamp posts for the blind. I did start thinking that this idea could be extended to help the inebriated get home after last orders, but then realised that all that would happen is that every lamp post would have some pissed person hugging it and telling it that it was their "besht friend".

Apparently the new look Blogger has a problem handling very long posts. So Blogger users should be advised to cut ‘n’ paste into NotePad before hitting Publish when suffering attacks of verbosity.

Slack Sabbath Air Guitar Championships. No further comment needed.

This place and this place are linked by one of these operated by these people. It’s true.

Today is American Independence Day and National Kissing Day. Not much chance of being kissed today, so I’ll just have to make do with being independent, and planning my next trip to America.

The BBC must be very proud of their animated trottoir.

Cycads under threat. Better policing of CITES would help too - and that means giving support and resources to bodies like the PHSI to put staff in airports and ports, as Customs personnel simply do not have the knowledge and experience to do the job.

I don’t subscribe to the "asking for trouble" argument with this sort of thing, as I don’t think anyone would actually ask to be raped or abducted, but in the case of the girl who escaped abduction in Doncaster the other day, one has to ask: what on earth was a sixteen year old girl doing walking alone at 3.20am?

For my next trip to America, I’ve booked my flight with United Airlines via the American Airlines website, and the tickets have arrived from an address in Spain. I’ll be flying from Heathrow to Santa Barbara via San Francisco, and returning from Sacramento via Los Angeles.
Now look at an atlas and see if any of this makes sense. Surely there must be a more effective way of doing things.

This comes to me via Fi. Anything you can do to support this, even if only to raise awareness by posting the link on your own website if you have one, is worth doing.

Following cockinfrock, comes this from Lizzie:

The master of luuurve has died. Barry White, RIP.

Drinks tonight with Arron, Nicki, Malcolm, Sally, Tanya, Jeremy, Simon, Bren, Greg, Paul R and Wendy. Hurrah!

Pictures in the frame, but no email tonight. Patience. Thoughts in East Anglia.

Trivia: which country, or dependency, has the oldest continuous parliament in the world, sitting for 1024 years?

Gordon Bennett. Mind far too far away. I’m off to bed.

Today, I shall mostly be waiting. Patiently, but expectantly.

Disturbing development of the day was receiving a spam that told me I’d "look good with a new electric wheelchair". Please, with a little luck, I intend to achieve a whole list of things before I need one of those.

Two things about this story: firstly, if you are in a tall building during a storm, there is a fair chance that it might be struck by lightning, so it isn’t really remarkable. Secondly, if there is an omnipotent deity, I like His style of sending a "sign" that causes US$20,000-worth of damage to a building where people come to worship Him. Nice touch.
Oh, and will someone shoot the BBC picture caption writer for writing a pun like that?

Attention! Animation à caractère scatophile. Appeals to my childish sense of humour.

I think I’ll stay in this evening. Yesterday was a little excessive, so I’m going to give my body, and especially my liver, a rest.

There seem to be some strange people walking around the city this evening, including a large group of mostly overweight girls, all wearing black with lilac coloured silk sashes, and purple hats that made them look like bit part players from Thunderbirds (and about as animated). They were followed by a couple where the man was clearly much older than the woman, but she succeeded in making herself look nearly as old as him by having a florid red complexion and a hairstyle that looked like something from a seventies fondue party.
I guess all of this could be related to the wedding cars I saw going up Orchard Avenue earlier. Then again, it could be something to do with the Festivites, as another bunch of people in black with sashes and silly hats has just gone by. This time they were mainly older men, and were carrying drums. Hmm. I think I may amble down to where the road is closed by the cathedral this evening and see what the heck is going on.

My horoscope today tells me that I want to hold hands with someone.

Well, I’m glad I went out to see what all the funny outfits were about. I’ve just witnessed a parade, one of the best things I’ve seen in Chichester in years.

