Tagline - in-depth movie reviews in 25 words or less.

Pah! Anyone can have a black credit card - all you need is a can of spray paint from Halfords.

There is nothing worse than when my father gets a bad attack of Cleaning Enthusiasm. He has one now. How he succeeds in creating so much dust whilst cleaning, I’m not sure.

Must say that my chances of promotion in itsagoal are looking slim. It’s very tight at the top, with just four points separating first and seventh. I lost today moving me down to fifth, two points behind the third place team (the top three are promoted), with just three matches to go. So whilst any of the top seven could be promoted, my remaining matches are all very tough, my away form is shaky, and I have major injury worries. Gah. Nico on the other hand, is cruising.

I know that at least a few of my regular readers listen to John Peel’s programmes on Radio One, so may be familiar with the work of The Caretaker. It’s extremely hard to describe - an ethereal, bewitching, slightly spooky and disturbing sound created from distortion and remodelling of old 20s and 30s ballroom and dancehall music. The closest to anything like this I have ever heard before is some of Vangelis’ music for Bladerunner, or Angelo Badalamenti’s music for David Lynch - I say “closest”, but neither are really that close at all, but you might begin to guess the atmosphere that is created. John Peel likened it to being stood in the rain outside a thirties speakeasy.
Olli Siebelt in his BBC review describes it much more succinctly than I could, and the BBC kindly provide a couple of RealAudio samples for you to listen to.
Admittedly, a whole 50 minutes of it may not be to everyone’s taste, but I don’t think that there are many who could resist “Cloudy Since You Went Away” thrown into an evening’s listening. And “Consigned to a Yesterday” should put the spooks on just about anyone.

Another top 30 UK blogs, this time compiled by Fraser. Really quite different results on this list, although I’m more-or-less in the same spot, ranked 23rd.
These things are interesting, but how useful?

With PITP2 this Saturday, I’ve been trying to read some of those blogs that I occasionally read, but not often enough, largely to catch up on what those people have been talking about so that when I get into conversation with them on Saturday, I don’t appear a total fool. I can cope with appearing a partial fool; that’s normal. But total fool? Oh no.
I recommend that you do the same. And are you going to be at PITP2?

Tom has a new recent referrers thingy. The only problem with it is that since plasticbag.org is a popular site and the thingy lists all people who have provided two or more referrals within the last 24 hours, the list of referrers gets quite lengthy, and I’m not sure it does any favours for Tom’s recently implemented design.

I’m considering shaving. There are several reasons for this, and I may yet decide not to. But one reason in particular is pushing me towards this (more on that *much* later).
I’ve been stubbly in a three-days-growth kinda way for about two years now. I just got bored with shaving, and Andrea (with whom I was almost living at the time) said she liked it - that was enough to induce me to forget the whole effort of shaving, and purchase a natty beard trimmer to keep it all reasonably tidy. If memory serves well, I’ve only been clean-shaven on one occasion since then, which was Brenda’s 40th birthday party. I was seeing Marianne at the time, and she said she rather liked the shaven look, although we stopped seeing each other about four days later (not sure that these two facts are linked, but I’ve never let that spoil a story).
Of course, the most important person to please is me. I have to admit that I hate shaving. I’ve never been one for wet shaving, as that’s just too much of an effort for a lazy bloke like me. So it’s always been dry shavers, and they are ok but boring. And whatever method you use, if you’re going to be smooth, you need to shave at least once a day. And that has always been the big advantage of the whole stubbly look - I can leave it for a day (or four) and it doesn’t really look that much different, which is great.
Full beard or goatee options are out as far as I am concerned. My beard has a healthy hint of ginger to it, and somehow I don’t think that would look right on my face. But it has to be said that (in my opinion) the stubbly look suits my face shape, which is a little more round than it was a few years ago (rather like my belly, which is a lot more round - a development that is undoubtedly not related to beer, and is more to do with changes in atmospheric pressure, global warming or something). However, since Bren said I looked like Wilf Brambell, the situation has been under review.
Whaddya reckon?

Luan has been having problems with text on a t-shirt that doesn’t align with her breasts. Or rather, problems with a bloke staring at it.
Robyn had men-staring-at-breasts problems recently as well if I recall. I have to admit, I’m not sure why it is that breasts are attractive - they just are, and in a way that is attention grabbing (although I find friendly eyes and a warm smile to be just as attention grabbing). Or at least, mostly they are. There are some unattractive breasts around, but I think it’s fair to say that they are in the minority.

I’m really digging a hole here. I think it’s best that I stop now.

Only a draw in itsagoal today, so it looks like another season in division 12. sigh.

