eeep! it seems I have inspired someone else to start blogging! I have days like this as well! scary.

Darth Vader meets Bod - perfect Sunday silliness. (via LMG)

I’ve updated the Graybiography again, adding “ten pearls of wisdom”. Comments welcome.

Blogging news: Matt renames, thereby moving himself from first to second in my alphabetical link list; Rodney gets added to said list; Dumb Things looks suspiciously like it has died a blogging death; and I *still* love this site.

Book review: Three To See The King by Magnus Mills.
This is an excellent, if unusual book. The setting and prose are both spare, with many mundane aspects of the story not even touched upon (suspension of disbelief in full force - where does the narrator get food and water from? where does the tin for building the homes come from?). But it is an interesting and, at times, funny look at several issues - religion, the cult of celebrity, the nature of friendship, how men interact with women, solidarity and insularity.
In a way, I actually found myself identifying with the narrator - or at least admiring him. He deals with a series of issues in ways that I have dealt with similar issues myself - or would do if I encountered them. As such, an impression is gained that the author himself is well versed in life - I know that sounds airy, we are all well versed in life after all - but not only is he well versed in life, he also has a knack for putting that down on paper.
So, once again, my advice is - go buy, read, enjoy.

Beer tonight with Paul F, Arron, Aris, James W and his lovely laydee, Helen, as well as a few of his mates. James and Helen are moving to London to set up home together - good luck, my friend, and stay in touch!

My horoscope for today:

The only way to make sure that you don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again is to learn from the ones that you’re currently making. Take some time to reflect on your past virtues and misdeeds. In the final analysis, nobody loses if everyone learns something. As you move on from here, accept that most people are completely unpredictable. Your flexibility is requested — if not required — as the price of admission to today’s events. Be ready to bend with the wind.

I think the astrologer is having a bit of a laugh at my expense. “Learn from the mistakes you are currently making” indeed!

Holiday news: and it isn’t good. I’ve decided to postpone my holiday for a while, for several reasons, the principal one being that I got my bank statement on Saturday and also checked my credit card balance. There are other factors too. But I think I might just hold off for a while - I have a little money shoved on one side, and if things go well, I might call on that towards the end of the year for some sort of spectacular break. It depends, if you get my drift.

And some kind soul has used the Atomz search function thingy to tell me this: “I think you’re really pretty, why don’t you get a webcam please” - aw, bless! Anyone want to subsidise a cam?

and in poll news, I’ve stormed ahead of Brooke and Bella - which I find shocking, as I’d much rather see one or both of them naked than see myself in the mirror in the morning.

Can’t say I have any plans for a GrayboNakedCam. But if the masses demand it…..

There has been much discussion in nerdy blogging circles recently about the need or otherwise of making your site look anyway half decent in old browsers. I’ve just taken a look at my viewer stats, and 10% of people visiting here are using cranky old Netscape Navigator 4.x. One person uses NN3 and another Explorer 2. This would suggest that a small chunk of my audience wouldn’t have much fun looking at this site if I made it very heavily CSS dependent.
The question is this: why do some people use such ancient browsers? Downloads are readily available for newer versions of these browsers, and surely they would make the whole internetwebthang experience more..um..fulfilling? Do you use an old browser? Why?

I have spent the last hour or so sitting in Priory Park with a good paperback and a drink (only mineral water, since you were wondering), reading, people watching and enjoying the superb view of the guildhall, the tiled roofs of St Martins and North Streets and, beyond that, the striking verdigris roof of the cathedral with the spire towering above. Even a grey squirrel, salvaging discarded chips from a nearby bin, seemed to pause for at least five minutes, taking in the view bathed in the evening sun.
I love Chichester.

Advice for today: don’t drink four Aftershocks on a Monday night. Not condusive to a Tuesday morning.
Beer (and Aftershock) tonight with Paul F, Mick, Phil, Paul S and sightings of Steve C and a few others.

Read here to find out why I take great satisfaction and comfort from living in a beautiful, peaceful city where nothing is more than ten minutes *walk* from my front door.

I feel that I should be doing *something*, but I’m not quite sure what. The usual dilemma.

