note to readers: the “bastards” referred to in the previous post are not the other ukbloggers, but those shove-a-coin-in-and-get-expensive-web-access machines at Victoria. note to self: do not attempt to update blog whilst pissed at Victoria.

will give a full update on the blogmeet in the morning - too tired now. but it was good fun.

yesterday’s blogmeet in summary:
attendees included Brooke, Katy, Kylie, Catherine, Tom, Tom Ewing, Steve, Nick, Cal, Luke, Daveo, Rodney, Paul, Vaughan, Dan and Mo.
conversations included gatecrashing other people’s weddings (Cal), the explosive properties of olive pits (Mo), diagonal knitting (Brooke), breasts (Tom, perhaps surprisingly), how the parents of students can bribe them to visit home frequently by installing ADSL (Katy), digital photography (Nick “It Has To Be Done” Jordan) and being a blogging landlord (Vaughan).
most amusing moment for me: discovering that everyone (well, Cal and Tom at least) thought that this blog was a spoof and that the picture had been clipped from a Next catalogue! um..thanks guys! no, it’s all real!
there was also much talk on the subject of the location of the ukbloggers and what to do with the information I gathered in the survey. no real conclusions were drawn however.
I seemed to be the only one tackling the beer with any great gusto, and no vodkajellies appeared before I departed, which was a shame!
headed back a bit early as I didn’t want to get caught for another huge taxi fare, plus had a vague idea of making it back to the bar in time for last orders - but due to delays and diversions on the trains, I didn’t make it. guh.

the photos from last night. Official: Nick is worse with a camera than Meg knows how to be, from a subject’s point of view. bastard!

the sun is out, it is warm, and I am in a blindingly good mood. look out world!

the more I think about last Thursday’s date with Sarah, the more I think that it went astonishly well. In fact, I think it may have been the best date I have ever been on. In fact, I am beginning to think that the only reason I didn’t feel really happy about it straight away was because I had decided before I got there that I wouldn’t feel happy about it. Damn.
Which merely goes to prove that the more you feel that something isn’t going to be that great, the better it will be. And, it seems, the reverse is also true (big hugs to Meg).
Staying with the subject of dates, one or two of my regular readers know that I had a date scheduled for last night. Well, it didn’t happen, as the lady concerned (lady? how do I know if she’s a lady if I haven’t met her?) was delayed travelling home from her parents, so we have rescheduled for next Sunday. However, she did call me, and has quite possibly the sexiest voice of any woman I have ever spoken to! Further bulletins as events warrant.

how long can you stay at this website without needing the loo?

Blogger is being bizarre in the time department. I’ve just posted one hour in the future. Is Ev a timelord?

Just received an invitation to a seminar: “Skate parks - the hottest thing in urban teen provision”. Presumably the dress code includes wearing a baseball cap backwards.

compare and contrast:
a family friend recently died. He was cremated. His wife and brother recently collected the ashes - in a plastic bag inside a tupperware type container. They then went and scattered them in a local church, at the beach, and, upon finding some leftover in the bag (”a whole handful” according to his widow), under the rose bushes.
a family friend’s pet dog died recently. He was cremated. The ashes were recently delivered to our friend’s home - in a smart wooden casket complete with brass nameplate. He will find a resting place in the garden he played in for most of his life.

- this man has too much time on his hands.

I knew there was something else that had put me in a good mood - on Friday, Arron said that he thought I had lost weight. I thought he was talking bollocks (we were in the bar, and bollocks is usually spoken in that place). Anyway, last night I stepped onto the scales, and somehow, during the last fortnight, six pounds have gone missing. Now how the hell did that happen?

in an email conversation with a very good friend today, I have come to the realisation that I need some bedroom action.
of course, I am usually fairly incapable of dealing with BA unless it comes with emotions attached. it’s a terrible affliction. but I deal with it. so the quest continues - to find that elusive combination of head, heart and body satisfaction. any leads?

blimey - what a great day yesterday was - it was sunny, warm, I was in a good mood all day, I got loads of work done, including some of my college homework, AND I arranged a second date with Sarah.
yeh, ok, maybe seeing someone who lives five hours away is a bad idea, but I’m willing to give it a go and see how we get on. we had quite a chat last night, and I’m more convinced than ever that she is cool.

in other news: I’ve decided to redecorate my bathroom and kitchen. I have most of the materials already, it is just a case of getting on with it! so I’ll be quiet on Sunday, wielding a paintbrush. Any volunteers to help me?