Vote Percy!

Another draw in itsagoal today, destroying my slim chance of promotion. So, another season in division 12 for my team. gah.

Lovely email from my old chum Liv today, who tells me that fellow former W2er Claudette is still working as a presenter on Spanish TV, doing a cookery programme and the international news, which strikes me as a strange combination.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO POTENTIAL PITP2 ATTENDEES - CHANGE OF PLAN:

After widespread consultation, here is the Final Solution - a plan for PITP2 that solves the problem of a clash of time and venue with the Pride March.

The plan is this:
date: Saturday 6 July 2002
meet at 12 noon in Soho Square
nearest tube is Tottenham Court Road

For those new to meeting other bloggers, we should be easily recognisable as the small (or perhaps large?) group of people that nobody is talking to, looking uncomfortable. (I’m kidding - honest!)

Nick Jordan and Graybo will probably be the first on the scene - anyone who is new or concerned about getting lost might like to contact me and we will entrust our mobile numbers to you.

The agenda? Eat (either what you bring with you, or foodstuffs obtained locally), drink (ditto), talk inanely with other personal publishing type folk. Repeat until people drift off. Feel free to bring cameras to record the day… just don’t point them at me.

Whilst this will not have the extensive verdant appeal of last year’s event (there is verdance, but less of it), it has the advantage that we will not be surrounded by people shuffling along in comfortable shoes (what’s the difference between Pride and a geriatrics convention?). It is also a central location, and the venue is such that as soon as three of us are gathered there, we will stick out like something that sticks out a lot.

This will, inevitably, not be to the satisfaction of some. To those people I say this: next year, YOU make the plan, ok?

Kudos to Meg for starting the ball rolling on this one and making the little gif. Thanks to all, especially Tom, who made useful comments and suggestions.

message ends. GSTQ.

Judging by the discussions and emails I’ve seen, there should be reasonable numbers at PITP2 - at least into the teens, I reckon.

I wonder if Tom means anyone in particular?

Oh dear. It seems that I’ve been inadvertently controversial again. It seems an explanation is called for.
Shuffling: in my (not unlimited) experience of being in large crowds moving along, there is generally much shuffling and little marching.
Comfortable shoes: in my profession, "queerosexuals" (to use Dan’s phrase) are far from uncommon, and most of the ones I know, male or female, would wear comfortable shoes. So I’ve corrupted the datum if you like.
So Pride could reasonably consist of a large number of comfortable shoe wearers moving along by means of shuffling.
Geriatric: n. an aged person. Many aged people shuffle and wear comfortable shoes. And what Chichester lacks in queerosexuals, it makes up for in geriatrics.

Granted, the similarities between Pride and a geriatrics convention are likely to end there.
But I’ll still buy Dan a beer if he shows up on Saturday.

Siiigh. Let’s see what else I can say that readers will interpret as offensive.

Saw a guy on the (late running) train home who was writing in a notebook. He was next to me, and I could easily see what he was writing. But I’ll not say any more about it here, as that would breach his copyright and you’d all moan at me for being nosy and looking over his shoulder.

In fact, I think I’ll spend the next 24 hours creating almost-content - just hinting at things, but not actually saying anything because if I do, you’ll read stuff into it that isn’t there. So I’m just going to give the most vague ideas here, and you smartarses can just try to figure it out for yourselves.

A day in bullet points:

• I spoke with some people
• I read some things
• I typed some words
• I carried out some tasks
• I listened to some music
• I listened to some words

I’ve just figured out why I’ve been so testy over the last couple of days - reduced coffee intake. Although, of course, we only get decaf here at work. But I have my first (very large) mug of coffee for today, and I can feel my mood improving already.
In fact, I’ve been so tired and irritable all week that I haven’t even been to the pub. Must put that right tonight.

Sad, but not entirely unexpected.

Whoa there! Triangular beefburgers? Why??

The Urinal Etiquette Game.

Is Nick carrying Mo’s baby? We should be told.

Separated at birth?

Beer tonight with Paul F, Paul the other one and Ted, who were playing an unplugged gig with friends in Sadlers, as well as Ian, Sacha, Xena, Chris, Sally, Malcolm and Tim. The jam session was excellent - one of the best for a long while.

Off to PITP2 and FezFest. See you there perhaps?

Do not shove the pigeons.