When I got down to West Street, the Cathedral Green was cordoned off, the road closed, and a fairly large crowd had gathered. On the green were some large coloured paper globes, like outsize IKEA lamp shades, on tall poles, each representing one of the planets and the sun. Also present was a brass orchestra from one of the local schools, whilst, overhead, the falcons put on a stunning aerobatic display to keep everyone amused, calling to each other as they flew around the spire and bell tower. Didg music played from the Market Cross.
As it got dark, in the distance you could hear drums, and eventually two huge paper models of goddesses came into view along East Street, illuminated from within. These were preceded by the percussionists and about a dozen brass musicians. By this time the crowd was huge and people were pouring out of the pubs to watch. The goddesses were followed by a huge crowd of schoolchildren, maybe three hundred or so, carrying lanterns in the shapes of the moon, stars, planets and rockets, lit white, orange and blue. The parade made its way very slowly along West Street, round the bell tower and onto the green, the children passing between the goddesses and sitting on the ground beneath the illuminated planets whilst a fire was lit beneath the sun. A 30-voice female choir first played those garden hose whistle things (making a sound like whistling fireworks), then sang as all the brass instruments played together and the rhythmic rumbling of the percussion continued. Finally, as the voices died away, white and cerise fireworks streaked across the roof of the cathedral, to cheers and applause from the crowd.

Absolutely fantastic - and brilliant to see the city streets full of people of all sorts enjoying themselves in a funky and relaxed way - the closest Chichester ever gets to having a cosmopolitan and continental feel. I’ve got some pictures, but it was a bit gloomy, so I’m not sure how they will come out when I get the film processed. If there are any good ones, I will post them here, of course.

I honestly can say that I wish you’d been here to see it. It was great.

For some reason, I’ve woken up in a very negative mood today. Not a bad mood, you understand, but a negative one.
I recognise that one of my greatest weaknesses (don’t make me list the others - or at least don’t list them for me) is that I need fairly regular reassurance. Everyone seems to think that I have oodles of self confidence, and can walk into any situation and deal with it. But that’s a bit of a front, and sometimes I get as nervous and apprehensive as you can imagine. I guess I’ve just developed a strategy of putting on a confident (and occasionally brash) façade because it is the only way to get through a lot of business and social situations and thus to move forward in life.
So I need reassurance. I need people to tell me that I’m doing ok, that what I’ve done is good (and, for that matter, to make positive suggestions if things need to be changed). In relationships, I’ve always had a need for my partner to let me know that they are still thinking about me, that they still feel for me, even if they are far away. And sometimes it’s good if friends just come along and show me that they still want to be around.
It doesn’t always need words. In fact, it is probably better unspoken. Actions say much more.
And I know it isn’t terribly attractive. As I say, I do view it as a weakness. It isn’t a good thing.
But it is a part of me.

From weakness to strength - you have to admire the strength of these two.

FC Kahuna’s Hayling is an excellent song, and I quite like the simple message in the vocals. But who would ever be glad to be in Hayling? It’s a bit of a deadend place, to say the least. Or is there another, more desirable, Hayling?

Bug on a wire.

Some of you may be aware that I’m a bit of a fan of Cook, the purveyors of the finest gourmet ready-prepared foods. It seems that Marks and Spencer are going to launch a range of similar products under the range name "Cook", much to the annoyance of the proprietors of Cook, particularly as they have no links with M&S and will not be supplying the meals.
It seems from their website (and notice in the window of their Chichester store) that they do not plan to fight this. Surely there must be some grounds on which they can stop it? Do they own the copyright in the name "Cook" when used to brand gourmet ready meals?

Frankly, if you’re not listening to Global House Connection on this warm summer evening, then there is something very wrong with you. Live, every Sunday, 7pm to 9pm BST.

Hot news from PHSI: two new identification posters and information sheets have been produced on Diabrotica and Potato Spindle Tuber Viroid. Revised versions of the Importers Guide and Plant Passporting Guide have also been produced.
Diabrotica and Viroids. It’s a dangerous world out there.

Rapture is an online (and printed) what’s-on guide for Chichester and the local area. Far more comprehensive than anything the Observer ever lists, and much more down to earth. Highly recommended.
And I’m not just saying that because this site has been given a plug in the forums.