I haven’t posted any stupid stories from Ananova for a while. Here’s a few for you:

• Sweet nothings should be whispered into left ear. How useful.
• 60 hour singing marathon fails to win back lover. A mad Romanian. Bless!
• Doctor invents device to give women multiple orgasms. Better than 30 men, apparently. Well, 30 Romanian men.
• Battle to host Dracula Land theme park.

A morning spent in the company of the Man From The Ministry, including a discussion on the potential problems that could be caused by Orthachaeta dissimilis, the merits of various varieties of Hedychium and Callistemon, and the thorny issue of pub licensing regulation in and around Chichester.

It’s too hot to do anything other than stress. At the moment I am stressing internally about just about everything you could imagine to stress about. You name it and I am sure I am stressing about it. Of course, the heat means that I am too hot to do anything about any of the things that are causing me stress, which gives me further cause for stress.
In an internal, sedentary kind of way, of course. It’s too hot to stress proactively.

Search Google for mug tree and guess what site turns up at number 7? Sorry, no mug trees for sale here, but if you click on “Grayblog merchandise” in the sidebar, you can buy some lovely mugs to put on your mug tree once you get it!

To a barbeque last night in the grounds of the splendid Shopwhyke Hall, hosted by Kearn and featuring Paul F, Ian, Sacha, Arron, Matt, Paul C, Chris and his girly, DA, DAGS, Kev and Andrea. It was a good evening, although I wasn’t in the most cheery of moods, spending most of my evening waiting for the phone to ring - which it didn’t. sigh.

One or two people have reported problems viewing this site - the sidebar seems to disappear for some people. And what do you all have in common? Ah yes, old browser syndrome, especially those using Macs. Go here to get NN6.01 which *should* render this page correctly.

The long period of hot, sultry, humid, rainless weather has finally broken this morning, with a long, rumbling storm. There is a very fresh smell from the rain - you can almost hear the plants heaving a sigh of relief.

Thunderbugs are ickle. And bloody irritating.

Another evening spent in Priory Park, reading, watching the world and a cricket match. And thinking - a really bad habit that I should try to break, as it never seems to get me anywhere.

Further to my earlier comments about using old browsers, if you use an old browser, please read this and act on it.

Bumfluffchops????

Thanks to Reblogger, the comments function is now back and active. Unfortunately, with the apparent demise of BlogVoices, all the old comments have been lost, but at least you now have the opportunity to easily interact with Grayblog once more.
So don’t be afraid to speak up!

A steady light rain outside of those fat, round, lazy raindrops that only fall on hot, still, sticky, humid, sultry nights in the English summer - the type of rain that seems to evaporate before it hits the ground, but can still soak you to the skin in an not entirely unpleasant way. It’s the sort of evening when I should be out there walking with someone lovely, but instead I’m sat in here, wondering what CD to put on next, hoping the phone will ring and trying to summon up the energy to cook dinner, wash-up, do the laundry, hoover the floor or something.
I’ve always found that warm summer rain in the evening is a great mood enhancer. It doesn’t matter if I’m feeling happy or sad or depressed or whatever - that feeling will be increased by rain like that which is falling right now. Even more so if I were to go out and stand in it. But at the moment, I am (reasonably) content to sit here and listen to the cars swishing through the water outside my windows.

At 7pm today, UKbloggers up and down the land will begin a raindance. Hopefully this will bring on a storm, and, even better, stop just about every blog from being filled with moans about the weather. Alternatively, it’ll just give onlookers a bit of a laugh.

Poll news: it’s very tight indeed! A fierce battle is being fought for fifth place, with Bexta being challenged by Matt, Mo and myself, as well as the resurgent Brooke. Poor Bella is (unfairly) languishing in last place, whilst, at the top of the table, Katy is extending a well-deserved lead. It’s all just sooo darned exciting!
Get your votes in before Cal decides to close the poll.

Today is National Kissing Day, apparently. Chance would be a fine thing.

Well, doesn’t look like the raindance has worked. I kept up my little precipitation jig for 45 minutes, but the sun persists in beaming down on Chichester. I’m awaiting reports from around the country to see if it has had effect in other areas - there are a lot of bloggers in London, so maybe their joint blogging-dancing aura might have had some sort of impact on the heavens.
And I’ll refrain from talking about the other thing that is on my mind, for various reasons, not least that it seems to bother this man and I don’t want to get overly friendly with any plate glass windows.