PITP2 and FezFest. I’m not even going to attempt to link to all the people that were there, but old and new faces seen (and mostly spoken to) included Luke (bon voyage), Catherine, Catherine’s lovely sister Alison (further evidence of the fact that all people called Alison are lovely), Mo, Nick, Darren, Tom, Tom, Cal, Paul, Paul, Dan, Adam, Vaughan, Ian, Jonathan, Simon, Meg, Brooke, Sasha, Matt, Glaswegian Gillian, Stuart and Cass. Fine folk all.
Conversation topics included:

• Blogging: what next?
• Blog archives: how useful are they? How can they be better organised?
• Blog formatting: should there be a new paradigm, and if so, what should it be? (I should point out that the word "paradigm" wasn’t actually used by anyone - if anyone had used the word, they would have been fed to the pigeons)
• Pigeon shoving: a new sport?
• Is being a thirtysomething better than being a twentysomething? (undoubtedly)
• Burger King vs MacDonalds
• Trains vs buses
• Oxford vs Cambridge
• Living in small cities (a good opportunity for me to use the C word extensively)
• The price of beer (now officially cheaper in London than Chichester)
• …and lots more, very little of which is related to blogging (a good thing, in my view).

And I was lucky enough to get a Yoko Ono CD from Luke’s great CD giveaway lucky dip. I say lucky, as if you’d seen some of the other CDs in there….

Once I eventually got home last night and tucked up under EvilDuvet II, I had a very bizarre dream involving a couple of blogging types. I was travelling into Chichester on the train in the company of Simon. We got off the train, and I walked up on to a grassy hill by the station (about where the multi-storey car park is) where we met Sarah, who was sunbathing in a one-piece black swimsuit (behaviour less typical of Sarah is hard to imagine). Simon produced a rather blunt looking table knife covered in jam and stabbed her, which was mildly shocking, and then made off on foot. But it was ok, because he was apprehended by a policeman (played by Dan) on a grocer’s bicycle, wearing a traditional uniform complete with cape. Meanwhile, Sarah and I caught an open-topped double-decker bus to West Wittering where we planned to do some whale watching, but on arrival found only a holiday village filled with very old people (well, at least that bit was plausible).
I really mustn’t eat BK XL Bacon Double Cheeseburgers so close to bedtime.

Oh god, I’ve just remembered that there were about a dozen cameras yesterday. Cal should have a photo of me with blurred eyebrows (my face still hurts from doing that - I’m not even sure why I was doing it).

PITP2 and FezFest: the pictures -

• by Cal
• by Simon

I’m sure there will be more. I’ll add them here when they appear so that you can point and laugh.

On a happier note….

I have a simple wish - that customers would actually believe what you tell them, especially when you are speaking to them with the benefit of years of experience which they do not share. Perhaps some people’s faith in business has been so badly tarnished by the few who abuse their trust that that trust has been destroyed.

Not much to say today. What about you? Have you got anything to say?

eBay buys PayPal. A good opportunity to remind you about the support this site section of this wonderful website.

Ian writes about the other event that took place on Saturday.
I had a conversation with a friend recently in which we discussed the way that the Union flag and the Cross of St George had been reclaimed from extremists and ultra-nationalists as a result of the Jubilee celebrations and the support for the England soccer team. For a while it seemed as if, simply waving a St George flag, you would be branded a xenophobic extremist, when of course this isn’t the case for 99.9% of people who wave such pennants. Thanks to the flag-waving of the last few months, proclaiming your English or British nationality is now a socially acceptable thing to do, which in my view is a Good Thing.
"How is this linked to Mardi Gras?" I hear you ask. Well, reading Ian’s account of the day set me thinking to the way that so many people use their heterosexuality as a badge, in the same way that xenophobes and racists have used the flag of St George as a badge (in fact, I think they are often the same individuals). That can’t be a good thing, can it?

No early morning update over at nickjordan.co.uk. The world holds its breath.

In my morning post this morning: an invitation. A proper one. On card. Hand written. In a hand written envelope.
I’m so glad that some people still do things properly, although it does show the rest of us up.

We’ve just got the car back - 25 days after the accident.

Lunchtime timewaster: Online Battleships.

Most "foreign" beer actually brewed in the UK. Except my favourite brew, Sagres.

Gah! It looks like Brighton may not have a manager for the start of the season in just one month’s time.

Beer last night in the company of Paul C, DA, Kearn and Kev, as well as the Could Be Good unplugged trio.
I sense that one of those minor changes is taking place at the moment.

Lunch time timewaster: another Battleships game (pointed out by several people, including Deceased Kenneth and Arseblog).

There are shedloads of broken links on this site. I really must get round to fixing them.