I have a thermal transfer printer here at work. It is a particularly obscure piece of equipment. It is also particularly cantankerous. I hate it.

hmm - today’s discovery…if you clean pieces of office equipment, they tend to work better. You wouldn’t believe the colour of the crap that I’ve just cleaned from the printhead of the thermal transfer printer. But it does now seem to be working.
[this is not the most exciting of blog entries, is it?]

had to give a lecture this evening in Henfield, to an audience who seemed to be struggling to stay awake - they didn’t laugh at my jokes and I only got one question at the end. Although that may just be because I am a boring speaker - who knows?
Anyway, I over-ran by miles (coupled with a late start) and now I am exhausted and have no time to finish the college homework that is due tomorrow. bugger.
still, the good mood persists.

Meg suffered at the hands of a migraine yesterday. Thankfully, I’ve never been a sufferer, but I did have a broadly similar scary experience a few years ago.
I think I’ve said before that I run a few plant fair type events as a bit of a sideline. I used to get really really really stressed about them (now I just get really stressed). I ran a particularly large one (well, large if you are running it all on your own) at Parham House. It was the first morning of the event, and I had been up since 4.30am, stressing big time. I had done pretty much all the preparation I could do, but I was looking at the sky and worrying about the clouds (rain is the greatest enemy of an outdoor event). I was stood on the main entrance driveway, overseeing the car parking stewards as they set up, and directing exhibitors as they arrived.
As I stood there, worrying where the late arriving exhibitors were, worrying about the weather, worrying if any visitors would turn up AND feeling very very tired, my vision began to blur and darken. I just stopped what I was doing, stood still, and blinked a lot. But the blurring and darkening got worse, and quickly, and was coupled with a very sharp pain down my left side and a tightening of the chest - so tight I could barely breathe.
So I started thinking - “shit, what the hell’s this? can’t be a heart attack - I’m 24 for god’s sake! [at least I was at the time]”. and then…”I can’t afford to be ill, there’s only me to run this thing, if I go it goes wrong, shit shit shit shit.”
I just sat down on the grass where I was and took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes for a couple of minutes. Thankfully nobody came along at that moment, and, for once, the two-way radio was quiet for a while. After about ten minutes, I got up and carried on with the rest of the day, and the sun shone, everybody was where they should be, and 6000 visitors came through the gate.
But that did scare me. Ever since then, if I feel myself getting stressed, I convinced myself that it is not that important really, and there are more important things, like life, love and family to consider. Some people have asked me in the past how I can have such an “I don’t really care” attitude towards some things that really stress them out - well, the reason is the scare I was given that day.

Here is a list that I am glad I didn’t make it to. Although I share (most of) Tom’s sentiments regarding Katy, probably because of the Daisy Duke top she wore on Saturday which not only made her look most attractive, but also reminded me of youthful days watching telly.

considering that I am forever ranting on about Chichester for some reason or other, it is pretty shameful that I failed to mention that yesterday was the feast-day of St Richard of Chichester and was only alerted to the fact by Luke. His tomb is no more than 400 yards from my front door in Chichester Cathedral, although I’ve not noted many miracles taking place recently.

I just know I should be worried by this. Will somebody please persuade Meg to take a timeout?

Nick has pointed out that many UKBloggers play a musical instrument, but thinks that a UKBlogger band would be a bad plan. I think it would be a great idea! But what would it be called? Suggestions puhleeze.
Incidentally, I do not play a musical instrument, so if the band ever got together, I’d just have to do the promotion. Or be a roadie.

ah, but where did he have the lipstick?

