Lots of work to do today. What are you up to today?

Headline on AOL news: “Queen Mother coffin at Windsor”. Yep, that’s what did her in, for sure.

Now we’re all curious.

This looks interesting.

Football: Lee Steele’s stoppage time goal today not only propelled Brighton to the top of division 2, but also means that no matter what happens in the remaining three matches, the club are assured at least a place in the promotion play-offs. To be guaranteed promotion, Brighton need to win two of the remaining matches (a win and a draw might do it, but if Brentford win all theirs, we’d probably be third on goal difference).

Sussex all-rounder, Umer Rashid, killed in drowning tragedy. Related: Sussex County Cricket Club.

Beer tonight with Paul F, Aris, Arron and blonde Sally.
Sorry I’ve not had much to say today. I was extremely busy at work today, and this evening has been spent chilling out.

Top news: our very own dearly beloved Claudette is currently working on Spanish cable TV as the ex-pat weather girl! Scorchio!

TFF: a splendid 63 points as a result of my faith that Henry would score on his return, and my excellent transfer decisions last week. Total now 998.

Since the clocks went back on Sunday and it is now officially British Summer Time, I thought I’d celebrate by having an evening in Priory Park with a paperback for a spot of peoplewatching.
The park is slowly beginning to show signs of spring - the cherry trees are laden with blossom, the chestnuts are beginning to unfurl their leaves, and the plants and trees in neighbouring gardens and Jubilee Park are looking good too. Three lads were kicking a football about, each wearing red replica shirts - one each of Arsenal, Man Utd and Liverpool. Kids were playing in the newly refurbished play area, on the brightly coloured swings, slides and climbing frames. Near my seat, a father was playing cricket with his two young sons, who had full sets of miniature cricketing whites. They were really good - the next Waugh brothers?
I’m looking forward to a long summer of sitting in the park. Needs to be a little warmer yet though - when the sun disappeared behind a low cloud, I got cold pretty quickly, so headed home.

Sign seen outside a butcher’s shop in Bognor yesterday:
Pet mince: 3kg for £1
Lock up your moggies.

Suede proofing spray: “do not use in enclosed spaces”. hmm. Maybe I should have read that first. Traaa-la-la…

You are listening to Gilles Petersen on Radio 1, aren’t you?
Good.

Sorry I’m so quiet at the moment. I’m working really hard, and I’m absolutely exhausted.

This wouldn’t be much use in a British pub, where table service is virtually unheard of. And besides, the bar staff in my local know when I need a refill.

Quick! Head for the bunkers!

Two heads better than one?

OK. Own up. Who searched this site for "pictures of weasels having their nipples tweaked"? You need help.

Genie Mobile have the most irritating hold music on their phone switchboard. And a very long call queue. Tried three times this morning, waiting five minutes at least on each occasion.

It’s another beautiful day outside. Make the most of it.

Hmm. A new look over at the cult. Very, um, refreshing. In a good way.

Beer tonight with Arron and Malcolm, with sightings of Cat (happy birthday!), Lizzie, Karen, Steve C, Dave, Gary, Ruth, Paul S and loads of other people.
I’m tired.

Jeremy Hardy profiled. “They say life begins at 40, but I think it just takes you 40 years to realise it’s already started.”

Good luck to Brighton today - if they win, and Brentford either lose or draw, then they are guaranteed promotion to division one.
And talking of Brighton, I’m off there today with Sarah to see Neil, Emma and Kate.

For some reason, I started thinking about local children’s TV classic Hey Look, That’s Me this morning. For those who never got to see this gem when it was broadcast back in 1978 or thereabouts, it featured a bloke called Chris Harris (now vanished from the public eye) who (allegedly) cycled around the south of England towing a pink caravan behind his bike. This caravan carried his Aunt Doris (played by Harris in panto-quality drag) who spoke with a highly amusing faux-Hampshire accent, and who seemed to say little more than “oh no! oh no, young Christopher!” and waggle her head from side to side making amusing noises with her mouth (brlrlrlrlrlrlrr!).
Obviously, the bike and caravan were actually carried around in the back of some BBC van, but when you are seven, you expect to see Chris out on the streets with his bike and caravan, looking for young people with interesting stories (as I recall, he did a piece about our local cub scout pack because it had an unusually high number of brothers in it - yes, it was that exciting).
The question is, where is Chris now? And what happened to the caravan? Does he still have it? Is it in some BBC warehouse somewhere? Could the series be revived??