Ah, so ambiguity triumphs where decisiveness and proactivity fear to tread. But there will be more opportunities, I’m sure.

hmm. Sometimes ambiguity is better than the alternative.
No, actually, that’s not true. Not knowing is always worse than knowing. But knowing that things aren’t how you’d like them to be is never a good thing either.

Whatever. The sun is out. I’ve got loads of work to do. Best get on.

You know, in a way, you simply have to admire this guy. I sometimes think that it is a shame that the inexorable spread of Western-sponsored democratisation and electoral standards and systems mean that there will be fewer completely barking mad despots in the future. Especially not ones with Amazonian bodyguards.

Bren and Greg dropped round last night, which was very nice indeed.
I’m not a bundle of joy at the moment. But, as usual, my problems pale into insignificance against other people’s. So thoughts to sis-not-in-law today, as her mum is unwell (in fact, thoughts to her mum would be more appropriate).

Woo hoo! Off to the Chichester Real Ale and Jazz tonight. Which is, of course, noted for the complete absence of any jazz at all, but there is plenty of ale and even a sausage or two. Can’t be bad.

A conversation the other night with the only person I’ve actually met as a result of them randomly visiting this site set me thinking about my tongue-in-cheek title: I *really* don’t know you people. Why *are* you here?

Beer. bzzzz.

Working another long day. 13 hours so far, and still at it.
Found out today that my very first girlfriend, Jill, is to be married. Congratulations are definitely in order.

Oh, the train is coming near, the whistle’s blowin’ … WOOHOO WOOHOO (Daffy Duck, 1944)

Loooong day ahead. Long weekend all round really. siiigh

Hmm. When I post to this site via Waplogger (which I used for the two posts below) from the middle of a field, it doesn’t seem to publish my ramblings properly. This may be a good thing. However, I shall investigate.
Meanwhile, I’m very very tired and a little sunburnt.

I’m shattered. And it’s far too sunny and warm to work. But I must press on. guh.

I’m definitely going to buy a big bag of cherries in Waitrose on the way home tonight.
And I’m definitely going on holiday, some time very soon after 18 August (have a plant fair then which I must be here for - as I organise it, it would be unseemly not to be present).

I spent most of the afternoon helping dad to cut back a particularly rampant hedge and remove the rubbish. I can’t say that we picked the best day to do it, but it needed doing urgently. At the end of the task, we were both hot and covered in dust, filth and scratches.
But I got my bag of cherries on the way home (as well as punnet of gorgeous nectarines), and when I got home I got straight into the bath (well, not straight away - obviously I filled it first). But the holiday urge is becoming irresistable.

Hmmm. Probably good advice. Best ignored, clearly.

It’s hot. I’m pondering. And there are thunderbugs everywhere. These things combined do not make for a good mood.

At last! Brighton appoint a new manager.

Anyone who can receive it and is up at that ungodly hour might like to tune in to BBC Southern Counties Radio tomorrow around 6.45am when regular Grayblog comment writer Charlie is being interviewed and having some of her music played.

The boy lives in the past.

You have to ask - Why?

Ho hum.
But who knows what is around the corner?

There is no better way to lift the spirits than to buy music:

• Roots Manuva - Run Come Save Me
• Fluke - OTO
• Mark Kozelek - What’s Next To The Moon

It’s not often that you see a giant bee get on a bus.

Tonight was one of those nights when I needed to be cheered by friends. So biggup to Aris, Arron, Paul F, Kristian, Trev and Katie. You know, it’s funny, but even after all this time, W2 still feels like home from home.

Still need cheering up. My mood hasn’t been helped by having to put a rocket up Barclays plc this morning.
So, know any good jokes?

Inspiration.

The Shuttleworth Collection profiled.

Millport has been an excellent comedy on Radio 4. And the good news is that there’ll be a new series in November.

Questions:

• Why did IBM make it so hard to put the fixing screws in to the CD-ROM drive on my PC?
• Why do LG make CD-ROM drives that you can not open in order to clean the object lens?

Time for a new drive, methinks. An excuse to buy a CD-R?

A good match - shame Sussex lost.

I seem to have a footprint on the underside of my left forearm. How?

Want to know how to stir up the UK blogging posse in one easy lesson? Start a “Best British Blog” competition.
Reasons why this is a bad idea:

• how the hell do you define what makes a good blog?
• what is a blog anyway?
• with so many different subgenres, surely this is like saying "let’s judge the best foodstuff"
• "Our panel of judges will assess each blog in terms of design, the quality and personality of the writing, and the originality of the links." So design listed before content - is this significant? will people using standard Blogger templates be penalised, even if their content is excellent? and what is an "original" link? we all spot links on other sites and borrow/steal them for our own.
• is this competition goi