I think I’ve mentioned it before here, but go take a look at these brilliant cartoons. Businessman Billy has the coolest laugh of any cartoon character (hnyah hnyah hynah hnyah!). And Super Suzy Rocker Chick is dead foxy. Episodes seven and eight come highly recommended. Flash and a fast connection are useful.

ok - let me set a few things straight. or one thing at least. judging by the things that people have been attempting to communicate by means of the Atomz search function, a few people think I have a thing for Meg. I would like to make clear that, whilst I admire Meg’s writing, enjoy reading notsosoft each day, and, based on the one time we met and a handful of emails and AIM conversations, found her to be most personable, I do not, repeat NOT, have a thing for her.
In fact, at the moment, I do not really have a “thing” for anyone, although I’m pretty excited about meeting up with Sarah again in a few days time. Maybe, given some time with her, I’ll develop a “thing” for her. Time will tell.
Now, to those people who thought that there was something to gossip about, and also the saddos who insist on communicating via the search function - GET A GRIP! guh.

pearlescent jism??! um….I can control myself. just.

this morning, on arriving at work, we all took an extended coffee break before doing anything - and sat watching Postman Pat. Absolutely bloody hilarious - we were laughing so hard that tears were rolling down our faces. For those that know their Pat, this was the episode where Ted Glen makes a motorised parcel delivery scooter so that Pat can deliver all the parcels that have resulted from Sam’s mail order catalogue. This stuff should be on prime time.

forgot to do the TPL update yesterday: yet another good week (I’m on a roll here) with a pleasing 45 points, bringing my total to 821. I’ve rocketed up the league in the last few weeks to sixth place (as of last week), and I reckon I should have moved to fifth this week.

momblog uk becomes tired lil brit girl - ah, bless!

Robyn is upset that I seem to get all the action from the search engine terrorists, so head over to her blog and terrorize her engine (fnarr!).
and, in answer to a few recent terrorist comments, yes, I do know what an angry fruit salad is, no, not everyone thinks I am boring, and yes, some people have said my picture looks like it is from a Next catalogue.
and to make life easier for you, here is an email link. just click it, type, hit “send”. easy, huh?

I saw a man selling skulls in Camden market once

Once, I nearly ran over Simon Callow on my bicycle

ok. the truth is out. Meg is a figment of my imagination. And I copied all the photos from a Freemans catalogue. Of course, doing the webcam was the hardest bit - the wig alone….

how is it that you can get so down after meeting someone only once?
Sarah called me this evening, and cancelled our date in a permanent kinda fashion. And sensibly too, based on the fact that we are four hours apart. She was lovely - saying how she didn’t want to do it, but she couldn’t really see how we would work when we lived so far apart.
So tonight, Matthew, I’ve been feeling pissed off over someone I met only once. I really felt that I was turning a corner. But I’ve been tripped up.
pants.

truism for today: things look better in the morning. and they do look better today.
that is in no small part due to my splendid friends who leant support either by email, phone, IM or in person. thanks guys. and yeh, I know, keep it in perspective. having thought it through, I think it is true to say that I am more upset at losing someone I’d thought I had found rather than actually losing Sarah. she is lovely, and I’m disappointed, but I can’t say that I felt anything for her as we had only met once.
so, it’s back to looking again. there is someone I’m interested in, but I’m not sure. as usual.

Charles Johnson dies.

decided last night that having a style sheet for life would be brilliant - if there was anything you didn’t like, fiddle with a bit of code and BAZAM! it’s improved! such a neat idea.

The Post-It 653 - an ickle piece of stationery.

I really should be very worried by this picture - take a look at the whole AmIMegOrNot project.

tonight, Radio4, 6.30pm, Dead Ringers - compulsory, or Mr Perkins will get you.

the decorating is progressing slowly but surely. last night I had a polyfilla frenzy and filled all the holes created by removing the huge ghastly mirrors in the bathroom (feel free to burst into song now). tonight I have to wash down the ceiling and walls before starting on the sealing of the ceiling and painting tomorrow. and a survey of the kitchen reveals the need for similar work there too, it seems.
(incidentally, whilst looking for a link to The Beat, I stumbled across this site - I mean, like, um, what?!)

after the polyfilla sesswion, I headed out to the Nags for beer with DA, DAGS, Paul F, Mandy, Sacha, Ian, Kearn, Tanya and Jim. Ian bought me a triple vodka and red bull, which I can still taste now! After that, we headed back to Ian’s, drank all his beer but rejected the vodka (lacking any mixer) and listened to his CDs after he and Sacha had gone to bed (accompanied by much sniggering from those of us left downstairs!). I left at 2.30, but Paul, James and Mandy were still going strong.
The walk home was bliss - the city was being washed by a light drizzle, and was totally silent and completely deserted. I love walking home when it is like that - not a single car passed, and the only people I saw were a couple walking in the distance, enjoying the night as well. Chichester is rarely quiet, and certainly isn’t during the day. Sometimes, it isn’t even quiet at night - but if ever it is going to be quiet, it is at 3am. There have even been times when I’ve even been known to sit on the bench outside Marks and Spencer on East Street at 3am, purely to savour the solitude and silence.