I’m still waiting, still being patient. I know it’s worth it, so it’s ok.

Meanwhile, work is getting stressy again. And it need not be. I get the feeling that the next two weeks are going to be something of a pain. Thankfully, I have a release planned for the end of it, something which I’ve been looking forward to for aaaaages.

Work is much less stressy now. A few major executive decisions have been made, and suddenly life is much easier. Can’t tell you about it though, not here anyway. Sorry.

Urf.

Dinner last night with Jane G, featuring grilled swordfish with a rather nice sauce made from fresh herbs, lemon juice and capers. Recommended, and a great opportunity for me to practice my culinary skills for when it really counts. Also an opportunity for me to catch up on the latest in goat farming, and to bring Jane up to speed on the world of plant breeders’ rights. It was more interesting than it sounds.

US cinema box office revenues falling. Hmmm. Matrix Reloaded, X-Men 2, Charlies Angels 2, Terminator 3, Tomb Raider sequel, American Pie part 3, god forbid Spy Kids 3. Perhaps if the promoters put their efforts into some of the excellent new and original cinema that is being made rather than constantly plugging films where we know the characters and have a pretty good idea what is going to happen, then revenues would be holding up.

It’s funny how things slot into place sometimes.

Top marks to Sharp for repairing my fax machine and returning it to me in double quick time. Irritatingly, the only thing that was damaged was the cable connecting the machine to the phone socket.

I took delivery of my new business cards for PFE today. Such excitement!

Hoverbump.

Today, I shall mostly be attending the Woking Nursery Exhibition in PFE mode. Expect quiet.

This evening, I shall mostly be strutting my funky stuff to Boney M and Rose Royce at the Real Ale and Jazz Festival (jazz???) in Priory Park. Seventies flashback, baby!

Bzzzz. Full report tomorrow. Good. But not great. But fab company. Thoughts far away, but getting closer.

The concert. Well. It was good. But not as good as I thought it might be.
Rose Royce, in my opinion, were excellent, with good music, strong vocals, some classics, some covers and something new, all presented in a way that engaged the crowd and got people dancing and applauding.
Boney M were less good. They had a total wanker on stage prancing about and doing the male vocal parts. Starting the set out with singalonga version of Amazing Grace is unlikely to get the crowd kicking. And there were fewer classics (although to be fair, Boney M probably only had three hits?) and more stuff that I certainly didn’t know.
My biggest gripe was with the sound quality. Rose Royce didn’t seem too interested in doing an encore because of it (and, in fact, didn’t do one) - you could barely hear the backing vocalist at all, who was left on stage as something of an ornament. There was quite a bit of feedback, and the sound style seemed to be to go for volume and to hell with the awful distortion - by all accounts it could be heard in Oving, three miles away. Perhaps if the mixing desk was situated at the back of the auditorium like it is in most venues instead of on the right hand side of the stage, the engineer would have a better idea of what was going wrong. I think that removing one of the corporate hospitality areas at the back and putting the sound desk there would improve the event for everyone.
Honestly, for twenty quid a head, I expect something better.

But the Real Ale and Jazz Festival (they keep the brand, but the content bears no relationship these days) is still one of the great Chichester social occasions of the year. I saw just about everyone there, and I’m going to be brave and attempt to list them: Paul F, Alison, Paul the other one, Xena, Bren, Greg, Aris, Julie, Jo, Julie, Fi, Julie (spotting a pattern yet?), Karen, Ted (with Samuel L Jackson hat and great shades and medallion), Nikki (in the biggest wig ever), Helen (smaller wig but danced on stage), Hamish, Ruth, DJ (who looked "great" at the end of the evening), Leah, Kristian and loads of others too.

D4D is having problems with a potential trademark infringement. Trouble is, they are trying to enforce a US trademark on a UK website, so Wileys are being both heavy-handed and ham-fisted. If they own UK or EU trademarks too, then Lyle might be stuffed. Either way, it strikes me Wileys are using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut.
Their UK headquarters is in Chichester, just by the railway station, so anyone who wants to go and wave "Free D4D" placards down there will be most welcome to a cup of tea at mine afterwards.