This from TV Cream:

Class stuff.

Excellent day yesterday in the company of Sarah, Kate, Neil and Emma in Brighton, featuring poking about shops (including fresh supplies from Lush), lunch at the Boardwalk, a stroll along the Esplanade, beer in two or three pubs, coffee in a cafe and cocktails in (strange to say) a cocktail bar (including pints of Long Beach Iced Tea - yum, but oooo my head!). John Pienaar, erstwhile BBC political journalist, was spotted in one bar in one of those what is his name?? moments.
Returned home, thoroughly inebriated, in time for last orders with Malcolm and Cat - where was everyone else?

As you probably know, the Queen Mother’s coffin is Lying in State (a term which seems to have acquired capital letters lately) in Westminster Hall. This morning, on the radio news, I heard interviews with people who were complaining that the Hall had been closed at 5am, when they had been queuing for four hours.
Get a grip! For goodness sake, who goes to see something like this at 1am?? It isn’t a bloody 24-hour supermarket!! It’s all just media-induced hype, if you ask me.
Noticed yesterday: McDonalds flags at half mast over their Brighton restaurant. I’m sure that QE the QM would have been touched by that.

Football: if Reading lose today, Brighton are guaranteed promotion. Brighton won yesterday, but so did Brentford. However, Brentford and Reading have to play each other.

eewwwwww!

Forgot to say that one of the pubs we went in to yesterday had a gents with mirror tiled walls and a glitterball - fantastically camp! Must get a glitterball for my bathroom at home.

Football update: my maths is pants as, due to Reading’s draw at Tranmere today, Brighton are now guaranteed promotion to Division One! Yaaay!
Considering that it isn’t so long ago that Brighton were at the business end of division three, it’s an amazing turnaround - and it will help Brighton’s case for a new ground at Falmer.
Related: Seagulls official website.

hmm. Blogger is being pants, and Easyspace doesn’t seem to be functioning fully either. So I’m finding it hard to update here, and you are probably finding it hard to view. Not a good combination.

There is something that I hope is going to work out this week. I really hope it does. I hope I’ve not pressured the situation too much. I hope that I’m being neither overly optimistic or overly pessimistic. I hope that the reality meets my best expectations.
And I hope that my Visit Venus CD that CDZone finally tracked down for me (kudos to them) arrives tomorrow.
Fingers crossed, eh?

Someone found this site by searching Google for "graham spencer chichester". I guess that’s the problem with having an open-book life online. So, own up - was it you?

Well, as might be expected, my Visit Venus CD (Music for Space Tourists Vol. 1) is utterly brilliant, already reaching into my favourite all-time CD list (don’t ask what the others are). It’s a shame that their music is so hard to get hold of (unless you live in Germany) - CDZone managed to track mine down, after some time - and I’ve just set them the challenge of finding me two more.

So, BT is to upgrade 100 more exchanges so that they are ADSL-enabled. Pity Yapton isn’t one of them. However, they are reviewing a further 500, so maybe we might yet get ADSL at work.

Jellied eels are the new rock and roll, apparently.

A quick and very unscientific survey of shops in Chichester reveals that roughly a third will be closing between 10.30 and 1 as a mark of respect for the Queen Mum. Another third will be observing a two minute silence. The rest will not be doing anything.
Waitrose have gone completely overboard and will not be opening at all until 2pm. But prize for silliest tribute goes to Hansfords, an independent tailor - they have a sign in their window stating that they would “prefer to be closed today” but if you want to be served “just knock on the door”!
Trading as usual here at work today - we can’t afford to turn away custom.

hmm. This causes me great concern. I am considering what action is appropriate.