had a strange conversation with my mum earlier.
she was talking about a neighbour - their daughter is getting married today for the second time.
suddenly, she came over all reflective and started talking about failed marriages, especially those of her brothers. then she said:
“sometimes I think you have the best idea, playing the field”
I was mildly shocked by this. I’ve never considered myself as a field player - my total number of girlfriends to date is still in single digits. yes, I might flirt a bit, but nothing more. maybe I should?

I’m more tired than should be permitted. And I could really use some quality contact.
But at least the sun is out now.

Cal’s “is Mo human?” poll is turning up some not entirely unexpected results. it has to be said, that stopping smoking has unlikely to humanize him either. but he’s still a top bloke.
ukbloggers - obsessed with other ukbloggers? yep, I reckon so.

beer tonight with [deep breath]: Kearn, Paul F, DA, DAGS, Tanya, Matt, Clive, Ian and James. Also witnessed were Catherine (long time, no see), DJ plus Al, Bruno and the delightful Claudette. And new bar decor, Jenny - nice (-:
am really tired tonight, and not a little spikey - need to sleep, so will do that now. long day of decorating ahead tomorrow.

considerably less spiky today, no doubt helped by the sunny weather.
actually been positively saintly today, getting up just after 7am (I think the residue of spikiness I felt when I woke up was a spur to get some stuff done) to clear the remaining clutter from the bathroom (i.e. the last of the shampoos and the shower curtain and rail) and begin painting. By 9am, the ceiling and walls had been given a coating of damp proofer where it was needed (most of it), and I was changed into clean clothes and heading for the station.
Of course, I forgot to take my Network Card, so had to pay full fare to get to Brighton (guh - but it’s only a saving of about £3). Arrived there before the shops opened, so had an espresso and bagel in Starbucks. Also had a chat with Sarah on the phone (have realised that I refer to my friend Sarah as “Sarah”, and also Sarah-who-I-went-on-a-date-with - note that in future, Sarah-the-date will be referred to as Sarah W for clarity) whilst on the train to Brighton.
Anyway, post-coffee, I shuffled round Borders (not inspired), Habitat (£104 - mirror, towel rail, bathroom light, nightlights), Primark (very uninspired, but cheap) and Gap (nice stuff, pretty good value, but nothing that really grabbed me) before shuffling back to the station, just in time for a train to get me back to Chichester by 1pm. Then, after treating myself to a cab home, I went back out to look for two 9W SES tungsten energy saving bulbs (no hope), a bottle of white spirit (though prob too late to save this morning’s brush - I used my crappiest one deliberately), a CD-ROM drive (Dixons out of stock, everywhere else shut - guh), some flowers (both of my favourite florists closed - bah), a new book (Amaryllis Day and Night by Russell Hoban) and lunch (chicken in herb bread thingy, root veg crisps and choc wafer from Costa).
Just eaten lunch, about to have a coffee, then daub more paint. Not sure whether to get on with the ceiling or the wall - will probably do the wall, as I reckon it will take two coats to cover the ghastly peach-with-sage-green-sponge-pattern that I’m trying to get rid of.
Plans for the rest of the day? Laundry, dinner (ham and eggs) and then off to the bar for a beer and chat with Paul F tonight. And I’ll have AIM turned on all afternoon, so if you feel like saying hello, feel free to do so - but if I take a while to get back to you, that’ll be because I’m up the ladder with a brush!