I hear the pub calling … LOUDLY.

American Music Club: I’ve Been A Mess.
Catches my mood really well.

Beer tonight with Sarah, Andy, Arron, Helen, Steve and Simone. Also witnessed were Steve C, Declan, Graham VS, Bek, Joel, Tanya, Anne, Paul S and one or two others. I needed that.

My mood has just been enhanced (-: - and I mean in a positive way.

A strange ol’ day. More non-ringing telephone time was punctuated by a trip to the shops, a poke about some of the Chichester Festival Fringe things going on around the city centre (all completely mad and packed with people - so gave up), lunch in St Martin’s Tearoom and an afternoon spent reading a book and watching a cricket match in Priory Park as a thunder storm rumbled around the city.
Still, beats the pants off going to work, and is also relatively inexpensive.

Rodney is a Blog of Note at blogger. kewl!

Another odd night. Beer (and chocolate- thanks Arron) with Paul F, Arron, Matt, Stein, James, Jayne, Dom and Emma, as well as Simon, Claudette, Graham VS, Joel and several others. Few people in anything approaching a cheery mood.
From my own perspective, the day was not enhanced by the Orange network being knocked out locally by a lightning strike - guh.

Orange still down this morning. Bit of a hangover. Tired, not helped by being up half the night installing NN6 on my PC (it seems “OK” - no better than that).

Hmmm. I’m having a whole communication crisis at the moment - Orange is down totally in this area (the transmitter that stands in the field next door to work is also not working, but I got a bit of a signal on Chichester railway station this morning - just enough to know that nobody has sent me any text messages or left anything on my answering service - siiigh), MSN Messenger hasn’t worked for days for me (”the service is temporarily unavailable - please try later” - anyone else having this problem?) and my email box isn’t working (”the POP3 mailbox for grayblog.co.uk is not responding: retry?”). I’m feeling a bit cut off at the moment.

There is an interesting article in today’s Sunday Telegraph (not on their website yet, so no link) about the “Surrendered Wife” phenomenon, and more particularly, the new book that is coming up by the same author (Laura Doyle), The Surrendered Single.
For those that are not familiar with this work, the basic premise is that men don’t know how to handle modern women, and are daunted and intimidated by powerful, successful wives and girlfriends. This, the author believes, is a barrier to a successful, lasting, loving relationship, and is the cause of many divorces and failed relationships. What she goes on to suggest is that wives and girlfriends should adopt a more submissive role, almost to the point of becoming doormats. The new book will essentially advise single girls to adopt similar tactics in order to get the man they want.
The Telegraph amusingly does two things with the article. Firstly, to get the male point of view, they interview one man. Just one. A 32-year-old city lawyer, clearly representative of the male populace at large (not!). And judging by what he says, and his photograph, he is clearly a complete wanker. His advice is that women shouldn’t “scare the poor bugger off” by being too assertive - he says this as he relaxes in a recliner in his garden, peering over the top of his sunglasses, smoking a cigar as a “blonde bit” brings him a beer. Tosser.
The second thing about the article is the little panel giving “Doyle’s Advice For Singles” (meaning single girls), reproduced here:

• Let him ask all the questions
• Talk about his interests
• Let him reveal what he wants to…. don’t press him
• If he offers you a compliment, accept it gratiously
• Don’t try to change him
• List the traits you like in him
• Never ask him out
• Bite your tongue even when you really disagree with him
• Don’t list your achievements, you will make him feel inferior
• To get a second date, offer him your telephone number
• Think: “There is no such thing as the perfect man, but there are lots of imperfect men to have wonderful relationships with”