UPDATE: email has been flying back and forth between the six of us concerned. For those who have only just arrived, here’s the deal:
Meg, Dave, Paul, Nick and James all submitted their photos to my passport photo page.
The Richmond Informer lifted the photos and used them in their advert.
At no time did they approach me, or any of the other people pictured (which would have been easy considering that there is an email link to me on the passport page, and each photo carries a link to the person’s website).

Both Meg and I have phoned them, and pointed out what is going on. Meg has a transcript of her conversation here. When I called, I got a more measured reaction, but still insisting on a written complaint (presumably to give them breathing space to decide on a response).
So we six are considering our next step. We are aggrieved, for sure, and will be seeking some form of recompense. It’s a good job that James’s friend’s girlfriend spotted it.

I should have gone to this, but didn’t because I’m a miserable antisocial bugger (who had just been dumped - humph).

TFF: 32 points. Total now 1030.
Incredibly busy again today, so not saying much.

STATEMENT: many people have asked me what is happening about the passport photo copyright issue. For obvious reasons, I’m saying nothing publicly about it at the moment. However, please be assured that there is coordinated activity behind the scenes. When it is all settled, I’ll report back.

It didn’t. Well, it has. But not quite in the way I had hoped. Oh well.

Don’t say that I don’t look after my readers. Since Desi has been complaining in the comments about a lack of recent images, here is a rare photo of me, in my flat, sporting a new haircut. Not a great picture, admittedly, but a true likeness.

Journalists - guh. I recently had a conversation about a group of plants that we specialise in at work (Iris sibirica) with a journalist working for The English Garden magazine. I said that there were shedloads of new varieties.
The magazine arrived today.

My fans will love that.

Passportgate: a letter has been sent.

Opportunity. Does it come around twice? How do you spot the ones to take? What do you do if you miss it? Should you just go for it even if circumstances suggest that you shouldn’t?
Discuss.

Good fun last night - drinks in London to mark Davo’s departure from these shores, in the company of Nick, Marcia, Mo, Katie, Meg, Luke, Catherine, Tom, Matt, Ian, David, Marcus and numerous others. Excellent to see so many spendid people, many of whom I haven’t seen for ages.
And I didn’t even have to run to get my train home, thanks to good timing on the tube.

Train excitement (well, almost) this morning when a goods train came into Chichester, stopped at the platform, and then pulled across both level crossings and stopped - bringing all other trains and all road traffic in the city to a complete standstill. Entertainingly, the platform staff seemed to know nothing about what was going on.
Eventually got to work 35 minutes late, once the offending train had shunted into the sidings.

Gah. I cut my finger whilst slicing my bread at lunch time. I hate doing stupid things like that - so irritating, so avoidable. I now have a plaster on my digit.
Still, it’s pretty minor in the grand scheme of things.

Yay! Thanks to a draw at home to Swindon (and favourable results elsewhere), Brighton are division two champions! Big parties in Brighton tonight, methinks.

Really, a very good blog. Read the about page. Like it. Lots.

Beer tonight with Stein, Paul F, Malcolm, Peter and Geraldine, with sightings of the long lost James W, blonde Sally, Paul S, Steve C, Kearn, Matt, Gary, Laura, Helen N and several others.

Is Tom having a crisis of confidence?

Seeking: dinner guest for tonight. Must be female, able to partake of witty conversation, enjoy good red wine and like roast gammon (as that is on the menu).
I’m cooking myself a roast tonight, and just fancy a bit of company.

Passportgate: the infamous advert is in another member of the Informer series of newspapers this week, this time in glorious Technicolor.
More fuel for the fire.

Sarah’s Price - an online novel. I managed to get as far as page four before I decided to stop in case I might feel compelled to poke my eyes out with a sharp stick. I can see why online novel publishing hasn’t caught on.

I’ve been unfeasably busy. I’m now unfeasably tired. So, apologies for the lack of updates today.