right - first coat of ivory now shoved on the walls of the bathroom - it is definitely going to need two coats, as the sage green shows through in places. As the coat applied today will not be thoroughly dry before about midnight, that is all I can do today. Tomorrow evening I plan to do the ceiling and coving, although I think I need to borrow my dad’s leadlamp, as the lighting in my bathroom is best described as poor (hence purchase of new light fitting today). Then on Tuesday night I’ll do the second coat of ivory on the walls, and Thursday night the woodwork and radiator with white (unless something comes up in the meantime - I’ve got the day off on Good Friday and was hoping that a good plan for Thursday night and/or Friday would be made). I can always put off doing the woodwork and rad until a later date, although I’d like to get it done fairly soon. The other problem I have is that I can’t use the bath or shower until the decorating is done, so will have to make use of the facilities at mum and dad’s, or maybe give Sarah a call.
next on the agenda - defrost the freezer and sort out the laundry. then do the washing up and cook dinner. then head to the pub. no rest!

oh, and thanks to the people who sent encouraging messages. I mean, I was only painting! Imagine if I’d been performing open-heart surgery or something!

book review time, you lucky people. and guess what? - yep, double dose, as I never got round to posting my thoughts on Blue Light.
Blue Light by Walter Mosley was, for me, an intriguing and yet ultimately disappointing book. It’s is a strange combination of science fiction, 60s nostalgia and crazed drug trip. I felt it was a bit slow to start, and I only really got into it after 50 pages or so, but even then you wonder if there are bits of the story that the author has felt he has to tidy up in some brief way because he can’t see how to carry it on. The climax at the end is actually somewhat dampened by the epilogue, which puts a downer on the whole thing, And, as I am fascinated by human relationships and other people’s take on them, there was little in the book to challenge me, in spite of claims on the cover to question “identity, race and humanity”. nah. don’t bother.
Twelve by Vanessa Jones, on the other hand, comes highly recommended. Any comparisons to Helen Fielding undervalue this book by miles. This is much more about human interactions and emotions than pathetic cigarette counts and glasses of Chardonnay. The characters are totally believable (I know some people like them!) and the setting is convincing too. Recommendation: buy it!

beer tonight with (as promised) Paul F and the ever-youthful Aris.

go to work on an egg - in my case this morning, a seven-minute soft-boiled goose’s egg. yum!

I have an inner warm feeling this morning - probably the combination of drinks and a good chat with friends last night, that delicious egg for breakfast, and the feeling of satisfaction with the decorating progress made yesterday. My flat has just been improved considerably - when I went in the bathroom this morning, the bright and clean look of the room was very very encouraging. With plans to finish the bathroom and do the kitchen over the next couple of weeks, plus the replacement gutter to be installed on Good Friday and new windows sometimes soon (note to self: must chase the District Council about that), things are very encouraging indeed.

Simon says. me and Meg the product of Luke’s mind? nah. if that were true, there would be much more hair dye.

words and phrases that have been used to describe me lately:
- incorrigible
- a good kisser
- a good laugh
- stubborn
- funny (in the strange sense)
- a good mate
- attractive
- a broad thinker
- bloody awful (as in “you look bloody awful” - thanks Matt)

any more submissions?

ok. I’m in a good mood. That’s all I can say.
Don’t say that you are not kept informed about these things.
[note: yep, I even keep some secrets from my blog. And, no, don’t bother to ask, ok?]

the perfect way to waste hours in the office - online Scaletrix. (and, yes, I know everyone has blogged this already [I think Davo was first], but it is just too good not to mention.)

highlight of the day so far (well, at least the highlight that is for public consumption): buying a new loo seat. Granted, today has not been the most exciting of days.

how to instil a huge sense of self-doubt in someone: lesson one:
make that person ponder whether or not they are, in fact, dull, living in the dullest place on the planet, leading a dull life, even if, previously, they believed they were not dull (well, not entirely), the place they lived in wasn’t dull (not very exciting, granted) and their life wasn’t in the least bit dull (hey! I bought a loo seat today! and ate a goose’s egg!).
my confidence has just been zapped.

in other news: painted the bathroom ceiling (dull, yeh, I know) and continued to attempt to get my new PC to work, by adding a brand new CD drive (yup, dull again). sigh.

my mood is no better this morning, due in no small part to the fact that I had a crappy night’s sleep. I think it was probably a combination of paint fumes, over-tiredness and a head that was far too full of stuff. I slept only fitfully until about 4am, then solidly until 7, then dozily until after 8. Consequently, I was more than half an hour late for work this morning (although I did stop on the way to sort out some recycling and get together some decorating detritus to go to the refuse centre).
I really want things to work at the moment. But I mustn’t try too hard. And I must also accept, that sometimes, things don’t work. *And* I mustn’t be negative.

the about page has been revised slightly. feel free to wander over and refresh your memory on the subject of “who is Graybo?”