I can actually see quite a bit of truth in all this. The part about not trying to change your partner is true - that works both ways. In my experience, if you try to change someone, you just cause resentment and friction. What usually happens is that some of you rubs off onto them, and vice versa, and that is how you both change. And the part about there being no “perfect men” is also true. It applies to women too. There are no “perfect” people - I know I’m far from perfect (a few people believe that I think I’m perfect, but my true friends know that I have a whole bunch of faults and insecurities).
But I also see some serious pants as well. Why shouldn’t a girl be proud of her achievements? OK, bragging endlessly about them is irritating, but that applies to anyone, not just lovers. Bite your tongue?? - why shouldn’t you have an opinion? I always respect opinion, provided it can be backed up with good reason. Let him ask all the questions? - pressure on or what?!
And as for the thing about giving your phone number to get a second date - I mean, say what?? How else do you get a second date? Stalk him??? Hang around outside his flat until he invites you in?? Or am I missing the point here?
And “never ask him out”??? So how exactly do you show your interest?
I’m always fearful that girls I meet aren’t interested in me, so some sort of positive sign is always welcome. Yes, a big, full-on, “shag-me-now!” approach does tend to cause me to back off rapidly, but you can make your feelings obvious without going that far.
Powerful and successful girls can be daunting. But the doormat approach is not the way to a successful relationship in my opinion. The best way is through sharing, mutual respect, understanding and communication - and plain old lust comes into it too. Put all those things into a package, add that “certain something”, and then you get “love” - or something like that anyway.
Or am I too much of an idealist?

The cathedral bells were being rung as I walked through the cathedral close on my way to work this morning. I was listening to a discussion on the radio the other day about church bells - the argument was “is this music, or just cacophany?”
I think the jury is out on that one, but it is certainly a striking sound and it does have a certain beauty. The thought that occured to me this morning was that, when the cathdral bell tower was built, the sound must have been the loudest thing (aside from the roars of thunder and wind) that the Cicestrians would ever hear in their lives. It didn’t have to compete with the background rumble of traffic, trains and industry, the blaring stereo from the passing car or even the incessant ring of mobile phones.
It is no wonder that the church had such power and influence over a poorly educated populace. It was the centre of knowledge, erected massive buildings, made enormous noise and had great power and wealth. The populace must have been cowed into submission and subservience - the church was the embodiment of the “fear” of God. Now the roles are reversed, and the church seems weak in the face of commerce, industry, education, wealth and noise of the populace.
And on the subject of musical impressiveness, I defy anything to beat a cathedral organ. When I was on holiday in Lisbon a couple of years ago, I happened to be in Se cathedral just as an organist was rehearsing for a recital - it was fantastic, the enormous (and beautiful) building almost shaking with the sound. What was even more remarkable was that the organist was a girl of no more than 14 or 15 - she was tiny in comparison to the noise that surrounded her.

They might just as well replace the words “new calls to return” with the word “friends”. And get Anne Robinson to record it.

The GBlogs recently updated list appears to be offline at the moment. An alternative list of recently updated British blogs can be found here.

Bit quiet today on the blogging front as I get to grips with a long-overdue redesign of the work website. It’ll not exactly be all-singing, all-dancing, but it will use a lot more CSS and some of the tricks I have learnt in keeping Grayblog going for ten months. I’ll let you know when the new version goes online.

I can’t believe that nobody has had anything to say about this post (apart from Nick).

Spent a large chunk of this evening in Priory Park with a paperback. The evening had a slightly depressing feeling - the light, filtering through clouds that promise rain, had a definite grey quality. Even the kids playing cricket seemed a bit lacklustre, not enjoying themselves as much as you think they should. At least the limes and maples that surround the park kept the worst of the steady breeze away from my usual park bench, where I stretched myself out for more than an hour to read, people-watch and wait for my mobile to ring (it didn’t, needless to say).
However, on returning home, I got this from the BT Disembodied Voice:

Speculated causes: someone secretive, an ex-girlfriend or someone trying to sell me something. Or possibly someone that falls into all three categories.

hmm. MSN Messenger is *still* not working properly. At least all the other communication channels seem to be functioning - it’s just that nobody is using them.

Must add this site to the music resources list in the navbar. There are more music links here than you could shake a whole bunch of sticks at.

Not very cheery today. Serves me right for thinking that things were getting better.
But I’m being productive at least. And I know that some people are having a far worse time of things at the moment, so I really need to get a grip and put things in perspective.

The GBlogs recently updated list is back up-and-running.

I was going to post this, but Jen beat me to it.

Why Nick is like he is. All is revealed at last.