For those wondering what the inside of my new office looks like, here it is:

A picture of the paper goddesses from Saturday’s parade.

Not dead. Just very busy indeed.
If I get time, I’ll post from my mobile tomorrow.

Ping Pong, Matrix styleee. Windows Media hosted at flabber.nl (but not their own work).

Quack.

Today I shall mostly be frying alive in the baking sun at the Parham House Garden Weekend. As usual though, my mind will be miles away. And that is a Good Thing.

I’ve been trying to use AOL’s mobile phone email service. It sucks. It lets me write my mail and address it, but crashes when I try to send. So I am feeling a little incommunicado, especially as the person I am trying to mail is sans mobile at the moment. Sigh. Thank goodness for wapblogger.

I’m shattered. Today was a very long and very hot day. So, now that I’ve taken a cool shower, I intend to relax and wind down. And not go out again.

Another long hot day, punctuated by winning six bottles of red wine in a prize draw at the event. Which is nice. No volunteers currently sought for sharing them, although if the first bottle tastes of vinegar, I may give the other five away. I’m generous like that.

Things I haven’t written about here lately:

• what I’m really feeling at the moment and why life just gets better
• the wonder of factor 30 sun block
• the man who dropped a pot, broke it and swore
• paint dribbles
• white lilies blushed with pink
• the Chichester bypass
• yams
• why Sainsbury’s winds me up

…amongst other things. If enough people ask, I may expand on one or more of those topics. Except the first one, naturally. If I could be arsed, I’d have a Scaryduck-stylee rigged poll.

Why do people break plates? I don’t really know. Suggestions?

Some bright spark decided it would be terribly amusing to spill the contents of six litter bins across the cathedral green during the night. This morning, as I walked across the green on my way to the station, one of the cathedral staff stood surveying the scene with a clutch of bin bags in his hand and a look of some resignation on his face. Several times in recent years, the cathedral authorities have threatened to fence off the green and lock it every evening, and if this sort of idiotic behaviour becomes a regular occurence, then that is more likely to happen. And that would be a loss to the city, I think.

Tomorrow is the 15th of July. Notable as being my first pay day under PFE. I know that paying myself may seem a bit odd, but I need to show a salary in order to keep the mortgage people at the bank happy. These are the same people who lent the money to me in order that I might pay myself. Such is the way of the world.

bbzzzzz. bbzzzzz. I’ve got one of those buzzy headaches, no doubt caused by the excessive heat and being a little tired after a busy weekend. Thankfully, I have a long weekend break planned, when I intend to turn the relaxation up to MAX, and the weather forecast is for pleasant sun with an end to the searing temperatures.
The British - never satisfied with the weather.
And, yes, I’m counting the hours. 99 at the moment, or thereabouts. I’ve been counting them for some time.

Headache gone. Which is good.

Bloggers go to Parliament. The closing comments in this article about established weblogs closing down amused me. That’s been going on since the dawn of weblogs - even now, one or two prominent sites are on extended hiatus (e.g. Meg - I spoke with her the other day, and she is fine and well and very happy, in case you were wondering) and several popular sites of all descriptions have disappeared in recent months. But, at the same time, even more interesting and top quality new sites have sprung up or come to the fore. I would say that the creation of good new sites far exceeeds the rate at which good established ones are disappearing.
Anyway, it sounds like the meeting was interesting, although it may have been a bit of a geekfest. I’ll see if others have more to say (particularly those that attended) and maybe post a link or two here.
UPDATE: linkage…

• Tom gets annoyed with people who dismiss the event out of hand
• Amusingly, Darren tells us that Andrew Orlowski sucks wet farts out of dead pigeons, before going on to give a good handful of links to stuff about the meeting
• Gert says "I suspect that in ten years, if all MPs have blogs, so will five or ten million of the UK population. Blogs will no longer be a phenomenon, but just another way to communicate." In my view, they are becoming less phenomenal by the day, and that’s no bad thing.