Graybo states the obvious: Meg would feel less tired if she went to bed earlier.

Yesterday, somebody found my site by searching for fruit salad plants. Genetic engineering gone mad?

time for a rant:
I think it is high time that we followed the Dutch and others and legalised euthanasia. It seems utterly preposterous to me that humans are kept alive artificially with often unbearable pain, complete loss of dignity and at great expense both financially for the community, and emotionally for the patient and their loved ones. Yet, at the same time, once our pets become seriously ill, we are ready to ease their suffering and provide a painless end to their misery.
The Dutch approach seems sensible to me - a regulated system that should (hopefully) prevent abuses. But I doubt that this sort of legislation could ever be passed here - too many people (the sort my father would call “do-gooders”) would object on whatever grounds. The churches would certainly not tolerate it - they would come out with the argument that it is not God’s will - but is it also not our duty (if we are believers or not) to alleviate pain and suffering where we can, and are we not fortunate to have the skills and technology available to do that?
I should like to record here, publicly, that if ever I am unfortunate enough to be in that position, I would rather my life was ended than for me to suffer and cause suffering to those around me.
rant ends.

sports news: you’d think, to be honest, that by the time you are ten-nil down by half time, you’d just put all eleven men on the goal line and try and save some face.

more sport: as a Brighton and Hove Albion follower, I really must not think uncharitable thoughts about this story. (Chesterfield head Division 3, Brighton are currently third)

the house that blogging built has another idea. or were they inspired by this man?

new word for today: ramblong. shorthand for “long and rambling” as in the phrase “last night I sent a ramblong email to her, but I don’t think it helped any”. I may start a dictionary page.

on the subject of dictionaries, I recently signed up to dictionary.com’s word-of-the-day service, and as a service to readers, I’ll attempt to use each day’s word in the course of my blogging.
Today’s word is distrait, which is actually pretty appropriate for me today.

tonight’s plan: go to the refuse centre with my decorating detritus, visit Waitrose, paint the second coat of ivory on the bathroom walls and then, if energy permits (as I’m reallllllly tired), head down to The Fountain around 10-ish to see Paul F and the band. Phone calls/IMs/emails of encouragement always welcome (though if I don’t answer right away, I’ll be up the ladder - but I will get back to you, I promise!).

bit worried about Seamus (the nursery cat) - looks like he has hurt his tail. off to the v..e..t.. tomorrow methinks.

I’ve just done something I have always wanted to do. Along with my decorating detritus, I have just taken an old TV belonging to my parents to the refuse centre. Chichester refuse centre is great in that you park your car alongside a low wall and throw your rubbish over it - to a 15 feet drop below.
Now I have always always always wanted to do one of those television-dropped-from-a-great-height things that you see in films where the telly goes bang, so I was really looking forward to that. But when I threw it over, it rolled over as it fell and landed on its back. No spectacular “bang”, merely a muffled “whump”. The tube remained intact.
How disappointing.
Almost as disappointing as the fact that the council don’t have recycling facilities for these things.

hurrah! At last my new (to me) PC is up and running. Almost sad to see my old one go - it has been a loyal servant for around 5 years, at work before I brought it home. Now, sadly, it is destined for the scrap heap, although I’m half tempted to give it to mum to get her to try the interwebnet thing.
I’m tempted to upgrade this machine a bit. The processor is upgradable (currently a P1 133) and there are acres of spare slots in the box - so a faster modem is on the cards, more RAM and probably a sound card - the modem and sound card will probably be the first additions.
Unfortunately, although I did touch up the ceiling paint that I applied last night, I haven’t made any time to put the second coat of paint on the walls in the bathroom this evening, and I’m supposed to be going out to see Paul and the band - hmmm. Well, I suppose I could go and quickly slap some on…

wow! what a productive evening. Not only did I sort out this PC, but I also painted the bathroom walls AND made it to see the last 40 minutes of tonight’s gig by Could Be Good. Paul splendidly came up with a new version of Walking The Dog, since I was