This is sooooo true! (Runs for flame-proof bunker)

As a marketer, I find this article interesting. But I do not agree with Paul (who has made his anti-mass-marketing opinions clear before now) about the gullibility of the public at large. Yes, people may be tempted to respond to a brand, but equally, people are *not* stupid. Every successful brand (Amazon is a prime example - what assets do Amazon have? A brand and a mailing list. Other than that, nothing) must be backed up by a good product and/or service (and I won’t bore you by getting into a long discussion about whether or not any distinction still remains between product and service). Customers will not buy into an empty brand in just the same way as they will not buy an empty cornflakes packet - what the Guardian experiment demonstrates is the first stage or two of the basic marketing model known as AIDA - Awareness, Interest, Desire, Action. The experiment create Awareness (people saw the ads) and a few people got as far as Interest (they contacted Joy by phone or web to find out more). But to get to Desire or Action, you need a lot more than a smart logo and a hairy man.
But, that does not mean to say that branding is not important. As with all transactions, there is something in it for both parties - the organisation, and the customer (and I use the loose definition of customer here). Let’s take a practical example that you might have experienced - I shop in Waitrose. I buy all my food there. I have an account card. I refuse to shop in Tesco. Why? The tins of Heinz beans on the shelf in Waitrose are not different to the tins of Heinz beans on the shelf in Tesco. In fact, they are usually a little more expensive in Waitrose. So why shop there? Because of the brand, and brand means more than just the logo on the carrier bags. Brand is about an idea, an emotion, a feeling. I shop in Waitrose because I know I am getting a good quality product. I know I will get good service from the staff. I know the shop will be clean and smart. Tesco do not have that image - they work on the basis of providing value for money, although you sometimes wonder where they are going with their conflicting ranges of “Value” products (cheap, no-frills) and “Finest” (premium price, premium quality). Beyond them are stores like Aldi and Lidl, who work on providing the cheapest possible option - no smart shelving - the goods are stacked on pallets and you help yourself from there.
And, yes, I’m prepared to pay a little extra to get the Waitrose “offering”.
So what is the exchange that is involved? Well, Waitrose earn a little extra money for each product sold compared to their competitors. In return, as a customer, my needs and wants are satisfied - not just the basic “need” for foodstuffs, but also my “want” for good service in a smart environment, and the knowledge that the product is of high quality.
But Waitrose (and the others) have earned their reputations over a long period of years. Their brand symbols (racing green text, very solid and dependable looking) are as much a reflection of what they stand for as a means of promoting those values.
So what do you do if you are a new player in a market place? You have no reputation on which to build, but you want to create an image which promotes certain ideas and emotions to your audience. This is when brand design can come into play - by using symbols and words that play on the experiences and feelings of your audience, you can create a feeling, a desire, an impression in their minds. Remember the old Alliance and Leicester adverts - Stephen Fry saying “never invest in a bank with orange in the logo!” - well, people actually do feel that way. Colours and shapes do convey feelings with people, and we have preconceived ideas about that. It is no coincidence that Waitrose, Marks and Spencer and even Harrods all have dark green logos - dark green (in England at least), usually conveys feelings of quality and dependability. Would you invest in an online bank that used Comic Sans for the text on its homepage? Doubt it. Buy fast food from an outlet *without* red in the logo? (Don’t ask me why - it just is, ok? - take a look at Burger King, MacDonalds, KFC, PizzaHut….). Employ a funeral director that had orange hearses? (actually, there could be a gap in the market there!! - it was my idea first! EasyDeath!)
Do you get my point?
So don’t berate the brand. It does an important job, and offers something to you to the customer as much as to the owners of the brand. And it certainly is not going to go away.

Beer tonight with Aris, Paul S (and friends), Paul F (alive and well - good) and Simone. Also seen were Trev and Anne, as well as Hayley, Terry, Leah, Tina, Ginny and Kristian.

when bloggers get bored

Actually, Waitrose does have a good record on social and environmental issues, having won Organic Supermarket Of The Year for several years running, producing a huge amount of produce on British farms (including a huge swathe of Hampshire that is owned by the John Lewis Group) as well as “fair trade” goods, having an excellent record on staff relations and welfare and largely shunning out-of-town car-dependent Tesco-style locations for central stores that form a part of the community - take a look at the branches in Chichester, Burgess Hill and Romsey as examples.
Yes, I’ll admit to being a fan of Waitrose. Yes, they are a supermarket, and not a small independent (and yes, I use independents where I can and where they offer something I want to buy with a service that meets my needs), but, in my experience, they offer a far better product and service than their competitors, and I am prepared to pay for that.
And yes, beans is beans is beans. That was actually the point of my post - I was trying to highlight the importance of brand to differentiate one offering from another (very similar) offering.