Ages ago, I pointed readers in the direction of the excellent Space is Dum cartoons. Well, you can now see seasons one and two in their permanent home. Cracking stuff, and incredibly funny - with excellent pisstake at the expense of Starbucks style coffee houses (Goooo Rechtel!!). I love Businessman Billy - hnyaar hnyaaarr hynaaarrr!!

What is it with nuns today? You go for ages without seeing any, and today I saw five (count ‘em!) on my way home from work. Is there a conference on?

A very long day - much work, no play. Work, followed by college, then beer with Arron, with sightings of the eternally gorgeous Becky, Terry, Simon, Dave, Trev and Helen N.

Top link sent to me today by top reader Charlie: The Man Who Fell Asleep - one of the most completely barking sites I have seen for ages. Compulsory viewing.

Top marks to my pal Bella, who sent me a little mail today that put a big smile on my face. Biggup hun!

Predict-a-Shag - are you going to get lucky tonight?
Highly scientific, I’m sure.

Send an e-shag.
Every home should have one.

Ah, the joy of a young child. Bless ‘im.

Joel really has lost it. Again.

TFF: a very respectable 42 points this week, taking my total to 1072. The transfer deadline is fast approaching, and I’m contemplating if I should change any players. Arsenal and Chelsea have an extra game with the cup final, so I may bring in one or two more from those teams. But how to pay for them??

There is a light, gentle rain falling outside. It is the first rain we have had for nearly a month. We really need more, but the forecast is for more dry weather. At least it will wash the dust that was beginning to coat everything.

New programme out for the New Park Film Centre - highlighted films include:

• K-Pax
• Bend It Like Beckham
• Comedie de L’Innocence
• Italiensk for Begyndere
• Y tu Mama Tambien
• La Placard
• L’emploi du Temps
• Lucia y el Sexo

There are several others, but I need more time to study the programme. Links to follow (I promise).

John Peel has just played Turning Japanese by The Vapors. Cool!

A quiet evening in interrupted by a welcome visit from Greg, leading to beers with Lord Percy in W2, later augmented by (ward sister - woohoo!) Cat, the ever-so-gorgeous Karen, DA, Kieran, Kev, Lucy (coffee on a lemon slice? ick!) and Mr Kristian Brown. Drinks efficiently and ably dispensed by Tom (thanks for the cast-off Grolsch stem half pint glass).

Another very long day, finished in the company of long-time correspondent (even pre-Grayblog!) Mary-Clare and her lovely daughter Miriam, all the way from Seattle. Great to put a face to words at last.
Also present: Arron, Paul F. Sighted: Kristian, Guy, Becks, Terry, Dave, Gary, Hev (in the distance) and numerous others.
Have a horrid cold, so off to bed.

My cold seems to be getting worse, not better. Sleep last night was frequently disturbed by sinus pain and dehydration. Still, I’m determined to fight it - not least because it is Friday, which means a pub extravaganza, but also because I’m due to give a lecture on Iris plants in Buckinghamshire tomorrow afternoon, and I’ll need my voice to be in good shape for that.

Why didn’t anyone tell me that Lyssa has redesigned her site?
Symptomatic, I fear, of the fact that I don’t read the blogs in my (ir)regular reads list anything like often enough.

Fans of good food shopping in Chichester will be pleased to see a small yellow notice by the entrance of Waitrose, announcing an application for a store extension. At last.

Show your admiration for this man by going here and making a donation.

Too cloudy to see this tonight.

Well, the good news, believe it or not, is that the county cricket season has kicked off for another year. The bad news, perhaps inevitably, is that Sussex are getting thrashed.
I think I’ll stick to watching Chichester Priory Park CC play.

I’ve decided that I’ll stay in tonight rather than go to the pub, in the hope that my cold symptoms will improve.
The problem with staying in, of course, is that I end up ordering CDs online.

There seems to have been an interruption to service here. Apologies for that. Hopefully fixed now.

Cold symptoms marginally eased this morning, thanks for asking.
Now making final preparations for my talk to the fine folk of Buckinghamshire this afternoon.

Lecture completed. Voice held out. Megaphone not needed. No other news to report.