Just as the late afternoon and early evening were seeing me descend into a state of utter despondency, a single word and an “x” have lifted my mood considerably. Whilst there is no cause for celebration yet, hope is far from lost. But then, hope tends to spring eternal around here - it has to.

Well, there is a first for everything. I’ve seen warnings about products containing nuts. I’ve seen warnings about products that contain sesame. But tonight was the first time I opened a pack bearing this legend:
WARNING: This product contains cinnamon sticks
Whoa! Have the authorities been keeping the dangers of cinnamon sticks hidden from the public? Consumers of Waitrose chicken pasanda demand to know!

Looks like I should expect a knock at the door from the police any day soon. They are taking DNA samples from all men aged 25 to 35 living in the centre of Chichester, particularly those with stubbly beards - that’ll be me then. It’s all part of the hunt for the “Thursday rapist” who has carried out several attacks in the Chichester and Bognor Regis area over the last couple of years.

Let me tell you a story of bad customer service:
Last night, I used Novatech’s website to check availability of a memory upgrade I need for my PC. It showed the item to be in stock. So, today, I drove 25 miles to their shop, which they encourage people to do, in order to purchase said item, rather than going through the rigmarole of setting up a corporate account and waiting for it to be sent - I wanted to do this, even though they offer free delivery, because I didn’t want to be delayed. No problems so far.
On arrival, after queuing for five minutes or so (queue of about 7 or 8 people, one person serving, two others chatting in full view of waiting customers - not good), I explained what I was looking for, only to be told that it was out of stock. Thinks I: fair enough, these things happen. So I asked if I could pay for the item, and have it sent on when it was available again.
Novatech: No.
Graybo: What?? No??
N: Well, you can, but there is a delivery charge of £4.95.
G: But your website says you deliver things for free.
N: Yes we do, but only if you order it online.
G: So, even though I’m prepared to pay you now, in cash, and even though you offer free delivery if I order online, AND even though your website told me the item was in stock in spite of the fact that it isn’t ….. you won’t send my DIMM for free?
N: That’s right.
G: That’s ridiculous.

There are little puffs of steam coming out my ears at the moment. I’ve just fired off a terse missive to their customer service department (how strange - their website seems to have no place where you can make complaints or offer feedback). For a business that claims to be so very customer oriented, they really are not. Maybe I should offer some consultancy services?

UPDATE: I’ve just had a telephone call from Novatech. They are going to send me the memory upgrade, carriage free, and are happy for me to send a cheque to them rather than set up a full corporate account. I’m appeased.

You remember the dancing crabs? Well, meet Hitler crab.

Debauchery? In Chichester?? Whatever next? [I’d be interested to know where Paul’s friend went].
People do come down here to die, but if you want to see a lot of old people, Worthing is the place to go to. They have even more old people (as a percentage of population) than we do here.
But life isn’t exactly wild here, it has to be said - although it can be. You just have to know where to look. And I like it that way.
As for being Chichester’s Love Machine - hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I linked this when I first started playing it, but I have to say that, in spite of really finding football very boring indeed on the whole, itsagoal.com is completely addicitve. My team have scored three wins in a row, and moved from 20th in division 17 to 11th. You do need to spend about five minutes a day managing your team and making sure your squad is in top form, but it’s easy to use, and best of all, is free. Not sure where the business model is for this - maybe it’s just been built for kicks (ask Mo, who has his finger on the pulse) - either way, I like it.

Björk - You’ve Been Flirting Again

Beer tonight with Aris, Arron, Paul F, Nick and Anne. Also seen were Paul S, Simone, Claudette and Joel.

EvilDuvet II was using all her powers this morning. Or maybe it was last night’s beers.

Hurrah! The wonderful Brenda has fixed me up with a ticket for tonight’s Real Ale and Jazz Festival in Priory Park - just when I had pretty much given up hope of getting one.
She’s a star. Full report later.

Marketers are becoming less popular by the day. Particularly in the techie community.

My horoscope has me in stitches this morning: